Site Search:
 
Get TEFL Certified & Start Your Adventure Today!
Teach English Abroad and Get Paid to see the World!
Job Discussion Forums Forum Index Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Students and Teachers from Around the World!"
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Evolution of English - a bit of humour

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Indonesia
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
guruengerish



Joined: 28 Mar 2004
Posts: 424
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 4:00 am    Post subject: Evolution of English - a bit of humour Reply with quote

To a state which once had a proposition floated to teach 'rap' as a language, nothing is beyond the pale!


The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the state, rather than German
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or,
if nobody will be offended, "Austrionics").

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Cardinal Synn



Joined: 01 Nov 2004
Posts: 586

PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why did I find myself reading that with an Arnie accent? Even at the beginning.

Last edited by Cardinal Synn on Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Chester



Joined: 15 May 2004
Posts: 383
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:59 am    Post subject: uh huh Reply with quote

and there's me thinking English Teachers in general had no sense of humour.
ummmm . someone change my mind please. aye
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Sun Mai



Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 9:30 pm    Post subject: re: evolution Reply with quote

I laufed so hard I kried!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
willy



Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Posts: 215
Location: Samarinda,Kalimantan,Indonesia(left TW)

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think thats out of Cutting Edge, Elementary page 126, thanks
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Indonesia All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling.
Contact Dave's ESL Cafe
Copyright © 2018 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved.

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

Teaching Jobs in China
Teaching Jobs in China