Job Discussion Forums

[JimDunlop2]

Sometimes I think that there are differences even in the humour. What I think is funny is often met with strange stares. Like sarcasm. I haven't met too many Japanese people who can really respond appropriately to sarcasm.

Just today, someone gave me the ol' "you use chopsticks well" comment. For a moment I considered getting a reeeeeallly surprised expression on my face, bulging out my eyes and going, "EEEEHHHH??? I'm using chopsticks?" and acting like I thought I was in reality holding a spoon or a fork. But I reconsidered it quickly, thinking that I'd probably look like a real dweeb if they didn't get the joke...

[Lynn]

[Gordon]

To add to what Lynn said, how can any of us explain the reasoning behind our cultural quirks? We don't usually think about it because our culture is part of our identity and not something we question, but rather accept.

[may be going]

now we are getting into deep philosophical debates here.....^^

but in all honesty, the longer i'm here in japan - granted it's only been 6 months - and observe my univ. students and japanese friends and colleagues, the more i think that many japanese people have no idea why they do anything.

i think it comes down to what one poster said earlier, they just do it. really. ask some students to tell me why such and such is so in japan and invariably you get the whole EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! WHY?????

as if an alien just landed in front of them, they stare blankly forward, mouths agape and eyes abulge, and repeat ad infinitum WHY??? WHY?? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

now this isn't a criticism so anyone out there please don't feel the need to leap to the defense.

i am sure there ar emany explanations which could rationalise it all but it still doesn't remove the fact that for the most part, a high number of japanese people i believe, do not think beyond what is in front of them. they care not why it is in front of them or how it got there, they just care that it's there.

[Sweetsee]

You are not supposed to ask WHY, everybody knows that.
Ignorance is bliss. Or is it?

[markle]

and the tragedy is that after awhile they will get the impression there is no point offering you anything and you wil never be offered anything ever, ever again.

Then how would you feel then.

[freddie's friend daniel]

Just to add a few worthless words...

I did the Johnnie Hillwalker tour of Kyoto yesterday and we ended up in a little place famous for its beancakes. We all filed in for our tea and beancake and this English guy in front refused his beancake. Thinking he didn't know that he was supposed to take one, the girl behind the counter tried to hand him one, at which point this guy almost shouted at her, "taberaremasen". Since most of the tour group were just visitors to Japan, my theory is that he might have been trying to impress with his obviously superb Japanese skills (I'm even more inclined to think this because he kept asking other people, "Do you speak Japanese? Do you speak Japanese? I do"). Even if my theory is incorrect, he made a total a*se of himself for refusing a little sweet like that. The girl behind the counter was later discussing it with her colleague, saying how this guy had refused to try their delicious produce and how weird he was.

I still have another few worthless words to get rid of...

We had a compa here at home for a few grad students and we of course provided beer. The beer was offered and accepted by all of the students but it soon because clear that one of them couldn't stand the stuff and had accepted only of out form and so that she had something to kanpai with. At the prices they charge here for a can of beer, my husband could have wept at the sight of that lonesome, rejected glassfull.

[Gordon]

Freddie, it is extremely rude to not accept drinks, especially alcohol. I don't drink, but at every official staff party and bonenkai I accept a glass of beer out of obligation. Maybe your husband can come in my place next time.

[Sage]

Shrug...

If I don't like somehing I don't take it. There is a big difference between declining something and being an ass about declining.

As for me I hate beer and I refuse to have one go to waste by accepting it and not drinking it. I tell people I don't like beer and ask for a water or a coke or something to kanpai with and no one has ever been the slightest bit offended. And who is going to go out and not order anything and sit there dry while everyone else is drinking whatever? Eh?

If someone offered me whale I'd decline it and be pissed off.

[Bozo Yoroshiku]

[ndorfn]

Don't be afraid to be different, no matter where you are. the fact that you're a forienger in japan doesn't mean that cultural sensitivity has to stop you from being an individual.

as a vegetarian, I'm often refusing stuff, as I do anywhere else in the world. as long as you explain your reasons logically and politely, no worries.

[denise]

[The Dog Ate My Keitai]

Well, the case is similar with someone who doesn't drink. I personally know several people in Japan who don't drink alcohol for religious reasons and at least one other for health reasons. Simply put, they've had a devil of a time trying to explain this to the locals when they get invited to an "enkai." But I don't see why they should have to sacrifice their beliefs out of cultural sensitivity either.

Apparently, times are changing, as are peoples' attitudes. Nowadays, at enkais, (in my area) I'd say that at least 50% drink Oolong tea (often even the kocho and kyoto aren't drinking), and NO ONE looks at you funny for not drinking. A few years ago, according to my friends, it was VERY difficult to convince them that they couldn't even touch the stuff.

Even me, I don't like to always drink. Whenever I get people almost "forcing" a glass of something into my hand, and I (politely) refuse, they get ready to start giving me a hard time -- but I immediately tell them that I drove to the event and that I'm the designated driver.... At which point, all but the most hardcore drinker usually lays off in a hurry and is satisfied that I'm holding a glass of coke instead.

I also know vegetarians, people with allergies, and even a Jewish guy or two who keep kosher (NOT easy to do in Japan, BTW). All of these people need to have a firm stance when it comes to being offered things, and telling them not to come to Japan is not the right solution either.

I think given enough time, people will slowly come around -- especially the younger generation, who has a lot more exposure now than ever before to foreigners and the outside world via. satellite and cable TV, movies, music videos, etc.

BTW, in response to Freddie's comment, I agree -- the English guy behaved like an a$$. Maybe he didn't mean to, but he did. Some people don't realize just how forceful they come across. But even if he did know, I've found that some people become proud of their dislikes, allergies, whatever, and turn them into banners, waving them everywhere, shouting: "Look at me, everyone! I can't eat nuts!!!" (Or whatever the case may be)....That's different too though. That's people looking for attention and trying to feel special.

[Gordon]

When the owner of the university has a bottle of beer in his hand to pour in my glass (happens every December), I just take the darn thing. For lesser mortals, if someone offers me a beer, I decline.

[6810]

I'm vegetarian in Japan and find it quite easy.

I have dealt with disbelief, ridicule etc... but I've dealt with all that back home. And as for dealing with it in Japan, my answer to anyone who asks is usually "So..?".

As for snacks, by and large, I love 'em. Being veg means I never eat stinky stuff like shrimp crackers (ebi-sembei, yukari etc) So I am at a real loss as to why one wouldn't feed this stuff to the dog rather than oneself...