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Gamajorba · Joined: 03 May 2015 Posts: 357

So, it seems many of you are pretty experienced and have taught across the globe. And there's no doubt that some of you have had some pretty wacky (or even really sad) excuses for various things. Here's a few of mine:

1) *student walks in after being in the 'bathroom' for 15 minutes, class of 2, start of hour 3 of 6*
"Where have you been?"
"I've got an excuse to leave"
"What excuse?"
"I have to go to the bank"
"They let you have that excuse?!"
"Yes, see you tomorrow inshallah"

2) "Teacher, I'm sorry I haven't been to class recently, the doctors told me I had cancer" - he was very serious about this as well

3) "Teacher, I want to leave"
"Why?"
"I'm hungry"
"So am I, I've been working and travelling for 10 hours, but I can't leave early"

4) "Teacher can you help me?"
"Sure, what's the problem?"
"I am very busy at work, and haven't done my presentations"
"OK, so, try and find time to do them"
"OK teacher, so you can do them for me?"
"No."

And so on...what are your stories?

MuscatGary · Posted: Tue May 26, 2015 8:22 am Post subject: Re: Students excuses

Gamajorba · Joined: 03 May 2015 Posts: 357

peripatetic_soul · Joined: 20 Oct 2013 Posts: 303

Some gems from the girls at college in UAE (note: "miss" pronounced as "mees"):

*Miss, maid not clean my abaya. No nice clothes for class.

*Miss, taxi no come. I no drive. I back home.

*Miss, sister get married. I must shopping in Dubai.

*Miss, have stomag [sic] bain [sic]

*Miss, I bored. Watch tv in home. Like horror film.

*Miss, brother go to KFC and no come for me so I no come to class.

These were entered on the absence portal by "level 3" (intermediate) students at Student Services! Comic relief! ha They were accepted as LEGITIMATE excuses. I'm sure you've heard this one with male students who did not appear for exams and were off to McD's or KFC in their spots car: "I sleeping late."

I'm sure many of you have similar gems to share.

Regards,
PS

MuscatGary · Posted: Wed May 27, 2015 1:03 am Post subject:

My personal favourite was a doctor's certficate stating:

'This patient attended my clinic today and was diagnosed with runny nose.'

esl_prof · Posted: Wed May 27, 2015 2:38 am Post subject:

This is not unlike many a tedious conversation that I've had with students:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GQkOz5wbFE

Mr. Leafy · Joined: 24 Apr 2012 Posts: 246 Location: North of the Wall

"I did my homework but it changed to another form of matter. The physics teacher said this could happen."

From a high school student in a study abroad prep stream.

nomad soul · Joined: 31 Jan 2010 Posts: 11454 Location: The real world

Knedliki · Joined: 08 May 2015 Posts: 160

The class monitor of one of my Chinese university writing classes never used to turn up as he was the departmental head's pet.
Every week I would ask where he was and the class in a loud giggling chorus would reply.
He has something important to do.

He turned up for the final exam and blatantly copied off the girl sat next to him. I was told by the head to pass him Exclamation

Gamajorba · Joined: 03 May 2015 Posts: 357

"Teacher I need go office for excuse from officer"
"What excuse?"
"I'm busy"

This was an acceptable, legit excuse for a student to leave class after 2/6 hours...

esl_prof · Posted: Fri May 29, 2015 2:59 pm Post subject:

A few years ago, one of my students simply vanished about mid-November. Just quit attending class. Didn't return for the whole entire semester.

The week after Christmas break, my department chair informed me that she had stopped by his office to find out if she could still make-up the final exam for the course which, according to her, she had missed due to a funeral. Also, she had attempted to contact me by e-mail, but hadn't received any response.

So I checked the online course shell (which I never look at during school breaks. Instead, I ask students to contact me via the regular college e-mail if they need to get in touch over the break.) and, lo and behold, she had sent me an e-mail via the CMS at 7:00am on Christmas morning asking if she could still make up the exam.

Of course, even had she aced the exam with 100%, she was missing so much other work that she still would not have come close to passing the class. Needless to say, my chair told her that she would need to repeat the class.

AGoodStory · Joined: 26 Feb 2010 Posts: 738

One of my favorites:

"Take too much time come to class. Need stay home for time to study for class."

Well, yeah . . .if a student is going to skip my class, studying for it seems like a great use of her time. How could I possibly object? Laughing

.

Gamajorba · Joined: 03 May 2015 Posts: 357

One of my biggest bug bearers:

Me - 'Where's your pen/pencil?'
Student - 'Don't have one'
Me - 'Why?'
Student 'I forget it'

And this discussion happens most days with adult students...*facepalm*

In the heat of the moment · Joined: 22 May 2015 Posts: 393 Location: Italy

"I can't come in Thursday, teacher. Wife in hospital...mumble...mumble..baby."

"Again?"

"No, same same."

Trina Marlow · Joined: 28 Apr 2014 Posts: 50

My mother made me give my dog away and I haven’t stopped crying for three days.

A drug lord burned our house down.

My little sister locked me in my closet.