Job Discussion Forums

[MyTurnNow]

[MyTurnNow]

Hi,
I posted this just before I saw the new rules. I seem to have violated many of them. I am sorry.
I'm a baaaaad boy. But I'm trying to be good....

MT

[Hamish]

Absolutely wonderful.

I've cut and pasted and printed it, and am going to claim I wrote it.

Thanks.

Regards,

[Roger]

A very GOOD BAD boy, MyTurnNow

[Minhang Oz]

None of us can hope to beat MT's description- he's effectively killed the thread.

[Count_Fathom]

I really must publicize my respect for that superb piece of technical writing.. You should ship that off to magazines and newspapers in the west. No problem bringing in some extra gummi-bears with that.

[senor boogie woogie]

Different classifications of English teacher:

1.) Straight laced person-Usually an in the closet fundy, Mormon or Jehovah's Witness. Does not drink, smoke, or chasing women (the reason we come to Asia.) A few come here looking for Zen or the meaning of life.

2.)People running away from something-People who are running from a wife, father of wife, credit card company, creditors, or worse. For example, there was a man from my home city who killed his wife, kidnapped his children and fled to Brazil. What was he doing when they found him? ESL, of course.

3.) Super intellegent but wayward people. Usually these types think their smarter than the average bear, and they come here because his family and friends back home are too dumb for him and he wants to show his new host country how far above the fold he is. Usually good teachers. These people usually lurk the denizens of the chain school.

4.)People who come here to fart around, drink, smoke, chase women and have fun. Interested in another culture, especially its decedant side. Maybe looking for love. Someone who does not want a "real job", but is too poor to retire. A person who can order a beer in more than three languages. I am a member of this group. (Beer, Cervasa, Mekjou, Pijou)

5.) The people who come here and actually do a professional job. The people who never drink, never hung over, do lesson plans and raise the bar to all the flunkies above who come here for various religious or nafarious pursuits.

6.) Trust fund kids and backpackers. Screwballs (mainly Korea)

7.) Canadians.

These are the types I have seen in my 2 1/2 years tripping around Asia.

SENOR

[MyTurnNow]

The real test of any scientific research is peer review. My thanks to you all. Especially Hamish, who will be hearing from my agent shortly.

I can't have killed this thread. There are too many mutants among us.

Regards,
MT

[chinasyndrome]

Dr M, my fondest regards for naming this thread after me. This is the second time in recent weeks that the chinasyndrome brand name has been used to kick a topic off (see 'My Turtle wants chinasyndrome' in the off-topic forum).

This will, I believe, in and of itself mean delegation (or is that relegation) to the Off-Topic Forum. It should also make me a much more visible target and I'm seriously considering bringing back the 'bears in the cross-hairs' avatar.

Please note that my standard fee is 15% of turnover arising from any marketing success you and Uncle Hamish' Publishing Group may have.

Given that the 'Off' Topic Competition didn't generate any answers that were, in the opinion of the unbiased judges (that'd be me), worthy of the prize, said prizes will be carried over into this thread.

Currently, your contribution is seen to be the outstanding leader but as mentioned in the earlier thread, I want to win first prize. So second prize is the one for you, but I believe Mr Krashen is not a fan of facial hair or the Hell's Angels look, so you might want to rethink that before he comes knocking on your back door, so to speak.

MT, I know about the new rules (just saw them) but I hope Dave will at least let your post live. It is a real classic, brilliantly written, highly entertaining and should be kept for future generations to enjoy. Plus it's got my name on it.

Seriously, please consider sending this to some foreign newspapers. I think it's an absolute killer and worthy of publication. Author! Author!

What the Critics said:

"Dr MT shows rare insight into the mind, mating habits, feeding frenzy and need for alcoholic beverages in this most enlightening, revealing and at times frightening expose`. A book for our times and one not to be missed."

"Scarier than 'Silence of the Lambs'. Ferocious in it's boots 'n' all exposure of the rarely taken notice of but nonetheless important life of the foreign English teacher. Gripping!"

"It seems the genre has a new master!"

"Chinasyndrome - the name is the promise!"

[little horsey]

Dear senor boogie woogie,

How did Canadians manage to snatch a category to themselves? What sets Canadians apart from the rest? Did you have some bad experiences with Canadians? I'm not POed or anything. Just curious is all.

Sincerely,

little horsey

[senor boogie woogie]

I just dislike Canada.

Several years ago, my parents (in their early 70s) and myself traveled by boat from Washington State to british Columbia. There were maybe a thousand people on board. We will one of the last people off. We went by the immigration station and the girl pointed me to some punk Canuck immigration guy. My parents were herded into a backroom and were all asked questions about criminal records, why we were in Canada, what our business was, yada yada yada.

This SOB took me and my father seperately to a back office and we were interrogated. I eventually told him that he can stick his ear ring and his maple flag where the sun did not shine. So, you could say that yours truly, the SENOR, was DEPORTED FROM CANADA. A shame really, I could of put my parents to bed and went out to get me a legal hooker and some hashish. Alas, not to be.

I have also had some job interactions with Canadians, both here in China and in Korea. Mostly negative experiences. Canadian women are stiff, unattractive and unfriendly. I have heard many times of the mean beavers in the Great White North, and now I know what they mean.

My best friend is from the Quebec Republic, and I do like RUSH and Canadian Whiskey. It is really sad that Canada has only given the world a three piece progressive cult band and a nice bottle of hooch. Oh, yea, William Shatner is from Canada too.

SENOR

[little horsey]

Wow, if Canada and Canadians are so bad, I should love what the rest of the world will present me in the next few months! But then again, I, myself, am a damn dirty Canadian...

[little horsey]

Also, I should add that I hate the United States of America.

Here's why: Once, I was on a Greyhound bus and the lady beside me smelled of feces. Also, the bus driver was very short with me when I asked him if I was on the right bus. The nerve! Finally, a cashier at a liquor store in the south looked at me as if I was going to steal something. Must've been my exotic Canadian accent. The nerve!

The above remarks do not, in fact, represent my feelings toward the respectable country that is known as America. It was a joke.

Okay bye!

little horsey

[Jojo]

Senor Boogie Woogie wrote, "Canadian women are stiff, unattractive and unfriendly"

Hmm, as a Canadian women myself, I am quite offended at this remark. As I've been told by the opposite sex, I am neither of these.
Of course what you have spewed is based on your own experience and obviously generalized to the rest of the Canadian women you have come across abroad. Aren't you married to a Chinese women? I can see why now if that is your opinion of caucasion Canadian women. Very sexist comment. I hope not all men abroad in China think this way. Geesh!!

[chinasyndrome]

Wow! If/when this thread gets torched can we at least save the original post by MTN? It's brilliant!