Job Discussion Forums

[Smooth Operator]

"Jap women"? Excuse me? If you really want to abbreviate at least use "Jpe" woman. "Jap" sounds terrible and looks just as bad on my computer screen."

Excuse me?? A double standard here surely. It was being used as an abbreviation, and what is wrong with other similar ones like Brit, Aussie, or even Yank??? Don't be so precious please...

[Lucy Snow]

Does someone from Great Britain mind being called a "Brit?" Does someone from Australia mind being called an "Aussie?" Probably not.

I suggest you ask some of your Japanese students how they feel about the word "Jap." Many of them are well aware that it's a derogatory term.

I was at a party in Japan where a very drunk American was trying to explain to his Japanese department head that "Jap" was really a term of, well, affection--American propaganda during WWII notwithstanding. The American didn't notice how angry the Japanese guy was getting.

Relations were pretty strained between the two of them after that.

[yattsukeshigoto]

Isn't this getting more than a little off topic?

[sammael]

Anyone ever read Michiro Matsumoto`s `The Unspoken Way`? The Japanese are starting to make a kind of sense but I find that in my small town of 140,000 (with a bus that runs until 9:00 PM, 2 hours from Himeji, and forty non-Asian foreigners, it is small) that I can`t make any friends!

Working for Nova doesn`t help either, since times when most people are doing hobbies, (kendo, karate, Ikebana, Chado) I am at work and you can forget about socialising with students with out someone `ratting you out` !! Not knowing the language makes it hellish too!!

Which is better in your eyes Lynn, small towns or big cities? I am transferring soon, (Okayama) but I will say that the only good thing about this town (Tottori) is the beach! Go there, swim and go home!

[run-jp]

A lot of these comments remind me how i felt my 1st 3 years in Japan.
I hated my teens at the trade school, couldn t find a REAL girlfriend, etc.
...and then some how I "weaved" myself into the fabirc of life here.
i wonder if iI could do it, cos I took an "anti-Metropolis" approach from my 3rd year. I got a nice MTB and rode for 11 days all around Hokkaido talking to anyone at every town or campsite. the Js thought it was really cool that I would explore all by myself and be so trusting of them. when fall semester started at Senmongako in Sapporo, I could now tell students (most from other towns) " yeah...Ive been there, I like the such and such cliffs" It wasn't so hard to have seen more of the island than they had. i think the key was that people took me seriously for about the first time as someone not just there for $$.

it is not always possible to break thru the superficialness, the tiring though still laugh-provoking stunts we do ("Oh, I didn't mean to walk into the womens bath ...ha...ha"...as if we re just an alternative for TV watching) Clowning around is about all the outside of work activity some Js have....but the same is true for some in US, UK AUS. Point is you wouldnt try to be buddys with just anyone back home, but your "radar" to assess possible friends aint working here in a foreign culture.

So I found more serious people than you find just around town. I volunteered Saturday mornings with the blind (jogging in apark and doing some races) I met some serious Spanish speaking japanese thru my Mexican friends, made a friend hitchhiking, started TELEMARK skiing
( Tele skiers are about as chummy as combat vets, chatting up each other) and x-country... i wouldnt say i met "fun and crazy" people, but genuine, nice people who pick you up at 7:15 am sharp (as planned) and you could spend several hours with them, w/o the "show crap". i am also lucky to be francophone and to have met, some tri-lingual japanese girls (smarter than your gan-gyurls) BUT they all sooner or later go to france or Tokyo! ...my mentioning of france reminds me that finding friends in my year there was actually harder despite being fluent. At least the Js have, in general, an inclination to get to know us. would you find that in London or Paris? dont think so.

well, i ve beeen gone 6 months now. though i m off to saudi next (we'll see!) but I still plan some of winter vacation in japan, skiing and visiting friends. ...if saudi falls thru, back to Japan!
thats the danger of you getting attached to japanese and them to you and a reason to keep things just on the surface.

still if you want real friends you just gotta "imbed" yourself in something spefific (PC club, hiknig/climbing group, but nothing too nerdy) . If you look for spiritual itimacy in Roppongi, Eigo language exchange or yakitori shops, you aint gonna find it. icon_wink.gif

[tjpnz2000]

I am very hesitant about posting in this thead. Most of the posts here have a negative bent to them and my stated aim is to not be negative. If I didn't like living in Japan or the Japanese I would leave.

However....

I am an English teacher from New Zealand.

I realised a few days ago that the difference between my Japanese friends and my gaijin friends is that I would never feel comfortable saying to any Japanese person I know the following;

`I hear what you are saying, I understand and respect your point of view. But I think you are completely wrong`.

I just could not say it. I also feel that no Japanese person I know would be able to say the above to me.

The reason is that I perceive that the act of disagreement is considered tactless in itself. That no matter the language used, to openly disagree would cause offense. I don't feel that I should knowingly cause offense in someone elses country, if this cost me my desire to be honest so be it.

Here are my questions:

Is it me? Would the wording I have used above be considered rude, tactless or offensive by anyone?

Is it a language issue? If I spoke good enough Japanese or the Japanese friend spoke good enough English would this be a problem?

Is it a case of knowing the person well enough and establishing the needed level of trust for disagreement?

Am I completely wrong?

T

[homersimpson]

[tjpnz2000]

Ok, lets change that to `I respect that you are entitled to you have a point of view and that for you this point of view is valid` and go from there.

An example, One of my friends from New Zealand said that they liked the movie Pearl Harbour and asked my opinion. My response was that I thought it was one of the worst movies ever made.

A friend in Japan asked me the same thing and my response was; smile, pause `Uhm... a little`. I told a complete lie because I did not want to give offense. We were talking about a movie, not a matter of great import I would have thought

In New Zealand this would be considered very bad behavior, in Japan I do it all the time and I don't think I am the only one.

I don't think you have addressed the point of my post homersimpson. Please don't feel the need to be polite, speak you mind!

T

[homersimpson]

Sorry about that. There is an obvious cultural difference. Us (Western) gaijin are often viewed as crybabies b*tching about everything. That's not to say you can't be honest about something, especially something as superficial as Pearl Harbor (the movie, not the attack). I suppose it depends on how you express yourself. (And as I mentioned in the previous post, the subject matter is relevant). I suppose if a Japanese friend said he/she liked Pearl Harbor and asked me my opinion, I would simply say I didn't care for it. I probably would not say, "It was the worst piece of crap I've ever seen." First of all, it's not necessary to reply to the question, and second, generally speaking, Japanese do not express dislike in such harsh terms. That's not to say they don't express dislikes. And I have no problem answering questions. "Do you like natto/tofu/Bob Sapp/etc.?" "No, I don't." (even if my J-friend does)