Job Discussion Forums

shmooj · Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 1758 Location: Seoul, ROK

I've never lived anywhere for more than four years at a time in my life with one exception. That exception is a small town in Japan where I lived for six. In all this time, the idea of not being able to answer the question "Where are you from?" didn't strike me as strange. In fact, when I married my wife, who had moved once in her life: down the road in the same village in the UK, I'd never been confronted with global stability.

Now my wife has hopped on the global mobility bandwagon and has visited about 20 countries in the last ten years of our marriage. But being married to her has raised some interesting questions for me about life conducted as a nomad.

How are we to spend our holidays for example? Are we obliged to return annually and spend two crazy weeks packing in all the friends and relatives? What about sending Christmas presents, birthday presents? What about the education of children? What about dealing with the eternal presumption that we are not mature until we 'settle down'?

Some of these issues have jumped up and bitten us in the leg in recent years. I guess they get more acute the older you get. Personally though, I feel that the globally mobile lifestyle is becoming not only possible but more common and socially acceptable.

Interestingly, this mirrors original human societies that were nomadic in any case. Stability and being able to live in one place only became possible once agriculture had lightened the hunter/gatherer's burden. It's like civilisation has turned full circle.

As TESOL teachers, how has nomadicity affected you?

Tamara · Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 108

Do you notice that the pressures to settle down, or at least visit more often come with having kids and the grandparents putting on guilt trips about not seeing them? I'll be of no help in answering you other questions, so I've added one of my own. It's an issue I'm facing soon. Before, when I thought about teaching overseas, it was as a single. When I met my husband, I stopped looking for overseas appointments, though I was in the midst of applying for the JET program (or something similar). We didn't set off to have kids, so I still kept the idea in the back of my mind. When the little one came, however, I thought all hopes of teaching abroad were dashed. It's still a wonder to me that my dh is being so supportive now that we're on a two year countdown to finding a position overseas, but taking the little one away from grandparents, aunts/unlces, and cousin(s) poses a totally new concept of leaving home than I ever imagined before. Maybe you've got experience with this?

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

Great topic!
Tamara, I can answer that for you. It is not easy to have young children and live overseas. My wife and I brought our 6 month old to Japan with much protests from our families. She's now 3 and we have another who will be born in 2 months. We've been home each summer and the pressure to return is great. This coming summer will be tough as we are "expected" to at least visit. However, a visit costs about $6000 for the airfare alone. Every phone call seems to have "so will this be your last year?" somewhere in the conversation. It is not easy, but my wife and I are united in that we like this lifestyle and perhaps selfishly, do not want to go back to Canada any time soon for our family's sake. Your ties do sever slowly over time as it does get a little easier to be away.

I never thought of this lifestyle as nomadicity (a word?). How have others felt about guilt trips about being away so long, missing important milestones and events from your home country? I find it interesting that we are the ones who are expected to keep the relationship going with emails and phone calls, and those back home don't seem to work at it so much.
Last week I was at a friend's house and I noticed they had about 20-25 Christmas cards up around the living room. I said I can tell this is your first year abroad as there are so many cards. In a few years, there may only be 5 or 6 cards. Sad, but I find it true. Being overseas, certainly weeds out many mediocre friendships and you find out who your true friends are.

Teacher in Rome · Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Posts: 1286

Gordon said:

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

I can still vote in Canada, although the process is not easy. I completely missed the last election, only fidning out about it 2 days before. For the record, we have a parliamentary sustem similar to the UK, so elections don't happen on fixed dates or years.

Let me add a little more to what I wrote in the TEFL is a Farc thread. Not 'fitting' into Canada is a great word to choose, but not to mean that I can't adapt and live there. It is more that Canada is too small for me to fit into it. That could be a big ego talking if you take it the wrong way Laughing

. I don't feel the need to be rooted to a specific place.

Home, if anyone asks, is where I hang me hat, as the song goes. I'm from Canada when asked, live in Mexico when asked, and when pressed further, I couldn't tell you where my mail will go 5 years down the road. And that's the way I like it.

ls650 · Joined: 10 May 2003 Posts: 3484 Location: British Columbia

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

I think your view LS650 (what does that stand for?) is a common Western Canadian view. It seems to be southern and eastern Ontarians are the only ones who see themselves as Canadians first. In fact, I've never heard anyone say that they are Ontarian.

BTW, I so miss Vancouver, the OK valley, the Kootenays, and Salmon Arm. I plan to retire in Salmon Arm or near the top of the Shushwap.

struelle · Joined: 16 May 2003 Posts: 2372 Location: Shanghai

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

You know what's funny? I found Winnipeg to be multi-cultural. I'm from Ottawa and traveled there more than a few times. Winnipeg to me has always been this amazing port in the prairie where I can find influence from a lot of other cultures, particularly Osbourne Village, and anywhere along Portage. I was immensely surprised to find that in the middle of Kanada, 3000 km from everyhwere.

shmooj · Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 1758 Location: Seoul, ROK

Glad (kind of) to see that despite a near year-long absence, some things haven't changed on this board.

Capergirl, Gordon, Guy... here's a question.
Where do threads go to die?

Canada... still Rolling Eyes

Teacher in Rome · Joined: 09 Jul 2003 Posts: 1286

Um, Shmooj, Capergirl is no longer with us...

leeroy · Joined: 30 Jan 2003 Posts: 777 Location: London UK

Yeah - I wonder what ever happened to her? Wink

Lynn · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 696 Location: in between

I left my hometown right after high school and my parents moved, too. And since then I have been on the constant move. I'm tired now. I do want to live in one place. But that aint gonna happen. I haven't even lived here one year and we are moving to LA soon.

By the way, I miss Capergirl, too.

nomadder · Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 2:06 am Post subject:

I'm not sure if I'm a nomad by choice or by circumstance.

My mother says she'll be happy when I "settle down". I wonder when that will happen. Rolling Eyes

Down in the valley, valley so low....

shenyanggerry · Joined: 02 Nov 2003 Posts: 619 Location: Canada

I get it from the other end of the generations. I have grandchildren. I have chosen to live in Halifax (and China and New Brunswick). Each time I go to China, I find less pull to come home. Perhaps this is because I'm a nomad within Canada.

I grew up in New Brunswick, spent most of my life in Montreal and now live in Halifax - for about 4+ months per year. I spend mid February to end of June in China; the summer at the cottage; then to Halifax with large 'visiting' blocks to Montreal, Toronto, Moncton, etc.

While I still own my house in Montreal, I don't have a home!