Job Discussion Forums

[The Dog Ate My Keitai]

I'm just full of observations the past two weeks. Here's one that I've been thinking about recently.

Have you ever noticed that Japanese people are extremely proud of their snacks (especially regional specialties) and insist that you *must* try them?

My favorite situation is when I'm sitting in the staff room and one of the ladies comes by with a box of "omiyage" from a parent or student. Even though they usually realize that my Japanese is more than adequate for common situations, they break into some broken English.

"This..... is.... Japanese.... sweets...." Then she turns to one of the other teachers, **"Ee to... Nan da ke. Eigo de, 'manju' wa nan desu ka"

To which I reply, ***"Aa. Honto ni, daijobu desu ne. Wakarimashta. Manju ga tabeta kota ga arimasu."

"EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

Following such an interaction, they insist I have some. When I refuse, they assume I don't like their snacks.

"What, you don't like this snack?"

"No, I like it just fine. I just don't want one right now."

"EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! But.... Why don't you like this snack?"

"I said I like it just fine, but I just don't care to have any at the moment."

She looks at her co-worker, speaking as though I can't understand what they are saying. "How can this be? He says he likes it but he doesn't want any. I don't get it."

"Me neither. They're delicious."

The longer I stay in Japan, and the more Japanese I understand and speak, the more I feel alienated from the culture. You'd think it would be the opposite. Back home, if someone offers you a chocolate and you refuse, they don't give it a second thought. Never would you have people immediately assume you dislike chocolate. They would just figure that you weren't in the mood for having one.

I guess it could be a scene in some kind of mafia show. (Imagine the Italian-American gangster's accent here).

VINNY: Hey. Ya wanna chocolate?
GUIDO: Nahh. I'm good.
VINNY: Whadaya mean yer good? Have a chocolate.
GUIDO: Nahh. I said I'm good.
VINNY: Hey. Tony. Guido just said he don' like chocolate.
TONY: Yo Guido! Why you don' like chocolate?
GUIDO I didn' say I don' like chocolate. I said I don' wanna no chocolate.
TONY: What'sa madda wit you? Everyone likes chocolate!
GUIDO: I said I like da chocolate. I jus' don' wan any right now, capiche?
VINNY: I don' get dis guy. He sez 'e likes chocolate but when ya give im one he says no. What's up wit dat?
GUIDO: Okay! Okay! Just lay offa da chocolate! Look, I'll take a chocolate, see? There. Ya happy? I took da chocolate. Now fuggedaboudit, a'right?
VINNY: Jeez, man! Woudja get dis guy? You offer him a chocolate an' he goes nuts!
TONY: Ya just can't please some people, y'now what I'm sayin'?

Honestly, I don't blame people for trying to show me something unique that I may never have tried before. That's fine... But when it becomes a peep show... Look everyone! Come gather around. He's about to try his very first bite of mochi! So? So? What do you think? That's when it starts to get a little annoying.

The strangest thing I've experienced in Japan so far is the fact that people don't seem to differentiate between a foreigner who just came off the plane and one who's lived here for a number of years. I mean, do WE do this too when we're in our home countries? (I don't mean that as a rhetorical question... Do we really do that too? Is it human nature or is it culture-specific?)

Anyway, thanks for reading, people. I wan't trying to rant or anything -- I'm just trying to understand this culture a bit better is all.

**Uhhh... Letsee.... How do you say 'manju' in English?
***It's Ok. Really. I understood what you said. I've had 'manju' before.

[JaredW]

From what I learned about Japanese people, you take the damn thing and eat it even if you barf.

[PAULH]

[ndorfn]

I think the thing is, it's rare that a Japanese person refuses something that's offered. Loads of times students will accept a coffee, chewing gum, whatever I'm having, then not eat/drink it.

just part of the culture. next time accept and save for later I reckon.

and don't take it all so seriously.

[Lynn]

[Sweetsee]

I would say, "When in Rome...".

[guest of Japan]

I thought your post was funny. If you're looking for advice then, just take it and save it for later. My wife gets so much omiyage that way.

[denise]

I thought it was funny, too. Aaaaah, the memories of Japan... I`ve got a wacky diet (vegan), and most people knew it, so they would go out of their way to find or make things that I could eat. Such amazing kindness! My ikebana sensei always had manju or some such thing, and for staff birthday parties, while everyone else ate cake, there would be a special little plate that said "for Denise" with mochi or manju or something. It was really touching. There were times when I was offered stuff that I could not eat, and on such occasions I would take the snack, say thank you, wait until the giver had left, and give it to a friend.

d

[Gordon]

I thought the post was funny too. I never see Japanese people refuse something, I think that is probably what they see is so difficult to understand.

I take everything and then chuck it later if I don't like it.

[denise]

Not to stray off topic, but...

Gordon, has your photo changed subtly? I remember it being snowier. (That sounds funny--more snowy?)

d

[Gordon]

[The Dog Ate My Keitai]

No, you're right. I'm not looking for advice, really. I know fairly well how to act appropriately and politely within a Japanese cultural context -- and indeed, the correct thing to do is to smile, take the damn snack, even if you don't stuff it in your mouth right away. I've done this myriads of times. If they ask at that point why I'm not eating it, I usually just say I'm saving it for my afternoon tea break (or something equally ridiculous). That works quite well for me. But, it doesn't mean I understand WHY the heck I'm doing it though... At the same time, I don't think the Japanese themselves know WHY they have certain cultural quirks either.

My post, (like my last one) was a weak attempt at humour -- and a way to just get something off my chest. It wasn't necessarily a plea for advice. I'm glad some people were able to spot that.... And glad too that at least someone thought it was somewhat amusing.

Have a great day, everyone!

Mmmmm.... Omiyage! Can't wait!

[ronin]

If you knew anything about Japanese culture like you pretend that you do then you take the dam thing! Sorry but you are just an armature like many of us when it comes to Japanese culture. And have you ever thought that the reason why the Japanese talk to you in broken English is because your Japanese is not that good? You have to understand something about Japanese people they are not going to tell you to your face that your Japanese language ability sucks and that you are a rude gaijin for not excepting their offer? On the outside they will be all nice to you but in the inside they will be saying "What a rude guy who thinks he is the greatest thing in world! and his Japanese sucks"

[The Dog Ate My Keitai]

And here's me, thinking: "Boy, what a rude guy this ronin is for taking what was supposed to be a lighthearted post so seriously." Really -- don't let this ruin your day or raise your blood pressure!

In any event, my Japanese isn't so good (i never said it was, ronin -- I said it was adequate for common situations) but very few Japanese people give you credit for even trying. For example, if someone says something to me in Japanese very quickly, I will ask them to repeat it slower. The IMMEDIATE knee-jerk response is to make a painful attempt at translating it. Hello? I didn't ask for a translation, I just asked you to say it again more slowly so I can catch it this time. Funny thing is, most of the Japanese teachers I've had do the same thing. She says something to me, I try to decipher it, and Bob's your uncle, you get the English translation immediately after. Well, it's no wonder I can't learn it then. Whatever. That's not what my post was about anyway. Nor was it about what the Japanese people must think in their minds about me or my Japanese skills... It was my commentary on the rift between Japanese and (North) American culture -- and the fact that I find it humerous sometimes.

For the record, I don't want to "fix" what's wrong with Japan. I don't want people to "fix" what's wrong with me either. All's I need is to express myself once in awhile without people treating what I say as a "definitive guide" that's subject to a thesis defence comprised of a panel of my peers.

If you can't relate to my thoughts -- that's fine. Obviously you must have had different experiences in Japan than I have.

Cheers!

P.S. What does "armature" mean? I've never heard that word... My dictionary has it as a technical term used in electrical engineering or biology. (Confused)....

[Revenant]

Gee I never had any problems...I just say I'm fine in Japanese and there's no trouble there after.

Its all about word choices...