Job Discussion Forums

greent · Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Posts: 40 Location: HCMC, Vietnam

I'm wondering if anyone out there, particulary women, can tell me about their experiences with men in Turkey? I've heard mixed reviews- lots of harassment and over the top overtures of affection... Can you be a single white foreign girl and have a normal dating life? What are the typical gripes of foreign women in Turkey? Thanks...

dmb · Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Posts: 8397

monkel · Joined: 29 Apr 2003 Posts: 37 Location: Australia

but no lack of APPLICANTS, even if you're a bit over the hill (like me)! Very Happy

gelin · Joined: 09 Mar 2003 Posts: 144 Location: Istanbul, Turkey

Just an observation of mine: Turkish men are very charming at first -- they wine and dine. But, when you decide that perhaps you don't want to commit only to him and try to tell him that, he'll flip out and suddenly you are a *beep*. Many are very jealous and don't want to "share."

Faustino · Joined: 10 Sep 2004 Posts: 601

Did you know there are only two types of tea in the World; Green tea, which is incredibly good for you; all other kinds of tea, some of which are good.

greent · Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Posts: 40 Location: HCMC, Vietnam

well, um thanks for the info.. I've been living in Vietnam for the past few years, and am just wondering if I am going from one extreme to another. Any other comments greatly appreciated!

ImanH · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 214 Location: Istanbul

Sorry greent, I'm neither white nor single so can't help you much here. I am married to a Turkish man, though, so you can guess where I stand on this issue.
There has been some discussion on this subject, too, so you could try a search.
See, for example, the thread a few below this one entitled something like "questions for the women out there".
Hope that helps somewhat.
Just out of interest, what were your experiences in Vietnam?

corall · Joined: 23 Apr 2004 Posts: 270 Location: istanbul, turkey

dmb - where ever did you get that idea???? Laughing

i suppose i have been known to complain about that a bit....

dmb · Joined: 12 Feb 2003 Posts: 8397

A bit?

monkel · Joined: 29 Apr 2003 Posts: 37 Location: Australia

green t,

i worked in vietnam immediately before coming to turkey, so here's my 2 cents worth:

turkey is much much more expensive, and offers the same or lower wages....

turkey is a single western woman's paradise. many turkish men are charming, romantic and sweet......i had a turkish boyfriend for a while who was all of the above, but had to go home at 11pm every night to be with his mum though Rolling Eyes

it was a bit of a laugh! i think that's not the norm, though......

turkish students (kids anyway) are much less dedicated than vietnamese students, who i found the most motivated i've ever taught.

all in all i found turkey to be much cleaner, and i've been happier here than i was in vietnam. i'm married now (not to a turk, but there are many western girls here who are), but i think if you're not dressing like Britney or Beyonce, you'll be fine!

good luck

cazzy · Joined: 14 Jul 2004 Posts: 11 Location: turkey

green t
I have been working in Turkey for 6 months now and have not experieced any real harrassment. I agree that if you don't dress in micro minis and short skirts then you won't bring unwanted attention to yourself.I love working and living here, less stressful than the UK.
Good luck Laughing

cazzy

queenfrog · Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 29

I think Turkish guys are a bit more persistent than say American guys. The latter of the two would back off when told to or put down but the other will laugh it off or perhaps not understand and keep trying to ask you out. Even laughing at them doesn't help. When pursued I find it easier to accept their number (then they walk away) and then throw it away.

Also I might add that it doesn't mean that you are dressing inappropriately. Remember, sometimes people believe that what they see in the movies is real and the women in American movies are usually sleeping with everyone so the Turkish guys sometimes believe that because you are foreign that you will sleep with them too.

NMB · Joined: 20 Jan 2003 Posts: 84 Location: France

While living in Istanbul, I had my ass grabbed (on several occasions), my hair pulled, and my skirt pulled up. But, I'm black, not white, which could have been a factor in a society not accustomed to seeing black women. On the level of dating, I experienced both extremes. The presumably genuine ones are often sweet and very sensitive. But, there are also a lot of users, either for what they perceive as "easy" sex with a foreign woman or a ticket out of Turkey. The religion can often come into play -- I had a seemingly modern boyfriend who refused to kiss me in public during Ramazan and routinely prayed after sex. And, yes, many do live with their families, a situation that I was never really able to adjust to.

corall · Joined: 23 Apr 2004 Posts: 270 Location: istanbul, turkey

i've always said that 90% of turkish men are dogs. yes the movie thing i agree with completely and foreign women regardless of colour are perceived to be easy. also been told that there are about three reasons the 90% bracket date foreign women
1. sex
2. they think the girl has lots of money
3. to live in the country where the girl is from.
also i agree it is not easy being a black female in this country. i too have had my ass grabbed, hair pulled etc etc but it's not all bad and if you are lucky enough to find a decent turkish guy he will treat you well. don't be surprised about the amount that live with the parents though that's normal...

ImanH · Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 214 Location: Istanbul

sheez - that's awful corall and nmb.
Can't say I've every experienced that in Turkey, although I've had my ass grabbed plenty of times in the UK.
Maybe the word "turkish" is redundant in your first sentence corall.
Sorry boys just kidding(ish) Cool