Job Discussion Forums

[31]

Inspired by englishteacherx.com

My contribution:

This late twenties girl turns up and claims to have the dip so she is getting paid more than the rest of us. She has an artificial leg -plastic AND a deformity of her hand-she only has 3 fingers but 1 of them is like 3 times the size. She walks with a limp and with one arm sort of covered up. At the interview in London she was told by the head of English that there was no trouble getting her leg ''serviced''-plastic legs need servicing regularly but of course when she arrives there is only 1 place that can do it and that is on the other side of Ist. She has crappy accomodation in the student dormitory with the other teachers and a serious drink problem. When it becomes clear that she has no qualifications she gets tortured by one of the teachers and after she is asked for the originals she cannot produce them. Of course at the interview it never occurred to the Head to ask for them. They carry on employing her of course and on many occasions have to send someone to get her out of bed. One of the teachers tells the head that she has a serious drink and emotional problem and that she goes to bed literally with a bottle of voddy. They carry on employing her. One day she has a drunken arguement with herself and storms off and throws a telephone at a security guard. He complains about her. They keep on employing her. Finally she attacks another teacher in front of the students and she gets bought a plane ticket home. They even book a taxi to take her to the airport and see her off. Off she goes. A few weeks later she phones up and asks for a reference. A few months later she is spotted on a bus going south. She is working for British English.

[Belmont]

Truth IS stranger than fiction. I want to hear more about this teacher.

[gypsy67]

sounds cute, is she taken?

[31]

[justme]

Except fot the plastic leg, I'm pretty sure I know this person. Can we substitute 'plastic leg' for 'knee reconstruction', add a fake appendectomy and her mother and father dying at least 2 times each, requiring week-long trips to England (substituting 'trips to England' for 'benders'?)

[31]

[almuze]

I know this person! she taught with me....6 years ago, I think, but maybe 7 now.... anyway, her name was Zoe, she had a plastic leg, she kept taking it off in the staff room and leaving it around during her off hours, she could never make it to the service bus, wanted the school to pay for her taxis, wow! she said she had just come from escaping from diamond smugglers in africa...
she is really very odd, to say the least. She said she was in her late twenties in...1998, must have been. But how many crazy Zoes with fake legs could there be in istanbul?

[31]

That sounds like Zoe.

She used to go to bed fully clothed with a half empty bottle of vodka. Often she had to be woken up by her flatmate or the Head had to send a teacher to her flat to get her up. Never heard the one about the diamond smugglers but perhaps she was referring to British English in Saskinbakkal.

[justme]

Apparently Zoe has a 2-legged doppelganger whose name starts with M.

[dmb]

Isn't this a bit personal for a public forum?

[justme]

You're right, dmb. Sorry. I edited it.

It's been a rough morning and this story gave me some unpleasant memories..

[31]

[crashartist1]

There is this teacher (in Istanbul, still there, works for one of the more popular schools, and no not ET, but down the road from them in Taxsim) who claims to have security clearance for the FBI, CIA, ATF, NSA, NASA, he says he was a Navy Seal, a computer programmer in the Navy, part of the Special Forces in the Air force, lived in every country in the world, slept with 2 or 3 different women a night for 2 years while living in Japan, has a house and 2 cars waiting for him in Virginia and says he is actively being pursued by the CIA to rejoin them due to his previous work in the Navy. He has high level security clearance with the government, learned martial arts from Zen masters and uses his sex life to entertain students in class.
Nothing you could ever do was better or even remotely interesting to what he had done in his life. Even if you met Buda himself on the top of Mt. Everest drinking a cocktail, he would simply look at you and say, �Oh that�s nothing, when I was in blah, blah, blah I�.�
I often wonder why someone who has the education (he says he graduated Valedictorian from Cal Berkeley in Computer Science and is a decorated soldier in the navy, even though he can�t prove any of it) to work for Lockheed Martin, or for NASA Jet Propulsion Laborites making $120,000 a year is doing working as an ESL teacher for hardly anything. I mean after all he once worked in Ankara making $8,000 a month living in huge 5 bedroom, marble covered rooftop pooled apartment driving BMW�s and sleeping with the PM daughter, after all that is why she went to America for school they were in love but her father couldn�t handle it. Or something like that, I get the stories mixed up after a while there are so many of them. Not to mention his suits he had made for him in Milan by D&G, Gucci and the like, that he left behind because he wanted to leave that rich lifestyle behind him and start over. Oh did I mention that he is a model and does all these shows, he keeps saying he is going to buy a new apartment in Bostanci, but he still lives in the company owned apartments in Kasimpasa.
So while I still think Zoe is the better of the weirdest teachers I have heard of, this guy gives a good run for the honor too.

[31]

In the gallery of stereotypical TEFL teachers lets call Crashartist`s workmate:

The Bull s h i t t e r

[travelingirl68]

It sounds like crashartists connection suffers from schizophrenia, all those delusions of grandeur, the constant one-up-manship... I have only taught in one country and did not meet many other foreigners there - is this type of person a high percentage of TEFLers? YIKES!