Job Discussion Forums

[HeadwayPlus]

Since everyone in this forum is relating their experiences connected to working in Kuwait. I’m compelled to contribute my particular experience working at TQLS.

In the 16 years as an EFL Instructor I have worked in 5 different cultures and with English speaking people from all over the world. In all that time I worked harmoniously with the natives of the cultures I worked in as well as the people I worked with. Any misunderstandings were slight and easily and quickly resolved. At TQLS I worked in an office of 5 other teachers; 4 of us were native English speakers and 2 Arabic/English speakers. All 6 of us were within a few years of the same age in our 50’s. The three English native speakers , all of the same nationality, were not only the dominate group, but also very domineering. They made it very clear at the onset; they owned the room. They immediately deemed my easy going manner and casualness as rude. Judgmental tidbits were openly floated around the room among them speaking over my head even while I was still in the room. Apparently they not only thought I didn’t hear them; they must have also assumed I was stupid.
Within the first few weeks I learned that I couldn’t say anything that the other native speakers disagreed with. The dominant male of the group, the “King”, a man with an air of authority, would immediately get very defensive and upset if anyone questioned what he said, to the point where he went to the project manager to have her apologize to me on his behalf for his outburst. I got one of them upset, merely on a difference of opinion. This was soon followed by a bus incident. Typically when someone was a bit late for the morning bus, everyone would patiently wait for the few minutes for all to arrive. No issue; no problem. No one was ever late for work. When I was a bit late for the bus however, I was told in a very disparaging manner by the “King”, how inconsiderate and disrespectful I was to everyone on the bus for keeping everyone waiting. Now why was I singularly told this and in such a nasty manner when others who were a bit late were told nothing? Already, very early on in my employment at this office the “tone” was set . “Don’t upset these people in anyway!”

When we had a few months of non-teaching time, we were assigned to write assessment papers for all levels. I asked all the other teachers how they were approaching the tests, to get a perspective and also to show respect for their experience. When we completed them we had the task of checking and revising them. It amazed me what an utter hack job my other colleagues actually did. For a group of people who came across as such sophisticated, all knowing people and demanding so much respect, it was unbelievable how they could have botched up such a task so badly. Even the Arabic teachers shook their heads in amazement. There were so many glaring mistakes, inconsistencies and omissions that it became quickly obvious they really didn’t know what they were doing. At that point I became more assertive, because I DID know what I was doing. You need to change this, I said, you need to test the students on that, you need to add this. It was all ignored. I was being contentious and forceful because I WASN’T BEING HEARD….. Dismissively, I was told “you can’t include everything” .

Any professional would have completely overhauled those tests but they were passed with minor band aid surgery. The tests I did with one of the Arabic teachers and an entire level I did myself required only minor revisions. Never throughout was an individual singled out and criticized. The tests were scrutinized for form and content which we were required to do. The message here was…….don’t criticize anything the native English speakers did……and challenging them in any way , was considered “disrespectful”……I was told to “Shut up and listen!”
This was the reality of being under the “rule”, of a group of teachers who not only thought they were superior to me, but felt they had the authority to rule me as well. A judgment was passed with everything I said and did. I constantly had to defer to these colleagues who consistently dismissed me or talked down to me. Everything became a “How dare you….” scenario. They were entitled to forcefully …..even disparagingly assert themselves over me but when I asserted myself I was accused of having a tone and was immediately cut down. But of course it was perfectly acceptable for them to have a tone…..and an attitude. Every little thing….petty things were used against me. Just by plugging in a CD player ….that wasn’t even turned on and leaving the room for a minute became a contentious issue, accusing me of being inconsiderate and disrespectful. I wasn’t even given a chance to understand what the problem was, and I got an immediate judgment and a disparagement of my character. Everything I did and said was immediately twisted into something negative. How dare I make a simple request without prefixing it with “May I….. your royal highness”. A completely innocent and casual statement about repeating something I had just said to another teacher , was characterized as “extremely rude” for which I was verbally attacked, developing into an all out brawl with the 2 male teachers. But of course telling me to “Shut up and listen” a few days earlier wasn’t considered rude. How dare I question them and assert myself. Throughout my time there, I was seen and treated as something less than themselves. I needed to be “put in my place”. To be talked down to by these arrogant people was extremely offensive. I have never been one to make waves so I just deferred; numbed with insult. These people, so self righteous and judgmental in their approach of me, and so critical of “wasta” that is so prevalent in Kuwait, used their group influence to keep me subservient. It was 3 of them against me. And when I reported this abuse to management, I was again treated just as dismissively. It took 4 months just to get an acknowledgement of my complaint. It was assumed by management, that their expats could do no wrong.

My purpose in writing this is to highlight this phenomenon of group ARROGANCE and the perceived power it gives. Right at the very beginning of my employment, because I wasn’t “like” these people, I was judged to be something less than them and hence they felt they were justified in approaching me in a disparaging and nasty manner. Never did I say anything bad to these people to their face nor behind their backs. Merely my easy going casualness was considered as rude and disrespectful. It was really those people, in their intolerance, and self righteous, judgmental arrogance and disparaging nasty approach, which were ultimately rude and disrespectful. It is those who hold themselves above others ; elevating themselves by diminishing others, who are disrespectful. No company should ever assume that their own co-patriots are the virtuous and righteous ones. Once you get a group of the same clique together, and they get the sense of dominance and power, then you have a dangerous mix. What I experienced in this office among 6 people is a microcosm of what is happening in the Middle East today. It is arrogance how dictators rise to power and it is arrogance why dictators stay in power. It is arrogance why religion is used against those who do not conform to a certain belief. Arrogance suppresses people. Arrogance should never be tolerated.

[CVN-76]

That's quite a post Headway. I'd probably be a bit skeptical about it all if I hadn't worked in the Middle East before, but I have worked there, where I encountered the entrenched large-types playing the role, so I believe it completely. Entrenched teachers at a well-paying employer can make a job a complete drag, and too often do. These guys at your outfit, and others out there like them that we encounter all too frequently, have taken up 'last stand' positions and are protecting those positions at any cost. Complete losers back home, they will do whatever it takes to remain where they are so they don't have to go back home, including resorting to intimidation, outright bullying, and even violence to maintain job security. They know whom to flatter to make themselves look good and whom to kick down to protect themselves from threats. Some of those I saw out in the TESOL jungle were hiding things they didn't want anyone to discover, such as their vices and teacher-cheating practices in the classroom. The new guys who came along whom they believed would discover what they were up to quickly became their targets. It's too bad we have to encounter these guys. I never ran into any of the large types in places like Thailand. Only in the better-paying places did I see these creatures.

[EFL Educator]

I understand from several colleagues of mine currently teaching in Kuwait that this is the norm for many EFL work sites...the KING wants to be King so he can keep his job.....so what happens when you have so many EFL kings in one room...they KING together and eat up anything or anyone below them. EFL KINGS just like cats are everywhere to be found...especially in the GULF because it pays well....without that they would just be given a basic teaching salary...or nothing at all....and YES if/when they return to their home countries they are a NOBODY....just another face in the crowd! This is simply called EFL human nature aka manure!!!

[CVN-76]

PS--I'll add to my above post here.

First, Headway, I'd like to thank you for that post. But I'll also have to ask you if you read all the red-flag warning posts and threads about that employer here before accepting a job there. There was plenty of writing on the TQLS wall, my man.

Secondly, I'll say that a lot of those entrenched large-types partake in vices and need higher-paying jobs that also allow them to be drunks (common) or dope addicts (rare). They could never hold any kind of halfway-decent job back home AND partake in their vices, so they end up in places like the Middle East teaching English. And, man, the lengths they will go to protect their bar stools. And I'm talking about a region where alcohol is frowned upon or is even illegal, a region where teachers have converted to Islam for job security just so they can keep jobs that allow them to remain drunks. Think it's absurd? Think again.

Third, know that if you follow behind these cats who are giving you grief, Headway, you'll discover they probably aren't that great as far as teaching goes. Next term if / when you inherit their students, you'll see. All their supposed superiority they like to believe they have is nothing but smoke and lights. Trust me on this. They will be exposed as phonies when you discover the students who passed their classes with flying colors last term know about as much as they did when they started those classes. But by then your adversaries may have driven you out with their tactics. They know these tactics work, and forming small cliques, Siamese-triplet style in this case, bent on intimidation in wolf-pack fashion, is their strategy to get rid of threats to their positions. Never will they cross each other or question each other, as they care about their own job security and nothing else. If they are able to tell a teacher out in the open to 'shut up', they have lots of experience at their game-playing and know they can get away with it. I wonder if they would resort to violence? If I were you, I'd talk to the FBI or Interpol in KC or in Muscat. It's a shame we have to have the federal law enforcement authorities on speed dial or be 5th-degree black belts at these jobs, but it is what it is. Take it or leave it. Lots of teachers leave it before putting up with large-types who have no reason to be belligerent outside of job preservation at others' expense.

Finally, I'll comment on the lack of unity, of which this situation is a prime example. You are sitting there in a meeting, you speak up to contribute, and you get shut down in a way that can be called 'bullying', set upon by a small minority that has gotten away with such behavior for far too long, more than likely. This is because your colleagues, and the colleagues of these entrenched teachers' previous 'targets', have all simply sat there like apathetic automatons, allowing a teacher to be harassed for no reason. If your colleagues would ally with you and speak up in your defense, if all teachers would speak up against this sort of thing wherever it appears, the large-types would grow quiet...and they may even disappear. Imagine that. Unfortunately, we can only imagine it, as teachers as a whole are too apathetic to come to the aid of a fellow teacher. True unity among the majority? Good luck finding that out there in the jungle. There are advantages to being unified. More professionalism, a safer, more pleasant workplace, and higher salaries can all be had if teachers came together in some kind of unified front. I'm not calling for a grandiose union, just common-sense decency instead of apathy and just accepting what is.

Good luck, Headway. May your next gig be free of entrenched large-type assholes, leeches that need to disappear from the profession.

[HeadwayPlus]

Response:
I appreciate all of the reactions. As I said at the beginning of my post what I encountered at this company could have happened at any company. For a company to condone arrogant nasty behavior in their own expats is where it becomes a company issue. And yes I have had my share of those who go to Thailand 2-3 times a year, fly here and there to visit their various girlfriends, or fly to Bahrain every other weekend to liquor up. They are actually the easiest to deal with because they don’t generally have any other pretensions. But those 3 teachers that I encountered at this office were a different breed of animal altogether. They were not the typical foreign workers I encountered elsewhere. Even though we all were from different countries …4 of us from Western countries and 2 from Arab countries, THEY believed themselves to be superior, more important and having ultimate authority and were very quick to slap me in the face to prove it. Even when they were wrong, they HAD to be right. Questioning them and challenging them was considered disrespectful. Never mind that they were even qualified or competent teachers ; they were superior merely for who they were. And as one of you stated “ They know whom to flatter to make themselves look good and whom to kick down to protect themselves from threats.” ……..was very true and easy for them to do because all the upper management was of the same nationality, so automatically they had management’s ear. They could do absolutely no wrong. I’m one of the easiest people to get along with that I know, I would find it a preposterous notion for anyone to suggest that I was any kind of threat. But that is exactly what it adds up to. I did a professional job at this company, yet when I did something better than they, proved that I was more qualified than them, instead of showing me respect, I was talked down to, openly disparaged over the slightest thing and approached in a very nasty manner. I was a threat to their sovereignty. It is for this reason I also sent a letter to the director of TQLS outlining why any company working in a foreign country shouldn’t just assume that their nationals are the virtuous and righteous ones…..and competent ones. I agree that, these are probably the very same people who are nobodies in their home countries and see foreigners coming into their countries as a threat and blame their country’s social woes on them, so they go to work in a foreign country and exert their power over other foreigners they couldn’t at home. It is these people, with their oversized egos and “we rule the world” mentality; people who think it is their place to put other’s in their place, that is the real threat.

The second reason I posted this experience was out of regret. I was discouraged by management not to lodge a formal complaint requiring action on the part of the company because it would entail an investigation , interviews and basically “disrupt the smooth running of the company” and that it would all be more trouble than it was worth…..In other words I wasn’t worth it….so why rock the boat….just let it go. I could get in trouble. This was the mind set of these people …..always valuing themselves above me and making me feel as someone less than themselves and undeserving of the same respect and dignity they demanded for themselves. Well…….time has brought clarity to this situation. Allowing myself to be demeaned and devalued by these people was my biggest mistake. I regret that I wasn’t strong enough to bring these arrogant people to account for their arrogant attitude and abusive manner and that is why I am now laying it bare here to tell others not to be taken in by these bullying tactics. FIGHT BACK! Such people should be ……must be outed and exposed and treated just as harshly as those they bully and suppress. I want to tell everyone…novice and the experienced alike , never, never tolerate people that demand respect and then make you feel less than they by demeaning you and disparaging you to exert power over you . Having to talk up to someone and bow down to someone isn’t showing respect, that is showing subservience. “My place” in this company was to be subservient. Such people should be reported to the highest level of the company they work for and shamed out of their jobs. They needed someone to put THEM in their place. And I thoroughly regret that I wasn’t strong enough to do just that. I experienced Daesh in this office before Daesh even existed.

People who see those who are different from themselves only in negative terms and justify disparaging and demeaning those who do not bow to them, are the ones who don’t deserve respect. People who assume that only THEY are the righteous ones, beat down others who do not agree with them and slap a fellow human being in the face to get respect are people who should never be tolerated because by getting away with such behavior , THEY will just continue their egocentric maniacal behavior to bully others elsewhere. And we wonder why we have terrorists in our countries?