Job Discussion Forums

alonzo9772 · Joined: 23 Sep 2016 Posts: 55

I am about to begin my ESL career. Currently, my plan is to switch back-and-forth between working in Chinese language centers and Korean hagwons for about five years. During the middle of that, I will earn the CELTA certificate. Following, once I build up my CV and have the certificate, I will try to get a job in a Chinese university.

Anyway, back to my original question. How do you handle the fact that the other foreign teachers and co-teachers that you meet during the career can be there one day then leave and go off to work in another country the next day? I am already saddened by the fact that it will happen where I become very attached to someone then one day I see the person packing his/her luggage and tell me "Alonzo...I got accepted for the university job in Kazakhstan. I couldn't turn it down. I am heading off to the airport right now." Have any of you experienced something similar to that?

santi84 · Joined: 14 Mar 2008 Posts: 1317 Location: under da sea

A job is a job, don't get too wrapped up in coworkers. As you get older, a few long-term friendships will form and you get used to distance communication. Marriage, kids, retirement life events will make and break more. It's natural and especially common for nomad teachers.

SammytheSlug · Joined: 23 Nov 2016 Posts: 6

You just accept it.

Some teachers never bother that much trying to become friends with colleagues due to how often people come and go. I think that's the wrong approach.

Just take things as you would at home. You'll meet some people you instantly get on with, others you take a while to warm to, some you can't stand. Of those, some will eventually become friends. Then you'll both move to different countries. At that point, you'll lose touch with some people. Others will remain in touch. Some will exchange visits or meet up on trips home etc.

You settle into a rhythm where your friendships with different people are conducted in a different way. You'll get used to your best mates living all over the world.

That's the life we have chosen. Embrace it.

OhBudPowellWhereArtThou · Joined: 02 Jun 2015 Posts: 1168 Location: Since 2003

Many of the people you meet won't be moving vertically, and some may not even be leaving of their own accord.

You'll even be glad to see some of them go.

As was stated before, most FTs don't get too close to other FTs. There's a reason for it.

cartago · Joined: 19 Oct 2005 Posts: 283 Location: Iraq

It's sad but at least you can still stay in touch through email and Facebook.

spiral78 · Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 11534 Location: On a Short Leash

I think that other expats are most people's first friends, but as you are around longer, it becomes easier to be friends with locals and other long-term expats.

santi84 · Joined: 14 Mar 2008 Posts: 1317 Location: under da sea

Befriending locals has always been more fun for me, I prefer to avoid coworker friendships. The exception was in the middle East, where local friendships are basically a no-go..

reblair79 · Joined: 15 Jan 2016 Posts: 103

If you are not already, you would need to learn to be happy within your own company and not be dependent on others being around you, I would imagine. I spent a few years in the forces and very strong bonds were built with people - then they could get reposted to another ship very quickly with hardly the chance to say goodbye. I personally love making new friends and building relationships but I don't get too upset when they end as at the end of the day, I am number one and my happiness depends on my own perspectives and mind-set. It is not dependent on those around me. I will be starting my teaching career next year and after my CELTA and I expect much the same to happen as in the forces.

cartago · Joined: 19 Oct 2005 Posts: 283 Location: Iraq

Strange I live in the Middle East and I find it very easy to make friends here but I suppose it depends on the part of the Middle East where you live.