Job Discussion Forums

chelsea · Joined: 05 Mar 2003 Posts: 22

I was teaching in Japan the past year and a half and returned home not to long ago, after quitting my job and spending a couple of months traveling. I've been back about a month and a half now, and I still haven't gotten back into the groove of life in the US. I miss Japan and my life there, but at the same time, I remember I felt ready to leave when I quit my job. Looking back on things...everything seemed so much more fun and exciting in Japan. Life in the US is just as it was when I left, and now I feel kind of disconnected from things and "out of the loop". I guess I'm just in a really awkward phase of reverse culture shock right now.

For those of you who have returned to your home countries, how long did it take to feel "normal" again? Have any of you gone back to Japan after coming home? Any advice for getting over the culture shock and re-assimilating back into society?

adalo · Joined: 05 Dec 2004 Posts: 14

I've been back about a month and a half and definitely know what you mean when you say you are "out of the loop."

I see through the America myth of liberty and freedom. America seems rather dull. This would be easier to endure if I could find a decent job. I thought my new-found confidence I got from Japan would translate into some kind of decent job here in the states. Guess I was wrong.

So, I am trying to find a way back to Japan. I'll admit I was often unhappy in Japan. However, I'm pretty sure the root of this unhappiness was my employer. I know enough about the bussiness and have enough connections where I could probably find a more sane employer.

Sorry to ramble. If you want to IM, I can be found on AIM as atrachasis 33

stretch · Joined: 28 Jun 2004 Posts: 59

Well I've been back 3 years now and I know what you're going through. I've almost hated it back here since my return. It has gotten slightly easier after my return but not much. I've been back 2x already on long vacations.
Don't know what to say but I guess for some of us life might be better overseas. To me it felt more like home there than here. Oh well, have to play the cards you're dealt.
My best suggestion to deal with it is to stay connected somehow with studying, letters to friends in japan etc.
Hmmm...I guess I didn't really help much, but hey you aren't alone. FWIW, my reverse culture shock was seriously 10x as bed as my initial culture shock in arriving in Japan.

SEndrigo · Joined: 28 Apr 2004 Posts: 437

You guys seem to miss Japan quite a bit....I don't want to intrude, but why did you leave in the first place?

If you hated your job, you could have found another one and renewed your visa.

IMO, life is too short to be hating it...if you enjoyed it that much, you should come back !

Sherri · Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 1:54 am Post subject:

I've been back for just over a year. I lived in Japan for almost 14 years and before that I lived in London for 10. You do the math, I lived outside the US longer than I lived in it. In any case I am so happy to be back. I love living here (Hawaii) and I love NOT living in Japan. I never want to live in Japan again, for many, many reasons. We visited once for a week and I felt sick as I arrived in drab, unwelcoming Narita.

I think in the case of the people who miss Japan, you didn't stay long enough. If there is still something for you to learn or get out of the experience--go back! I think I stayed about 3 years too long and got sick of the place.

I have not experienced so-called reverse culture shock. Sometimes I am surprised when people passing by are speaking English to each other (even when they look Asian). I am mostly relieved that life has got a lot more pleasant and easier in almost all aspects of my life.
Regards
Sherri

Speed · Joined: 04 Jul 2003 Posts: 152 Location: Shikoku Land

I've lived in Japan off and on for about 12 years. Like you Chelsea, it was the States that I always returned to.

After going back to Cali a few years ago, I did a very HONEST assessment as to which country I found myself more happy living in.

After deciding that it was Japan, I've put 100% of my efforts into setting myself up to live here for the short tem (getting a job, re-establishing residency in Japan etc.) and for the long term (saving money, establishing permanent residency, making connections, scoping out places to buy a home, paying into a pension plan etc.).

You have to go where your heart is and do whatever it takes to make it happen.

Good luck.

PS. You might want to give your 'reverse culture shock' at least 3-6 months to dissipate. That's usually how long it took for me. Getting a job, staying physically active, making new friends and/or working on another degree also helps.

SEndrigo · Joined: 28 Apr 2004 Posts: 437

Hi Sherri,

I had no idea you had lived in London...if you don't mind my asking, how would you compare the UK to Japan?

Your comment on Narita being drab and unwelcoming is quite funny!

I've been here just over a year and I don't plan on living here forever...but there are still some things for me to see and do, so that's why I've stayed.

TokyoLiz · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1548 Location: Tokyo, Japan

I, too, suffered intense culture shock returning from rural Japan to urban Canada. Fortunately, I found work, a home and a boyfriend within 4 weeks of returning to my hometown, all of which distracted me from the feelings of dislocation and loss I was experiencing. My boyfriend at the time had also lived abroad for a few years in another language, and was as a result, sympathetic to my situation. Also, I went right into a job at an international ESL school, which kept me plugged into Japanese youth culture via my students who quickly became friends.

You gotta give it a few months before you can definitively say that you're homesick for Japan. I realized at the year mark that I had more business with Japan. Another year and I made it back here, to a different region.

Sherri · Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 9:32 am Post subject:

bshabu · Joined: 03 Apr 2003 Posts: 200 Location: Kumagaya

I too have return to the USA and returned again to Japan. My first stay in Japan was for nine months as a collage student. Life wasn't easy with limited income, but it was the greatest time of my life.

After returning to the USA, I was depressed and had a severe case of reverse culture shock. My solution was to get a language partner at one of the local collages. They told me of a language school that the Japanese students go to get their TOEFL scores high enough for one of the big Unis in the area. Thank God they were many looking for language exchange and someone to cart them around and do things.

I made 4 friends that way in the 2 1/2 years it took me to get back to Japan. It was nice that make Japanese friends. I took them shopping and all that stuff. They help me out wit my Japanese studies. We all had a great time. I even taught one to drive(in the USA). She had a J-license, but needed to learn the rule of the road in the USA. I was grateful for their friendship.

denise · Joined: 23 Apr 2003 Posts: 3419 Location: finally home-ish

Chelsea--

You�re looking into an MA, right? Maybe you will find that it is not the country itself, but rather being disconnected from your EFL lifestyle, that you don`t like.

When I returned to the US (not from Japan, though...), I went straight back into grad school and was thus surrounded by fellow teachers who had lived abroad, taught abroad, and had some of the same experiences that I�d had. Plus, they were more internationally aware than the stereotypical American is! I felt perfectly comfortable in that environment.

I agree with the posters who have said to give it time--a few months, at least, so that you can pinpoint exactly what it is that is bothering you.

d

adalo · Joined: 05 Dec 2004 Posts: 14

I am honestly touched by all of your posts. You are renewing my faith in forums!

In retrospect, I think I left Japan because I didn't make enough of an effort to integrate into the culture, get Japanese friends, learn the language, etc. Working eikaiwa hours was hell for that, for me at least. I also was unable to go to a gym or practice a martial art.

Why didn't I get a job with interac or such? Well, there were family problems back home and to be honest, I was tired. Tired. The job sucked all my energy and soul. I needed a LONG break.

Now, with no good career prospects the open sea is calling me. I am thinking Thailand for the CELTA then Korea. I like Japan, but it seems to me the TEFL industry is kind of drying up...

Long term plan is to return to America and get my PhD in Transpersonal Psychology. The money made abroad will help me cancel my current debts and get me started in the PhD program. That is if I will really want to come back...

fizayded · Joined: 17 Apr 2004 Posts: 46 Location: Machida, Tokyo

ahh good thread, just told people today I was leaving Japan in 4 months

Celeste · Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 11:57 pm Post subject:

I have been back in Canada for about 6 weeks now, and it is hard. I have some employment, but I am not full time permanent at the moment, and we are doing renovations to the house that are causing me to not to be able to focus on the job hunt. I knew this would happen, but it is stressful. I am having moments of anxiety and discomfort when out and about in the world trying to remember the right way to take a bus here, the right way to order coffee here, some kind of small talk to make while getting a haircut here, and other insanely inconsequential things. I find I have nothing to say a lot of the time, even when I am around friends and family. It is beautiful here. My commute is 5 minutes door to door and there are more trees than people on my property (5 trees in the yard- 4 people in my house). I appreciate the fact that my co-workers all take sick days and I could do the same if I fell ill. I love that it is okay to have leisure time here. I miss Japan a lot though. I am getting worried about losing my Japanese (I will be starting classes near the end of the month). I know that all of this will resolve itself as time goes on, but right now it can take me by surprise and make me feel like I shouldn't have left Japan. I know that this was the right decision for me and my husband, though. Our goals were not compatible with staying in Japan any longer.

Jizzo T. Clown · Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:35 am Post subject:

I was in Osaka for a year and then returned home to the States to pursue a career in business (what type of business, I had no idea). That lasted for about four months, working a 9 to 5 job and barely being able to make ends meet. So I thought that maybe it was being abroad that I missed, and not Japan in particular. I then headed to China and taught there for a year, and have since begun work on my ESL endorsement so I can teach in public schools in America.
Now I'm working for the university teaching Japanese students, and I really miss being in Japan. I especially miss the active lifestyle, the food, the politeness, the beer, and the public transport (not having to have a car rocks!). There were things I didn't like there, like occasional racism or the pollution, or teeny-bopper women, or getting my bike stolen, but the one thing that made me want to leave in the first place was the job (Nova). I do find America to be quite boring, and seeing American culture through the eyes of someone who's been abroad for two years is disconcerting. I made some lasting friendships in Japan and now I plan to return next Fall and stay until I get it out of my system!