Job Discussion Forums

[small_human]

I'm currently experiencing a relationship dissolution. I met a nice lady when I was in Japan and we have been a solid couple for three years. After three years of living in Tokyo and working a monotonous teaching job (eikawa) I felt it was time to leave Japan, to move on and experience other (hopefully better) places and jobs.

It was no easy task leaving her behind. Neither of us wanted to give up on the relationship and agreed to make an effort to stick together and see each other in our respective countries as often as possible. We've done pretty well for the last six months (many calls, one visit) but I'm starting to feel the strain.

Our next chance to be together would have been now except that suddenly she had to attend a company trip during her vacation time. So that pushes the next window of opportunity back to next year and I find myself for the first time wondering how much longer we can and will carry on like this.

I'm sure many of you have experienced this before and I was interested to hear about your experiences. What happened? Did you persevere or accept that it was 'logistically challenging' and give up?

I welcome any comments, suggestions, advice or criticism.

Regards,

S.Human

[Hondo 2.0]

Here's my story for you.

I was with my girlfriend for a little over a year when I went back to Canada. She stayed in Japan and worked. Over the next fourteen months, I visited her once. We didn't talk on the phone very much because it was so expensive, but we did send each other lots of letters and small gift packages.
Our seperation ended when I went back to Japan last summer. We got married, and put together her application for permanent residence in Canada. At the end of the summer, I came back to Canada to attend school. She followed three months later. We lived together in Canada for six months. She went back to Japan for the summer to visit her family and work while we waited for her visa to be processed.
She's been sick, and is scheduled for surgery in September. She'll be back with me at the beginning of October.
I think one of the things that has helped us survive our periodic seperations has been that we always knew how long it was going to last.

Royce Gracie once defended his family's view on time limits by making a comparison with being dropped in the sea. If you leave someone floating in the ocean, and tell them that you'll be back for them in 24 hours, they'll probably hang on and survive. If you just drop them, and don't tell them when or if you're coming back, most people won't survive an hour.

Good luck, bro. Think about how you're going to feel about this in twenty years.

[Sekhmet]

I know how that feels. I left my long-term boyfriend in England when I came out to Egypt. Ok, so I've only been here for 2 months so far, but it's not easy!! Given that my last long-distance relationship (the whole length of England) didn't work out, I have to admit I'm none too hopeful about this one...
But don't give up - if it's meant to survive, it will!!! Just don't expect too much...
Goold luck!!!!!!

[Lynn]

I had a long distance relation ship for many years. I met him the first day of college; just 2 days after my 18th birthday. At age 29 we finally got married.

[El Llama]

Long distance love is fine if you've a giant c*ck.

Sorry, just come from the "sick jokes" thread

[small_human]

Well...

Honda 2.0, interesting Royce Gracie quote and very appropriate to the situation. I hope your wife will be OK after her surgery.

The situation between my girlfriend and I has deteriorated further since I posted this message, simply from lack of communication. The choice for me is simple; go back to Japan or let the relationship fade out.

She won't come here because she doesn't want to leave her job and I don't blame her. She worked hard to get it.

There's nothing else to do but accept that our relationship has reached a limit and is coming to a natural end. There's no hostility or hard feelings between us about it, it just seems a strangely anti-climactic end to an intense (for better and worse) three year bond.

Oh, and in regards to the international intimacy that El Llama mentioned, there's a reason why my name is SMALL_human

[Bindair Dundat]

[foster]

Sorry to hear that the relationship fizzled out. Lack of communication will do that in time, whether you are in the same country or not.

I am trying to have one now and finding it difficult, but, as stated in a previous post, we do know when we will see each other again. I am heading there for 5 days at the end of the month. Perhaps a bit excessive, but I want this to work, so I am willing to make the 8+ hour flight and see him.