Job Discussion Forums

stumptowny · Joined: 29 May 2011 Posts: 310

off the mark. stay on point people.. stop thinking about sex and think about language ability.. (the topic)

tokyoliz... you don't have to be drunk to bump uglies... don't sell yourself short when you want a piece.. my two cents. and please stay clear of me.. yikes.

the people I know who don't speak japanese, need to drink to meet/keep their partners.... they also don't fret about where to meet people.. or if they will meet a serious partner... they essentially don't worry much..

rxk22 · Joined: 19 May 2010 Posts: 1629

I think you said why just here. People who don't want to learn Japanese at all, just don't care. An oversimplification, but somewhat shows how and why. People who tend to be more free spirited and don't care, are more likely to come off as "cool" to the opposite sex when interacting.

And you were pretty rude to Tokyoliz, that was strange and uncalled for comment there.

RM1983 · Joined: 03 Jan 2007 Posts: 360

Was that negging?

stumptowny · Joined: 29 May 2011 Posts: 310

no, it stands.. portraying "bumping uglies" as an alcohol only related endeavor is just sad...

ssjup81 · Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:00 am Post subject:

Beauty is in the eye if the beholder. Calling one ugly is a bit mean or saying those who are can't do anything unless the partner is intoxicated. Beauty is too subjective for that imo.

HLJHLJ · Joined: 06 Oct 2009 Posts: 1218 Location: Ecuador

ssjup81 · Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:28 am Post subject:

Oh...sorry for the misunderstanding. ^^

TokyoLiz · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1548 Location: Tokyo, Japan

Wow, I've been misinterpreted many times.

Inebriated hook ups are common, but not something I engage in or recommend. I merely reported a story a colleague told me. Young people drink and lose inhibitions. That's natural. I don't judge people who hook up.

Like I said, I'm seeing a guy. We have wid ranging conversations, besides carnal interest. I'm conversant in Japanese, and he's fluent in English and speaks a few other languages. We negotiate issues in whatever language is easiest in the moment. So I'd say yes, if your definition of success with the opposite sex is sustaining a relationship, then language skill is important.

If you merely want to meet the opposite sex casually, you may get by with minimal language.

I used a colloquial expression that someone didn't get from context. Oh, well. I've been a bit lost myself when reading this forum since I'm a 15 year resident a bit out of touch with current slang.

fat_chris · Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 3198 Location: Beijing

stumptowny · Joined: 29 May 2011 Posts: 310

"If you're only interested in bumping uglies, some alcohol and making eyes at a girl should work fine." that is a recommendation...

my post: "Does speaking Japanese dictate success with the opposite sex?" to which you replied "I'm that".. you're what? both man and woman? you are attempting to fly the mantle for one gender and crashing out a bit.. opposite means both genders.. not yours.

the gaijins I know don't drink to meet other people.. they are not drinking when courting that person, or later on. but they do have varying abilities of language... actually most people i know don't drink.. if they meet someone, they talk and go from there....

I think you are out of touch with gaijins on the whole as it relates to my post, as your downward view portrays.. (really, I have a relationship but here's what i think the rest of you are capable of...) it's douchee..

TokyoLiz · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1548 Location: Tokyo, Japan

Stumptowny, your original post mentioned your friends picking up girls, conflating "opposite sex" with "female". You assume that your correspondents will be exclusively male.

You also assume that your audience is hetero - the opposite sex, you said.

Your subject says "success". You mean, success in picking people up? Then my comments are relevant. If you mean success in sustaining a relationship, well, then my comments were flippant. But your initial volley doesn't really go there. You talk about casual relationships, not life long ones.

Maybe if you'd started by asking, "Can you successfully sustain a relationship with your partner without fluency in his/her language?" you'd get better responses from me.

I was just being light hearted, in the recognition that young people starting relationships don't need judgement but some slack while they experiment with relationships across cultural and linguistic lines. It's not hard to meet people. You just have to be yourself, and meet others who are open hearted, and you are good to go.

Did you just call me names? "Douchee"?

Anyway, good luck to all. And just be nice to each other.

nightsintodreams · Joined: 18 May 2010 Posts: 558

Well, I at least was referring to any and all of the above; one night stands, securing a date, going on a date, maintaining a relationship, all of it.

Whatever your goal, of course speaking Japanese is going to help unless you're going for　gaisen sluts, and even then it might well help a bit.

Anyway, personally I don't see what's wrong with casual stuff, if both parties enjoy it then who cares? Live and let live.

Cool Teacher · Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2014 6:18 am Post subject:

rxk22 · Joined: 19 May 2010 Posts: 1629

Big_H · Joined: 21 Dec 2013 Posts: 115

lol depends what you want out of that relationship.

But overall, personality, aesthetics and money trumps all.
Language is necessary just if she's marriage/long-relationship material. I've got alot to say on this, but I'll keep it to myself cause just the thought of it brings a smile to my face smugger than Simon Cowel's.

@TokyoLiz; Give the guys a rest. Being intimidated to go talk to the opposite sex isn't as easy a being the beautiful lady