| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
taikibansei
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Posts: 811
Location: Japan
|
 Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 6:23 pm Post subject: |
 |
|
| guest of Japan wrote: |
| As for Gordon's latest comment, my wife is Japanese and she can't wait to leave. Of course she works in a finance company in Tokyo and is real stressed out. |
Also, if I remember correctly, there are no little Guests running around yet. My wife, who initially wanted to live in the States, changed her thinking with the birth of our first child...and never changed back!
| Quote: |
| Speaking of which, my wife's green card interview will be early in January. Everything else has gone smoothly and from what I understand the interview is mostly a formality. |
Our full interview (we were both interviewed together for some reason):
Interviewer: "Are you Mrs. Taikibansei?"
Wife: "Yes, I think so."
Me: "Yes, she is."
Interviewer: "When will you go to the States?"
Wife: "Next month."
Interview: "Cool." Stamps form....
| Quote: |
| We're about to sign a lease for a small apartment in Boston for a March move. |
Good luck on the move! |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Sherri
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Posts: 749
Location: The Big Island, Hawaii
|
| Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 8:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Guest
When we went for our "interview" which means just stepping up to a window, I could already see the approved stamp on our application.
Good luck, taikibansei, it's great that you found your dream job! I hope your wife likes being back in Japan and that you do too. Wild horses could not drag me or my husband back. It is such an individual decision.
Sherri
in warm, sunny Hilo |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
abufletcher
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 779
Location: Shikoku Japan (for now)
|
| Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 10:21 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| My wife's interview for a second green card (after the first was revokes after so many years of living outside the US)was short but efficient. The interview does just take place at a window and it's about like being interviewed by the manager at the local DMV. The young couple who were interviewed just after us had their application denied so it's not absolutely automatic. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
guest of Japan
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 1601
Location: Japan
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:24 am Post subject: |
|
|
Thanks for the advice and stories everyone. I'm not certain exactly, but I think a major difference between now and years past involves the I-864 Affidavit of Support. In years past the I-864 wasn't due until the interview stage. Now it is part of the initual application. According to the emabassy, problems with the I-864 are the single biggest cause of rejection. It was definitely my single biggest headache.
Abufletcher, did you wife do the interview in Japan? It seems to go much more smoothly and quickly here.
I'm not requested to attend the interview. From what I understand, they'll ask a few questions about future plans, ask some simple personal questions like "What color is your husband's toothbrush?", then make you sign a form stating that you are not a terrorist.
Taiki, is your wife certain of the marriage, yet?  You are correct, there are no little guests. That may change things in the future, but I'll only come back if I can get a good job at an international school with free tuition for the little guests. I have become incredibly bitter toward Japan over the last few years and will only come back on my terms (as you are doing).
Sorry to hijack the thread. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
taikibansei
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Posts: 811
Location: Japan
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 2:29 am Post subject: |
|
|
| guest of Japan wrote: |
| Taiki, is your wife certain of the marriage, yet? |
Yeah, both the interviewer and myself were a bit surprised she struggled with that question. She said afterward she was trying to make a joke....not the best timing, let me tell you. 
Of course, if asked over the last few years, she probably would have answered, "No, I've been kidnaped from Japan. Please help me." 
| Quote: |
| That may change things in the future, but I'll only come back if I can get a good job at an international school with free tuition for the little guests. I have become incredibly bitter toward Japan over the last few years and will only come back on my terms (as you are doing). |
It's the only way I could see going back. I was actually interviewed for another job for more money--among other things, during that campus interview, the Dean started screaming at me in English, "I fire you! I fire you today, tomorrow, yesterday. You understand? You Mr. Bye Bye Foreign Person." To which I replied in Japanese, "Uh, you haven't hired me yet...."
There are some weird people/places in Japan, and I'm too old to deal with them. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
guest of Japan
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 1601
Location: Japan
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 3:10 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: |
I was actually interviewed for another job for more money--among other things, during that campus interview, the Dean started screaming at me in English, "I fire you! I fire you today, tomorrow, yesterday. You understand? You Mr. Bye Bye Foreign Person." To which I replied in Japanese, "Uh, you haven't hired me yet...."
|
Both hysterical and bizarre. Maybe it's a form of wabi sabi.
Cheers |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
abufletcher
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 779
Location: Shikoku Japan (for now)
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 5:00 am Post subject: |
|
|
| guest of Japan wrote: |
| According to the emabassy, problems with the I-864 are the single biggest cause of rejection. It was definitely my single biggest headache. |
Ah, yes, the affidavit of support. I had forgotten that nightmare. In prior discussions the embassy official had made it clear that because I did not reside in the US and, therefore, had no US income, I didn't make for a very convincing sponsor. A real catch-22 situation. Anyway, I was advised to file a joint sponsorship which amounted to asking my father to sign some forms and disclose (parts of) his financial situation. Having been married for more than 20 years at that point I found this all fairly gauling.
Don't they GET IT? There ARE Americans who regularly work outside of the country and with great regularity DO marry non-Americans who need some officially recognized status to be able to make those semi-regular trips "home" with the spouse. At present the non-American spouse with a green card has to maintain the fantasy that he or she really does intend to reside permenantly in the US.
| Quote: |
| Abufletcher, did you wife do the interview in Japan? It seems to go much more smoothly and quickly here. |
Yes, this was at the embassy in Tokyo. Let me tell you it was an extremely length and expensive process to complete all the requirements and collect all the documents (for example a letter of non-objection from the police in the Sultanate of Oman). Add to this trips to Kobe (for medical) and to Tokyo (for the interview) and we easily spent $2000 on this process and nearly 8 months. Still, I suppose it beat flying to Mexico City for an interview appointment 9 months in the future.
| Quote: |
| From what I understand, they'll ask a few questions about future plans, ask some simple personal questions like "What color is your husband's toothbrush?" |
My wife was extremely worried about this and so was I. I have to say I don't have a freakin clue what color my wife's toothbrush is or what drawer she keeps her bras in. These questions can all too easily reflect the interviewer's own views of what constitutes normal shared knowledge. But it turned out not to be a problem since we made a point of having our two LARGE mixed ethnicity children come with us to the window to make it unmistakably clear that we have been a family for quite some time.
| Quote: |
| I have become incredibly bitter toward Japan over the last few years and will only come back on my terms (as you are doing). |
I'm not exactly bitter towards Japan -- I was just never hyped up about it to start with. It was just the next of a long string of overseas postings. The job was better than my prior job but I was never one of those Japanophiles who studied martial arts or ikebana or poured through manga back home and longed to live in Japan. I try to be perfectly frank about this with students (and others) who ask. They need to know that most expats in any country are just there for financial or professional gain. Americans would do well to understand this lesson about non-Americans in America too.
Also with me it's more like I live IN Japan only on my own terms. I don't try very hard to assimilate to the ways I'm supposed to do things. I do things pretty much however I like to do them -- that's the ultimate freedom of being an expat. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Gordon
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 5309
Location: Japan
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 5:27 am Post subject: |
|
|
| abufletcher wrote: |
| The job was better than my prior job but I was never one of those Japanophiles who studied martial arts or ikebana or poured through manga back home and longed to live in Japan. I try to be perfectly frank about this with students (and others) who ask. |
What are you talking about? Didn't I see those geta at your front door?  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
abufletcher
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 779
Location: Shikoku Japan (for now)
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 5:44 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Gordon wrote: |
| Didn't I see those geta at your front door? |
Oh, yes, those are mine. But I only use them to churn my own peanut butter! You just can't get that Skippy taste from the local stuff. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
guest of Japan
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 1601
Location: Japan
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 7:56 am Post subject: |
|
|
OK Abufletcher you win both the inconvenience and cost competitions. We're looking at a little over $1000 in expenses and lucky for me my wife wants to pay for everything since it is her green card. I guess that's so she won't feel guilty when she gets around to divorcing me.
Like you I had to get my father to co-sponsor. That turned out to not be much of a hurdle. I also had to get tax receipts from the IRS, which took almost 2 months.
The entire process is a pain in the behind.
I didn't come to Japan with any romantic visions or any fixations. There are aspects to Japan and Japanese people that I am quite fond of. The required mindset you need to survive long term in Japan is that Japan is for Japanese people. I have acquired this mindset, and it's made me realize that there is no real good reason for me to be here anymore. The US offers my wife and I possibly better career opportunities and a better quality of life. At the very least it has a legal system which can and will protect its people. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
abufletcher
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 779
Location: Shikoku Japan (for now)
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| guest of Japan wrote: |
| The required mindset you need to survive long term in Japan is that Japan is for Japanese people. I have acquired this mindset, and it's made me realize that there is no real good reason for me to be here anymore. |
This is similar to the decision we came to after 12 years in the Arabian Gulf. We really enjoyed our time there but we just didn't have any personal connection with the region that would justify spending the rest of our working lives there. We tried out Mexico for a couple of years since we can claim some sort of cultural stake there but economically that just wasn't going to work out long term.
There are times when I look at my life in Japan and say to myself that life really can't get much sweeter. Then there are the bad days. But I somehow suspect that the balance of good days and bad days wouldn't be much different if I were in the US.
| Quote: |
| The US offers my wife and I possibly better career opportunities and a better quality of life. At the very least it has a legal system which can and will protect its people. |
I can't honestly say that the US offers either me or my wife better career opportunities or a better quality of life. And seen through my Mexican wife's eyes I get to see a good deal of social inequality and prejudice. But the life opportunities for my children are hugely improved. If I could have afforded to have all three of my children attending (good) international schools in Japan I would have had them stay in Japan. Although to be honest after 20-some years overseas my wife was a little worn out with overseas living. It's not exactly something she signed up for when she married me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Vince
Joined: 05 May 2003
Posts: 559
Location: U.S.
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 4:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
Congratulations, Taikibansei.
After a year and a half back in the US, I too am about to start looking for a teaching job in Japan so my J-wife can go back. I'm still working on the MA and am far from fluent in Japanese, so my search will take longer. But with six years of solid teaching experience, I expect to find something worthwhile that will at least hold me over until I finish the MA and improve my Japanese.
My feelings when I left Japan were similar to Guest of Japan's. So many things got under my skin, some of which weren't worth the emotion I expended (I'm not dropping hints here, but just talking about my situation). Once I made the arrangements to come home, all that typical gaijin weight was lifted off my shoulders. Since then I've thought about a lot of things, and I'm confident I'll make a better experience of it this time. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
guest of Japan
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 1601
Location: Japan
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 4:33 am Post subject: |
|
|
I can't believe no one corrected my butchering of the English language. I think the US offers my wife and me possibly better career opportunities.
Good luck on your return to Japan Vince. The trouble with feelings is that they are not always logical. I can't shake the negativity. Perhaps living in the US again will alter my thinking. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
abufletcher
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Posts: 779
Location: Shikoku Japan (for now)
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 1:44 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| guest of Japan wrote: |
| The trouble with feelings is that they are not always logical. I can't shake the negativity. Perhaps living in the US again will alter my thinking. |
One thing to sort out is to what degree this negativity towards Japan is just a general negativity towards the trials and endless petty frustrations of life outside one's native culture. I've lived in 6 different countries now and in each country you hear expats expressing pretty much the same sentiments and making the same comments directed at whatever happens to be the local culture and/or people.
There's also what I'll call "short-timers" syndrome where this negativity kicks into overdrive the moment the mental decision is made to leave the country. Suddenly, things you could put up with yesterday become absolutely intolerable.
And why is it that so many ex-expats end up returning overseas again after only a couple of years overseas? I think to a large extent this is motivated both by a disillisionment that the wonderful home culture is not as wonderful as it was always held up to be and also that once the expat is back home, he or she is just another average Joe (or Joanne).
If I could find an equivalent position in another country I'd be gone in flash. Japan's been fun but no more fun than anyplace else I've been and there are certainly many many MANY other fun countries still out there. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
taikibansei
Joined: 14 Sep 2004
Posts: 811
Location: Japan
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| guest of Japan wrote: |
| The trouble with feelings is that they are not always logical. I can't shake the negativity. Perhaps living in the US again will alter my thinking. |
I don't know about that--my own frustrations with living in Japan (workplace discrimination being a major one) still seem both very valid and very logical to me. It's just that, at least in my case, and despite having a job many would kill for, the frustrations with living in the States (weak local school systems in most areas, very inadequate health insurance coverage for even state employees, dissatisfaction with many federal government policies, etc.) have been almost as great. Throw in an unhappy wife, and you have the planned return of Taikibansei to Japan.
I think it's really going to depend on how satisfied you'll be if/when you achieve those career possibilities. Keep in mind, you'll not be returning to the same US--and the changes have not all been positive.... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
