Job Discussion Forums

[spiral78]

What would your decision be?

[denise]

Reminds me of something I read in Armistead Maupin's "Tales of the City"--you can have a great job, a great apartment (or house??), or a great relationship, but you can never have all three at the same time. Maybe two at a time is OK?

I can't answer your poll, because I want it all!!!!! Seriously, I think about it a lot. I love my job and the EFL lifestyle, but if I ever want a Man, I might have to make some sacrifices and settle someplace where Western women aren't reviled. Maybe the US would be a good choice.

d

[Cardinal Synn]

I had all three...for about a month, once.
I too am struggling with your poll. I think I'd prefer the great relationship more than the other, but I fear the relationship might suffer if I didn't have a decent job, so it's a tricky one. For me.

[Atlas]

great relationship.

with that kind of support, all things are possible.

Living in one's idea of perfection is not as great as living outside of that definition.

[Chris_Crossley]

I am lucky in that I have all three at the moment - I have a very good job at the primary school, at which I have been teaching for almost two full semesters, a great wife, a nice (but demanding!) baby daughter, and a very nice place to live - that is, the apartment of my parents-in-law.

I therefore cannot answer the poll, considering that it offers only two choices like some mathematical thing I learned over 20 years ago - either A but not B or B but not A. For my wife and I, it is important that we both have A AND B AND C, but, at the same time, we are being realistic. We both have good jobs that earn good salaries (my wife has even just had a bonus equal to double her monthly salary - lucky thing! ), yet we also want to make sure that we are ready to provide the means for a good education for our daughter.

I spoke to my mother last night on the phone, and she believes that we certainly need to decide what is best for the whole family and not just do anything for the sake of it. If it means our remaining in China for the foreseeable future, whether for another year or even for a few more until our little one reaches the age at which she will start going to primary school, so be it, she believes. And she is absolutely right, my wife says.

I had told her that I was contemplating returning to the UK to get a full-time job from next September (2005) after teaching in China for just over 3 1/2 years (by next summer), but she says that I ought to give serious thought to remaining here in China for as long as it is advantageous to the family to do so. If we are onto a good thing, she says, there should be no real need to change it yet. I guess that, at the moment, I cannot dispute that observation.

[cujobytes]

Except for the fact that I have all three at the moment I would choose the first.

[thelmadatter]

I made the choice to put career on hold for family reasons... so here I am, 40 years old, divorced little money and have a LOT of catching up to do if I dont want to wind up on the streets when I am an old woman.

Hate to be depressing but I think too many of us women make terrible decisons for ourselves thinking that others will take care of us if we make the right sacrifices..

[spiral78]

Thanks, everybody, for your considered answers to the poll. I agree, it's sort of a no-win situation - and whyshouldn't we have it all??!!

But the choice is relevant for some of us.................

I guess there has to be some balance between the risk involved in postponing your career goals and being committed to a great relationship.
Maybe it's really all in the timing - when you're younger, you've got more leeway.

[nolefan]

I'm lucky enough to have both but it would be number one without hesitation if there ever was a time to choose. My wife knows that. We both understand and want the same things most of the time so it has never been an issue.

[juststeven]

Thelmadatter,
You will NEVER end up on the streets; you're too strong!