Job Discussion Forums

[denise]

As I write this, I am experiencing a very mild allergic reaction (allergic to nuts--very annoying on an already limited vegan diet!). It is much less severe this time than on previous occasions. I`ve lived with this problem all my life, and I generally know what to do/how worried to get. This time, I am not remotely worried. Still, one of my poor roommates kept insisting on taking me to the hospital immediately. I got off the hook when I accepted an allergy pill from her, but still, she seemed really upset, and called her parents to ask them what to do. I`ve had students worry about me not being able to eat, me living in a country away from family and friends, me taking weekend trips my myself, and even going into a cafe by myself--one of my students escorted me in one day just so that I wouldn`t have to walk in alone! They worry about me far more than I worry about myself. I am perfectly used to living alone, traveling alone, surviving as a vegan, and dealing with allergies.

Do you find people fussing over you as well? Is it universal? More common for women? Single women? Certain countries? Young people? I am almost 30 (older than the young ones in the EFL field, but young enough for many of my adult students to be older than me). Is it a cultural thing? Are we westerners really all that independent? We can pack up and move half a world away and live quite contently, whereas so many cultures are so much more tied to the family and the community.

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[spiral78]

I lived on my own for four months in Croatia, and was driven nearly insane by well-meaning neighbors. It's just not normal in that culture for anyone to do anything alone (perhaps toileting is the single exception - I hope!). I had carefully selected a house to rent (had a ton of writing that I needed to focus on in my hard-earned free time) as versus an apartment. My landlady immediately began pressuring me to move in with them in their small apartment in Split, and to just use the house on weekends, when they would be in their apartment nearby. I didn't take them up on the offer. I went to the shore daily, and would carefully scan for locals peering at me from their nearby houses. Maximum length of time it took for someone to come to speak to me: 10 minutes. According to them, I needed a hat ("here, you can have my old one") I needed sunscreen, I needed a towel, I needed something or other I TOTALLY didn't need.... One weekend a false rumor swept the village that I'd been robbed in Split, and I spent almost six hours explaining to 30 different people that it hadn't happened. The day I got a postcard from the States, I was told by no less than twelve different people on my way home on the bus from Split. Thank goodness I didn't get sick!!
Loved living there, loved the culture, loved the truly very kind and caring people, and would have loved the isolation, if I'd been allowed to!!

[dmb]

I used to live in a small village of 2000 people and loved it. Everybody knew who I was. Often elederly neighbours would drop by with pots of delicious Turkish cuisine. When the electricity went off(Happened often) they bring me round candles, same when the water went off, they would bring round bottles of water.
Now living in Istanbul I just blend in with the area(even with red hair and blue eyes) If I ever need anything then Turkish friends and students go out of their way to help. It's part of the culture though.

[JDYoung]

I'm an older, widowed woman teaching in China. I'm overwhelmed with concern. Sometimes it drives me close to bonkers. I've had to accept some things that I really don't like. I hate umbrellas. I'd rather use a raincoat or get wet but the slightest sprinkle sends a wave of students and staff running to cover my head with a variety of umbrellas even at the expense of their often more expensive and delicate clothing. I understand that they would lose face terribly if a foreigner got wet when they had an umbrella that could have prevented such a catastrophe. I can now, after well over a year, accept with seeming good grace.

The staff at the school are used to me now but nobody thinks I wear enough clothes if the temperature is below 25C. Reminding them that I'm Canadian helps. This winter I'll have another batch of students fussing over me until, maybe, they get used to the crazy Canuck.

[dmb]

Thanks JD, your post made me laugh. When I lived in the small village I got weird looks because I had wet hair. Wet hair= just had a shower= just recently had sex. All the locals wondered who I was having sex with at 7 in the morning.

[denise]

Aaaah, yes, the wet hair issue. No matter what the weather is like or how many heaters we�ve got going indoors, apparently I will catch a cold if I don`t immediately blow dry my hair.

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[ls650]

[dmb]

Good question. I don't know

[Justin Trullinger]

Yes- many places the locals make a BIG fuss over foreigners. I find that this is more true in small towns than anyplace urban. Here in Quito, there isn't a huge expat community, but there are enough foreigners about that I'm not too much of a novelty.

About the wet hair- A weird custom that I haven't seen elsewhere is that here, men often wet their hair to comb it. Constantly. My male Ecuadorian colleagues are forever coming out of the restroom with wet hair. I wonder if they've been...oh, never mind.

Baldness is not too common amongst mestizo or indigenous people, so all the children are constantly wanting to touch my head. Some adults, too.

Regards,
Justin

[Jyulee]

Here in Madrid, the locals couldn�t care less if a foreigner got their hair wet. It�s a bit like London in that respect - "You�re foreign - so what?"

To be honest, I kind of like it this way - it�s nice to have attention, but it has to be for the right reasons. Being (and/or looking) foreign doesn�t seem deserving enough for me.

[Jizzo T. Clown]

JD, I hear ya! In China, every time it was a bit nippy out, any Chinese person in sight would tell me that I wasn't wearing enough clothes. I told them that I was an adult and that I could dress myself. Also, any time I caught the slightest cold or flu bug, my Chinese boss would insist that I spend two to three days in the hospital on I.V.'s. My students would tell me that I didn't drink enough water, and the Chinese staff said the reason I was sick was because I slept with the air conditioner on at night...they also said that it's "good for health" to be hot in the summer and cold in the winter, but I think that's just them justifying the fact that they couldn't afford air or heat.

[dmb]

btw, the wet hair is an Islamic thing. Clean yourself after sex

[JDYoung]

Ah, the things that are "good for health". I've been told that silk worm larvae are especially good for women's health. I've had them steamed and I've had them barbecued. They still have the taste and texture of grainy library paste.

[anthyp]

[Ben Round de Bloc]