Job Discussion Forums

[JimDunlop2]

Okay... The weekend is coming.... And the end of the school year is finally here! YATTA!

So, to celebrate this fact and to take away from the otherwise serious, flame-baited, troll-infested, gravity-laden threads, let's have some fun.

What are some the funniest experiences you've ever had happen to you while teaching? I'll start by sharing two.

1. In my first year in Japan when I was teaching eikaiwa, I had a group of six grade-6 students. I was showing them flashcards of common items and asking what they were in English. I showed a flashcard with a crayon and asked,
"What's this?"

No answer. We had already studied this so I tried to prompt them.

"Cr... Cr.... "

At which point one student grinned wide as if he just had a moment of epiphany, and blurted out: "CRACK!!!!"

At which point I just about died laughing.

2. Today, I was correcting ichi-nensei (chu-gakkou) tests on months of the year. The questions asked: 1. What is the first month of the year? 2. What is the second month of the year? And so on...

One student had absolutely no clue as to how to answer each question so he filled in the Japanese numeric format for the date: <number> + the kanji for "month" or: GATSU. Eg. ichi-gatsu: 一月 Problem was, he just kept going. So when he got to question number 13 which asked: When is your birthday? He had run out of months so he wrote 13月 (13gatsu)!!! I laughed so hard half the staff in the office was looking at me.... So I shared the gaff with them, at which point the whole office was in hysterics! In honor of that we immediately coined a new month named after him: the month of Masato.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!!!

[JimDunlop2]

<sigh> There's always one, isn't there? Paul??

[markle]

This one happen in Thailand so it may lose some of it`s humour.

I had come up with a variation of charades where my 6-7 year old had to mime the verb they were given ie run, sleep, etc and the rest of the class had to guess what it was. One particularly imaginative but unruly kid stepped up and got the word whisper. He understood the word but was a little confused about how to mime it. Finally he mimed putting something on floor straddled it then proceeded to mime putting his pants on. Everyone was totally mystified. He repeated it a couple of times until a penny dropped in the back of my head. "Whisper" was a well advertised local brand of panty liner and that was what he was miming. I quickly corrected him and moved onto the next one, but my Canadian co-teacher still didn`t get how a six year old boy knew how to use panty liners!

[denise]

From China:

While trying to explain "to chase," I decide, A-ha!!! a little TPR will do the trick! So I ask one of my students to stand up and run across the room. He does, and I start running after him. Damn, those tile floors are slick!!! One step, and I start to lose my balance. Noooo problem, I recover and keep going. Two steps, three steps...

SPLAT!!!

There lies Teacher, face down on the floor in the middle of the room. My poor little students were too surprised even to laugh at me. Bless their dear little souls! Of course, when I got up, dusted myself off, and started laughing, they just about lost it.

I think they figured out the meaning of "to chase," though.

d

[ndorfn]

well this one is just wafer thin, but at least it's true.

Once I asked an adult student about her job and she told me her co-worker in the hotel was very upset because she "loved koku". Having not heard that this was necessarily a reason to be unhappy I asked her to explain.

Apparently her friend was quite fond of the chef who was leaving his job.

You had to be there.

[Sheik_Yerbouti]

I have a returner who spent his life in the States from the time he was 2 until he turned 13. For all intents and purposes, he is bilingual.

We were doing the "Can you ____?" grammar point. The JTE asks him
"Takeshi, can you speak Spanish?" Not even looking up, he responds, "HELL no!"

His answer was totally above and beyond the JTE's English ability. She looked confused and said, "Pardon?"

Again without batting an eyelash or looking up, he responds "F**k off."

He's a nice kid, hates English class and the saviour of my sanity since there is in fact someone at the school with whom I can speak English.

[ntropy]

I'm dating myself here.

We were hiking on the Nakasendo during the Seoul Olympics. Stopped for noodles at a restaurant just in time to see Ben Johnson win the Gold. Never saw a TV for the rest of the weekend.

Show up for school Monday morning and the local TV crew suddenly asks to tape a lesson at the local JHS. During the lesson a student asks what Canadians think of Ben Johnson.

Not knowing of the positive drug test and scandal that follows, I answer how proud all of Canada is of him. Duly beamed to the entire prefecture via local TV. The stunned looks of the students made me realize I'd done something really stupid but I had no idea what until later.

Baka gaijin, ne!

[taikibansei]

Back in the late 80s, I was teaching (ineptly) a conversation class in Osaka. However, my 'real' reason to be in Japan at the time was to learn Japanese, so at every opportunity, I would try out the language. This continued until the fateful day when, to a class of mostly older ladies, I tried to say in Japanese, "On questions of race, I consider myself to be color-blind." The Japanese word for 'color-blind' is 'shikimo;' a Japanese word for 'sex fiend/pervert' is 'shikima'--guess which one I used?

To this day, I still get flashbacks of all those frozen, embarrassed smiles....

[goman72]

In Spain:

Teacher said: I am bald.

I say: No, its "bored" (aburrido) not "Bald" (calvo).

Class figures out what has happened and everyone pisses themselves laughing...

CG

[Willy_In_Japan]

I had a 2nd year Junior High girl, write this to me.

She was practicing for an 'interactive forum' and was talking about her 'hobbies'.

She wrote;

"I like looking at a dog and playing with a dong".

I almost wet myself, I laughed so hard.

[azarashi sushi]

That reminds me.... A few years ago I had a lesson with a private student where we were practicing expressing likes and dislikes (I like..., I love..., I can't stand..., I hate ..., etc).

I gave some examples ... fairly ordinary kinds of things like: "I like going for long walks in the countryside." "I can't stand riding on crowded trains."

When it was his turn, he came out with "I LOVE stroking my pet rabbit, Sakurako."

Actually, it was more creepy rather than funny.

[denise]

My office-mate told me something that one of her students wrote. She was describing the different blood types and their personality traits. Apparently one of the types... damn, I wish I could remember which one!... are private people and "like their privates."

d

[Synne]

Halloween Practise

"Alright say ..'BURN THE WITCH!' "

"BURN DA BI TCHU!"


Silent Sounds Practise

-Cak

-Fac

"What silent sound do Cak and Fac have?"

[joncharles]

I had a three-year-old that literally had me rolling on the floor. I was using a wall poster of a little boy to teach arms, legs, hands, ect... so when it came to the application phase I asked the child go point to the legs. She ran up and pointed to a leg.. but then she pointed right at the crotch and said..." UH UH UH UH! "

[Big John Stud]

I would like to know why my post taken from Monty Python was taken out? Of course I changed the scene a little to give the younger ALTs a good laugh.

PaulH don't take get offended but maybe you are alittle to uptight. This thread is a silly thread one to waste time. The post was taken from a funny movie, even if you didn't like the movie.