Job Discussion Forums

[fluffyhamster]

Mine must've been when working for EF in Shanghai back in '96, when they were first setting up in China. All the teachers, foreign and Chinese (dozens of 'em!) alike, had been asked to attend a formal dinner laid on for a visit from Bertil Hult, the founder and then-CEO of the company.

The event took place down near the Waitan (Bund) in some faded club or quasi-hotel that now had one of its function rooms housing an indoor mini golf course. As if that wasn't surreal enough, the dinner, once we'd been ushered into another wooden-panelled function room but serving as a dining room rather than a golf course, consisted of nothing more than a ladle of essentially watered-down baked beans on a plate, which we were informed was a traditional Swedish dish. Bon appétit!

The pièce de résistance however was Hult's speech, which channelled Roy Batty of Blade Runner, but with little of the poetry. The apparently key point (well, what's stuck in my mind) went something like this:

"As CEO of EF I've been fortunate to travel the world and see things some people wouldn't believe. Been attacked by franchises on fire off the shores of the Pujiang. Watched gold bullion glitter in the dark of a Swiss bank account. What I remember most though is meeting a girl whose father had blinded her in both eyes with a cigar..."

At this point, and as as Hult continued to rhapsodize about the horror he'd witnessed, I blinked then took a quick glance around at my colleagues, one of whom was a fellow Brit, who didn't mince words but also had a GSOH. He looked absolutely aghast. Maybe the baked beans were beginning to disagree with him. Hard to quite put a finger on it.

After the dinner Mr H departed back to his doubtless swanky hotel suite, and the somewhat lower brass took everyone to a more convivial bar recommended by some of the Chinese teachers to drown our sorrows. We needed to, after that! What a weird evening.

[LongShiKong]

Ok, Fluff, I'll be your huckleberry.

The 'watered-down beans' were probably the Shanghai rendition of Eight Treasure Porridge (八宝粥) altered, perhaps to match the appearance of the Swiss dish. I'm surprised they served them to you on a plate---probably ran out of clean bowls, or perhaps that's what the pic the chef found on Baidu shows, possibly served alongside a juicy sirloin steak or veal cutlet, mashed potatoes, salad, etc.

As for the mini-golf, the first (private) school I worked at in China came complete with an elaborate roof-top mini-golf and bar. Incidentally, there seemed to be an EF across the street---there was a sign at least, but none of my 8 foreign colleagues ever mentioned it and I don't ever recall seeing foreigners enter or leave the building. I didn't even realize EF was a multinational at the time.

So, what's my most surreal experience? Perhaps working for a former EF franchise owner who, as I subsequently learned, after mismanaging an EF out of existence, left Xi'an and the brand to repeat the cycle elsewhere. What prolonged the process was replacing her first manager with the most competent Chinese manager/teacher/teacher trainer I'd ever worked with just days before official opening and my arrival. Our only real competition happened to be an EF with contented staff--almost all were resigning contracts. We started with with just me and 30 students, and 12 mostly empty classrooms but by year's end we had 4 staff and a few hundred students---still far below what was needed to pay the bills I imagine. Not surprisingly, the franchisee couldn't leave well enough alone and within a year, was back to meddling with the day-to-day running of the school which ticked everybody off and as I argued to head office, violated not only the terms of our individual contracts, but her franchise licence. Head office wisely refrained from acting. As a result, morale dropped, and we all left.

[LongShiKong]

How surreal is the Brexit, just 18 mo's after the Sexit?

[fluffyhamster]

The Current Affairs forum is thataway. I'll just ask though, what's Sexit? Sounds messy!

It definitely wasn't a congee, just like I say baked beans on a plate. It was the Swedes themselves, not the "chefs", who said it was a traditional Swedish dish. Food must be scarce up around the Arctic circle. I lived in Shanghai for almost two years and never saw it served anywhere else than at that EF dinner. I reckon Hult brought in a dozen or so jumbo budget cans that afternoon and said here, this'll do my employees, and don't be afraid to spit and hawk in it if it gets too watery. Yum yum.

[LongShiKong]

[fluffyhamster]

I guessed that's what you meant, but as there wasn't actually a Sexit (from the UK if not then by default from the EU: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_independence_referendum,_2014#European_Union ), it seems a bit strange to be calling it that without any modification.

And again, the Current Affairs forum seems more the place to discuss political stuff. All I'll say here is that even if there is a Brexit (which is hardly a done deal, with the European neoliberal hegemony option appearing from the polls still slightly more attractive to the actual majority than the Tory neoliberal hegemony one, not that that's much of a choice admittedly!), I'm not sure it will be that surreal in the wider context of economic desolation, constant warfare, mass migrations, etc etc etc.

[Xie Lin]

[In the heat of the moment]

2007. Travelling on a sleeping bus from Hanoi to Kunming, in a ferocious, tropical thunderstorm in the mountains, when the bus caught fire. Having to disembark and wait for a replacement, which was too small and being shouted at by a border guard because I was in the wrong seat, then sleeping on a wooden pallet that was rested on the wheel arch. I was the only laowai and nobody spoke a word of English.

After a long bus journey which turned into an even longer one, 26 hours or so, I disembarked to find about 20,000 people in Kunming also wanting to take a train. I was ushered through, being a big-nosed, very white, non Mandarin-speaking idiot, past the 20 queues each containing about 200 Chinese people, to the 'executive' lane with two guys in military uniforms. My then boss spoke to the cashier (via my phone) and told me the next seat was available in two weeks. And that I should get a flight.

I exited the bus station and went to a stand to buy a pack of cigarettes. The seller seemed to understand a bit of English, so I asked him, stutteringly, "Er, sorry I don't speak Chinese. Would you know where I can book a flight??"

"Yes, go down that road and it's on your right, about 200 metres."

I found it in no time at all. After I asked about a fight the sales assistant asked if I'd like a seat that evening or the next morning. Oh, is there a hotel I can rest in because I'm knackered? Yes, down the road, 30 metres on your right.

After I booked the flight, the assistant took me to the ATM and then pointed out the hotel. The hotel asked where I'd been - "Vietnam" - and offered me a room for $12. I slept well and the flight had no problems.

It was so surreal I found it quite fun, and mad.

[Knedliki]

Did a similar journey the other way. A sleeper bus from Kunming to Laos . It was advertised as 16 hours but turned into 40 hours!
I think it was one of the unlicensed buses that has to zigzag around all the back roads to avoid the road tolls. A few times they would stop in the middle of nowhere for three or four hours then somebody would arrive with some boxes or sacks of food and off we'd go again.
In a very remote area I was looking out of the window and there was a young white guy walking on the road, he had no shoes and just a small hessian bag and Thai dye trousers and shirt. He looked like a ghost walking up the road.