Job Discussion Forums

[TokyoLiz]

I've been really impressed by the time people have taken to respond to the question. There were lots of insights that make me think about what I'm doing here and what I'm going to do in the future.

I'm a single, obviously foreign-looking woman in my early 30s. I'm well aware that I'm not getting any younger, and my ultimate plan is to settle down with a partner and have the option to have children. I've been here 16 months this time out (I was here in 1999 as a JET), and though I've dated, I haven't made a good connection with any guy, Japanese or foreign, who could be a life partner.

My job is very intense, with demanding students who take their studies seriously and coworkers, both foreign and Japanese, who are really hard-working, intelligent people. The demands of the job, my lack of Japanese fluency and the pervasive outsider/insider culture of Japanese schools is really beginning to wear on me. I know that foreigners go through cycles of culture shock, honeymoon elation, and acceptance of the situation, it's still hard when the downs hit.

The things that keep me here are my martial arts studies, language learning, a few really cool people, both foreign and Japanese, and the ability to save a lot of money despite all the fun stuff I do. Some days I pinch myself because I think I'm so lucky here - training with a martial arts dream team, communicating in another language, working at a job I like and I get paid well for it. Some days I kick myself, though, because I wonder what I'm doing in an environment that is sometimes really hostile to foreigners, especially women, and where my values are in conflict with the culture that I'm living in. I'm still, a year and a half in to my stay, trying to adjust to Japanese culture, maintain my identity as a Canadian woman and adopt the parts of Japanese life that I jive with my values, all the time being firm about rejecting those that don't.

In order to keep perspective and stay happy here, it's important to keep sight of goals. I'm intending to return to Canada to do an education degree. Meanwhile, I feel that my time here in Japan is really valuable. At work I'm learning about curriculum development, teaching strategies for various aspects of English language learning (I teach English literature, composition and EFL), and models of school organization. In the rest of my life, I'm trying to be consistent about martial training, learning Japanese and volunteering occasionally.

I'm sure everybody goes through the periods of adjustment, elation and consternation that I'm going through.

Paulh wrote,

[Sherri]

I admit it, I am the one in my 40s with 2 kids living in Japan. I came here in 1991 and will finally leave in about 2 weeks time. I am looking forward to going so much I can hardly believe that we are actually going to do and do it!

Last night we had our big farewell party. We had all the people there who had been important in our lives for one reason or another. It caused me to do a great deal of reflection. Reflection on why I stayed here so long. I didn't come because of a particular love of Japan, I just wanted to teach and experience a different culture. I stayed mostly because I really enjoyed my job. I learned a lot and met some really great people both Japanese and non-Japanese. At the same time I managed to save quite a lot of money, travel all over southeast Asia, Europe and take the Trans-Siberian. I really should have left about 5 years ago, when the place I was working for changed management due to a near bankruptcy. Then I think another milestone was 3 years ago when my daughter was born, since then my happiness here rapidly declined.

It took a great deal of planning and research to make this move work, but it is worth it (so far anyway!) I feel like a great weight has been lifted and I can really enjoy my life again and have something to look forward to. To the long-term people here who no longer feel happy here, I would like to urge you to take the plunge and start planning your departure. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave. Don't delay. I will certainly keep reading this board and I will let you know how it goes for us. We bought our own business in Hawaii and at the same time I hope to pick up some part time work teaching in the local community college (I have an interview!).

All the best!
Sherri

[homersimpson]

1. How long have you been here and when is your expected pullout date (mine was about 15 years ago) ---> Five years (pullout was 3 years ago)/

2. Is there a Japanese girlfriend in the wings or a prospect of marriage? Sometimes you dont want to be here, sick of teaching etc but you have things stopping you leaving. ---> No.

3. Whats the longest you think you could stay here without leaving the country? (due to not affording a ticket or other circumstances- The longest i was here at one stretch between trips home was two and half years. ---> Done it for a year and a half, but that's probably my limit.

4. How would you feel about being in your forties and fifties and raising kids here? Many of us (not just me but Glenski and Denise I think) are in that position and you really have to like this country, or at least not hate it, or have come to terms with it. When you have family air travel becomes expensive for 3 or 4 people) ---> Not gonna happen.

5. Do you ever sick of your existence as a 'gaijiin', an outsider (not the same as being black or minority in America mind you) and not always feeling you belong to this society, or your feel your life here is defined by it? May be fun when you are twenties and single but when you experience inbuilt discrimination, and it actively inhibits your life here, you know its time to get out (term limits for foreign university professors, lack of right to vote for permanent foreign residents, always feeling marginal etc). Maybe discrimination against your kids becuase they are 'half etc. even though they are born here and Japanese. ---> Yes, I am not one of those in denial who think everything here is glorious. The racism and being an outsider are grinding on the spirit.

6. Could you see yourself, buying a house, retiring , or even dying here? I have at least one foreign friend who died prematurely (in his early 50's) and is buried in Kobe. ---> Nope.

7. I teach great kids too, but those kids leave, get older, graduate etc. After a year or two they become a distant memory and after ten years you feel you have nothing to show for it. Some of the kids I teach now were infants when i first taught in Japan, i had never met them but through my life here I began able to establish some material milestones (not just 'things' but being able to support my kids, pension fund etc. Work is a way of keeping score, but sometimes I wonder if you dont have any regrets down the line. ---> I know what you mean. When my third-year students graduate I will miss them. We entered school together so I've watched them grow up. [/quote]

[Brooks]

small world. I think I know who that teacher who died was, Paul. He used to teach in Osaka, I think. Was it at Huron (a university that went bust)?

to be happy in Japan or anywhere isn`t easy. Happiness needs to come from inside us.
At Japanese schools, I think those that are self - starters do better.
I find that what I teach after school goes better than during the school day, because those students come to class to learn, or they can learn in their club. They don`t come because they have to, they come because they want to.
Teaching English through music, singing and drama works well. The English drama club has gone better than I thought.

I tried to push for classes after school for returnees or for students who want to study abroad back in 2002. This year we started a class for students who will study in Hawaii this summer, and the returnee classes have been going on for over two years now.

I find that the more I put in, the more I get.
Although there are problems at secondary schools, we have to be the change we want to see.

One thing that hasn`t been mentioned is having to work with cynical, greedy, and or lazy teachers. This is what I find most annoying.
I get tired of hearing about teachers talking about money.
I became a teacher not to get rich, but to help students learn.

[PAULH]

[Brooks]

my mistake. I was thinking of William Karkavelas, who used to teach at Osaka University.

[AgentMulderUK]

How to be happy in Japan?

Dunno, freeze yourself in liquid nitrogen?

Is that the right answer......?

[skarp]

I think this thread has run it's course.

I have the information I wanted anyway.

To sum up - it's as problematic to be happy in Japan as most places. Some manage it - some don't. Same everywhere.

I'm off tomorrow to give it a shot. It's my best option as things stand.

I'll let you all know how I get on.


Thanks to all who've chipped in with advice.

Skarp