Job Discussion Forums

[tofuman]

Dear FAO,

Here are a few suggestions on how to hire a foreign teacher and keep him/her happy so they will renew their contract. The concept is called "employee retention." It will save you time and money to keep employees. Some of us have come here by choice and have other employment possibilities. We are fairly well off and don't really need the money that you are offering. If we are not happy in our job, we can just leave. It is in your interest to keep those willing to come here and work. Here are a few suggestions to help you do a better job:

Be competent in your position. Take some time to familiarize yourself with visa and passport requirements as they pertain to your foreign teacher. Understand the basics of taxation in China as well as exchanging money. These things are important to us and we will appreciate your help. If you do not know about these things, admit it. Please do not gain our trust and then disappoint us when things go wrong because of your incompetence.

Be truthful. I hate lying. If you don't know something, admit it. I will not expect you to know everything. If you lie, I will distrust you and loathe working for you. Remember, I do not have to renew my contract. I have options. There will never be a time when I want you to lie in my behalf. Lying is going to cause problems. Please don't.

Don't laugh in my face if I do or say something unexpected. Sometimes I find what you do and say "laughable" but I don't judge you by my standards. Grant me the same courtesy. Consider that I come from a very different culture and do not understand your language or customs well. Laughing at me is not the best way to help me learn to get along in your society.

Learn to manage your time and be efficient. Because you forgot or didn't care enough to tell me about deadlines, expectations, meetings, etc., is not a good reason to put pressure on me to get things done hurriedly. Frankly, I don't care who is waiting for a form that you knew a week ago had to be done yesterday, but only told me about this morning. That is not really my problem. It doesn't matter to me, if I didn't know about it. Let the people wait until I can do it correctly. I don't like being made to look bad because you don't provide adequate time to do something correctly. I can always ask them why I was not notified. They may understand that the problem is with you. Maybe, to my delight, you will be criticized. Don't try to pile some additional onerous task on me for revenge. Either I won't do it, or will do it in a way to create more problems for you. I will not give you power over me by caring. As I have said before, I can leave anytime you are unhappy with my job performance.

Thank you.

[ShapeSphere]

I have taken the time to speak with an FAO, and translated and transcribed the following letter:

Dear Teacher,

I have read your letter with great interest but will never change my ways because my head is so far up my arse that I would probably never change even if a gun were held to my head. There's no point in threatening to shoot my balls off as they're so small - I wouldn't know they had gone.

I will never admit I am wrong because that means I would lose face, and you can never truly understand this concept because you come from a culture that values ambition, risk-taking, courage and sometimes the simple capacity to admit a mistake. Remember, I am a spineless sh*t and am only interested in profit.

I can never be competent in this job, because I cannot plan, and actually don't want to. Nobody else does in China, so why should I? I am not trained to do this job; I only acquired it, because a friend knew a friend who knew another friend. I smile a lot because really I am terrified of being found out for the charlatan I really am.

I am always truthful - I tell you what you want to hear. That's my definition. I don't care if you leave this school, there will be another teacher to fill in the gap. That teacher will be innocent, bewildered, trusting and will never return again after being ripped off.

Yours,

Fuk Yu.


SS now speaks - Tofuman - I know what you mean and fully sympathise.

[writpetition]

Hilarious, Shape Sphere!

Just one point though, "...but will never change my ways because my head is so far up my arse that I would probably never change even if a gun were held to my head..." which means the the gun, too would have to be up the a*se.....hahahahaha....which means Mr. Yu is/has such a huge a*seho*e...hahaha...

No, seriously...FAO's have a pretty tough job because their bosses are not necessarily sympathetic enough to them or the teachers and the FAO's need to fuction within the parameters, whether financial or other. This means they must walk a tightrope without allowing things to get too one-sided. Most FAO's that I've dealt with have been fairly reasonable guys but sometimes they have to say and do things that are thrust upon them.

That's China...and one must take some of these things in one's stride.

[Norman Bethune]

[limits601]

Where do i sign ?

I love the ending. Very funny but so truthful. I love it

[journeyeast]

Beautiful.. Very entertaining..