Job Discussion Forums

[Lynn]

[Lynn]

I'm 30 now and have been in the same situation many times. I agree with Onigiri that Ibailed when I really should have endured.

However, you really do have to know when to hold them and know when to fold them. I also wasted 5 months of my life on a shit job once. I should have quit much much earlier. But that was only once.

As for bailing on jobs I should have stuck with....I can't even count.

[Captain Onigiri]

Lynn,
Thank you very much for the kind words. I really appreciate it because after really putting myself out there, I was dreading checking up with the forum a bit. I completely agree that there were jobs I should have given the two finger flip off and a big raspberry about six months before I did and jobs I should still be working. My grandfather's favorite saying was, "your tail-lights are always brighter than your head-lights". Maybe the question the original poster should ask is, "When I'm 65 years old and I look back on this point in my life, will I see breaking my contract and leaving Japan as a missed opportunity or will I have no regrets?" It's the question I used when I was given an opportunity to go to Alaska and work in a fish cannery. I knew if I didn't do it, I would look back and think I hadn't lived life to the fullest. Isn't that why you went to Japan? To live life to the fullest and to fill it with as many adventures as possible?Don't let NOVA or culture shock or loneliness or anything else buck you off from having an adventure of a lifetime. It might not be the adventure you had planned when you left for Japan but REAL adventure means taking a path you have no idea where it leads.
Anyway, it's a tough question but if you can answer it either way, I think you know what you need to do. I wish I could help you more but as a rather faceless poster on an internet forum there is only one other thing I can do other than type advice. That other thing is to let you know that you aren't alone and I'm cheering you on. Good Luck.

[annae]

great advice everyone! i myself went through a period around months 3 and 4 of living in japan where i felt inexplicably down. i like my job, my boyfriend is in japan too, i'm learning japanese, and i'm very interested in japanese culture - culture shock can happen to anyone i guess. i found that getting out and exploring japan really got me out of a rut, as well as focusing on all of the unique things that japan has to offer that i can't experience in the u.s. try to make japanese friends if you can, and i definately agree that studying the language really boosts the quality and excitement of your daily life. i go to the local community center and have met people from all over the world. also ask yourself, 'what would i miss if i had to leave japan today?' maybe that will help you appreciate your life here more. just give it some time, and remember to focus on your life as a person with a great opportunity to learn more about herself and the world.

[shuize]

Get a hobby. Exercise. Study the language. Build a routine. All good advice.

My first job out of college was in rural Japan. No other foreigners around and very few English speakers. This was long before the internet boom and nowhere near any English bookstores. It could be very lonely. When I needed an escape I'd go over to the neighborhood batting cages and hit for hours. The family that ran the place loved me. I probably kept them in business single-handed. After the exercise I'd come home exhausted and sleep well. Later, the more Japanese I learned, the more I started making more friends outside work.

As posted above, work is just work. But for a newly graduated 22-year old, there are many worse situations. You can ride it out for another 8 months, I think.

[Lindsay]

my first three months in japan were not fun. i was living in a rural area with no english speakers, i spoke no japanese, every morning i went to work to deal with 12 three year olds who were all wailing (like really WAILING) for their mothers. i was the only one in the classroom and i was expected to teach them English. oh yes, and i also hate fish and it seems everything i bought to eat in the beginning was fish flavoured. (can you believe they have fish flavoured spaghetti?!)

i would talk to my boyfriend and family back home and say, "you, know this isn't what i thought. i think i am just going to come home. i thought i liked kids, but the full hour of screaming in class is not something i am prepared to handle for a year."

my family said,"just wait another month, it will get better" which totally infuriated me at the time. they had no idea what it was like.

but i waited another month, and another month, and the kids eventually stopped screaming for their mothers, i found normal spaghetti, i started to speak a little japanese, made some friends, and now in four weeks it is time for me to go home.

i am so proud of myself. i did it. i am so happy i didn't go home bc i know i would have regretted it. i think it is really cool that i can say i have moved to a foreign country and lived on my own for a year. i think the hard times have taught me a lot about myself. i can kill a cockroach on my own!

[Lynn]

[Captain Onigiri]

O my God! I feel like breaking out into It's a Small World. Where did you work? I worked for Icicle Seafoods in Homer, AK. Homer is the most beautiful place in the world as far as I'm concerned. My first job there was to stand by a conveyor belt of fish guts and pick out the sacks of fish eggs. I learned I could touch anything as long as I have rubber gloves on. And the exhaustion. I lost ten pounds in the first week because I was too tired to eat when I got home. 14 hour days, seven days a week for six weeks. Now that I'm 35, I don't know how my body managed to survive. I did it for three seasons. That was about two seasons too many because it kept me from having a "real career".

[Mike L.]

[cafebleu]

Nawlins girl - I can empathise with your situation although mine was different. I don`t live in Japan but I do come back from time to time to do certain things during certain periods which is why I am here now!

My advice is - DON`T give up your job yet! I know that you have received some good, sympathetic advice but I feel it is too early for you to try Peppy Kids or whatever. Try to stay focused on your job during working hours but don`t let it consume your thinking in free time. I know Nova can be a rotten place to work at from friends who worked there - I have always avoided the chain schools like the plague!

Complete your contract - you`ll get significant returns from that in the way of money, sense of completion that will also look good on your cv, a reference, etc. Japan has changed a lot since the days when people merrily went from job to job. I don`t live here anymore but I saw in the last two years I lived here how prospective employees were tougher in their demands, wanted to see ID, references, call up previous employers etc. That was in Fukuoka - which has a small town mentality and a snooping mentality anyway, but the days of having it easier as an English teacher in Japan have ended.

I left Japan with my Chinese husband as we could no longer endure the bull of the racialism here, the poor quality lifestyle, etc. My husband made the move more for my benefit as he is a tough man who considers himself a citizen of the world and although disappointed by attitudes in Japanese society, could take it better than I could. When I met my husband my life changed here in any number of ways. However, when I first came to Japan I couldn`t understand how I had entered a lifestyle of extreme loneliness (I could speak Japanese to some extent, however) and cruel experiences of Japanese people (mostly women) in the countryside.

I was the only teacher at a private English school and nobody offered to take me anywhere, there were no invitations, etc, etc. I had always mixed with people of many nationalities in my native UK and I know I was and am a person who is open to other cultures. I think that Kyushu can be very problematic for foreign women. People here might say I should have asked my students to take me places but I didn`t see how it was always up to me to beg them to help me a little. I was always doing favours for them - it seemed as some foreigners think that we offer the Japanese more than they offer us. I found that to be true.

I stuck at the job for a few years as I had met my boyfriend now husband. He opened up Japan for me - a Chinese man! However, we stayed in the countryside and didn`t like it. Some people might want to pick an argument with me on this but I found one constant - the Japanese generally close ranks, particularly in the countryside. People will side with nasty neighbours who are in the wrong (and in some cases very aggressive about their right to spy on you and talk about you loudly and belittingly). I found in my time in Japan it was always about the Japanese, never about us. I did make some friends but these friends are mostly Jp people in Honshu and they do work such as teaching.

I think you are in a good part of Japan in Shizuoka. You will be happier there than you would in a place like Kyushu. Join a club, read the free foreigner mags, visit the foreigner plaza closest to you. Don`t give up yet, hang in there. At least complete your contract. You`ll be happier at the end of it. Good luck!

[yeka]

I agree with all of the posts about getting out and into clubs, etc. Even if you are by yourself, being outside of your apartment, even just for a walk, is much better than sitting around.

I went through a period of lonliness as well, finally starting to come out of it. I've been trying a new thing to help me overcome the bad feelings about Japan - every day I find write down one thing I like about my city or about Japan. It has to be a different thing every day. It's a small thing, but you'd be shocked at how much better it can make you feel.

Another thing is that it is great to know you are not alone in these feelings. My co-worker is way too happy about everything (seriously... if a kid punched her I honestly think she'd gush about how cute it was), which made me feel even worse for being down. Knowing that I am not the only person having problems making friends and feeling lonely really helped me through some of the more difficult days.

[nawlinsgurl]

To everyone:
This has all been some really good advice. I think that exercise will do me good and going out more and exploring. Some of your postings have got me thinking outside of the box and evaluating myself and my reasons for coming to Japan.
Before I came to Japan, I thought that I could live here forever. It sounds crazy, I know, but I wanted to be anywhere but America. I was from a really nice, diverse, and historic area, but I was tired of the government and a bunch of other things. To me, Japan looked like a golden egg. People warned me that I would hate it, but I just thought they were stupid and didn't know what they were talking about. I can say now that I was naive and infatuated with a culture and world I didn't know anything about. At the time, any place seemed more exciting and unique than America.
When I got to Japan, I fit right in. Nothing seemed crazy, short of all the mayonnaise on everything and a few social situations. I thought, "This place isn't all so bad..."
Now, four and a half months later, it seems that the real culture shock has begun to set it. Everything was driving me crazy- from the little to the big stuff. I began to question everything and get more and more upset�
Why does the washing machine only use cold water?
Why can't I have tomato on my chicken sandwich, if I'm paying for it?
Why do so many people think I'm the expert on America and everything my President does?
Why does it take so long for something to get done and if it can't be done why does it take three or four people to stand around and think about it? The questions could go on forever.
While my company isn't so bad (at least not yet) they don�t leave you much room for freedom or imagination. I have heard horror stories about Nova, but they haven�t really screwed me over...yet. However, they are making so many changes to the materials and teaching process, that there will be no creativity left for students to enjoy and teachers to use. I remember learning Spanish in school and being bored out of my mind! I don't want to end up being a drone, but apparently that is how the system with my school works.
And that is just the beginning. But then I think about what I would be doing back in the States...probably paying $2 a gallon for gas to drive to my minimum salary job teaching students who don't want to learn (and have parents who don't care if they learn), all while I'm worried about the terror alert level.
I got a job teaching English in a foreign country, with no previous experience, fresh out of college. I definitely wouldn�t be making this amount of money back home, especially with no certification or previous years of experience.
So then I think about Japan and I'm like, it isn't so bad after all.
There have been some really great moments. And if I leave now I will leave with some money and good memories, but I think I am going to tuff it out and stay for a while. Thanks again for all the advice. I truly appreciate it.

[Gordon]

I think you have a good attitude about your culture shock nawlinsgurl. Recognizing your culture shock is an important step and it would also be good not to ask "WHY" regarding apparent stupid (to us) aspects of Japanese society. I still ask "WHY" after almost 3 years and I know it doesn't do any good. The collective mentality thing still gets to me at times. I'm glad you're going to stick it out, I think you will have a new respect for yourself for being able to thrive on your own in a new culture and workplace. Gambatte masu!

[worlddiva]

well, nawlinsgurl...glad to hear things are looking up.

I too have been really depressed and miserable lately. Feeling lonely and lost.

Yesterday, I went out of my apt. and bought a bike which is the highlight of my weekend. Now, I can get around town!!!

I also managed to sign up for the internet, it should be activated in about 10 days, I:ll be posting a lot more then.

These last 2 days I have gone out around town and have to say that actually doing something and not staying in my apt and staring at my 4 walls has helped immensely.

I also met some new foreigners here, which made me fell a bit better.

well, hang in there!
if there is anything you can PM me, as I can empathise with you more than you know.

WD

[Akula the shark]

I think most of us have had similar feelings at some time or other.
The important thing is to make the most of your time here.
I went through some extremely tough times, but was able to battle through and get the most out of my stay. Hang in there.