Job Discussion Forums

[kdynamic]

This discussion kind of got started in another thread but I didn't want to go off topic over there so I started a new one.

Anyway, lately I have just been exausted by constantly being treated like a freak. Constantly being stared at. Constantly being asked stupid questions. I have friends and coworkers that treat me like a normal human being, but whenever we go anywhere it starts all over with the staring and pointing.... I know Japan has serious legal and social problems with racism. But I am talking more about the everyday sort of things. The things you can't escape even if you're not dealing with renting an apartment or finding a job or becoming a citizen or any of the other big junctures where it crops up. I am talking about going to the supermarket, riding the train, just doing your job at work.

The things is, this is NOT a surprise to me. I'm not a Japan newbie. I know this topic has been gone over a thousand times. But what I can't figure out is why is it bothing me more and more instead of less and less? I plan to be here a little while longer... is it just going to keep getting worse? I know I am not going to change Japan, but how do I change myself so it doesn't bother me? I know culture shock and adjusting is a long and cyclical process with ups and downs, but I don't think I wil ever learn to simply accept racism and prejudice. So what do I do? Have any other people gone through coming to terms with this, thought they were doing ok with it, and then BAM been hit with it all over again? That's how I am feeling.

[JimDunlop2]

I feel for ya, man! I get that sensation too sometimes... But let me ask you this: do you live in a rural area? do you look unusual?

If you live in a place where foreigners are uncommon, you will certainly get the stares, annyoing questions, etc... Much more so than in a larger city where you are just another face in the crowd.

Also, if you look somehow unusual could certainly be part of it. Are you taller than 6 feet (193cm) or heavier than an average Westerner? Do you wear your hair in an unusual style or colour? Body piercings? Tattoos?

I must say, that even though I have gotten my share of looks, comments, questions, etc... Overall it hasn't been so significant. I am caucasian, have dark brown hair, 193 cm and average build... I can't say that I've felt like a freak show too often, thankfully.

Nevertheless, it definitely sucks to be in that position, and I hope it gets better for you soon.

[JimDunlop2]

Sorry.. Couldn't resist...

GIS for "freak" yields.......

[kdynamic]

I am pretty normal looking... dark hair and eyes, get mistaken for Japanese from the back sometimes. I try to blend in a little. I dress conservatively.

Yes, I think being in a small town is the biggest factor. I never had this big a problem with it when I lived in a bigger city. But it happens all over Japan. A particularly blatant example happened recently at the Chubu International Airport. It's an international airport and they still treat non-Japanese that way! I feel it even when I travel to a big city like Tokyo, Nagoya, or Osaka.

I am aware that I am sensitive to it too. I notice it even when it's subtle enough that I could concievabley ignore it. This increased sensitivity is part of this whole phase of it bothering me more. So my question remains - what do I do about it? How do I live my daily life without letting it get to me? Will I simply cycle back into it not bothering me as much eventually?

[PAULH]

[Zzonkmiles]

I am currently in my third year of living in Japan, but I took a short trip back home to recharge my battery a few weeks ago. When I came back to Japan, I thought I felt refreshed, but it didn't take long for me to start feeling something similar to what the original poster is experiencing.

Yes, I too understand culture shock and isolation and language barriers and whatnot. In my case, I think I've dealt with the challenges in Japan quite nicely and can get by in the language fairly well. But I think I've reached a point where I simply am not so sure I want to deal with it anymore. It's not that I can't, but rather that I don't want to.

There are many effective ways to deal with being asked if you can use chopsticks. But that doesn't mean I like having to deal with it in the first place.

There are many effective ways to deal with being stared or pointed at. But that doesn't mean I like having to deal with it in the first place.

My coworkers were marveling at my hanko (with a katakana imprint, just like most of yours) yesterday even though they've seen it several times before. I could effectively handle all their "sugois" and whatnot, but that doesn't mean I like hearing it.

When I originally came to Japan, I fell in love with the place and have generally had a positive experience here. But now I can feel that I am on the tail end of my tenure here. Going back home was the smartest thing I've done here in a while. I guess some of us want to try so hard not to be the guy "who can't hack it here" or the weakling "who can't deal with the culture shock" or whatever that we end up staying here far longer than we should. But look, there's no shame in coming to Japan and winning some battles while losing others. The fact is, you survived. And now maybe it's time to take that next step.

As for me, When I first arrived here, I originally figured I'd be in Japan between 3 and 5 years, and it looks like it will be close to 4 when I finally go back home next year. So I knew my limit. I, too, like Japan and am generally happy here despite its idiosyncracies. But I could also be happy back at home too where I have greater possibilities for career advacement and don't have to worry so much about the day-to-day sideshow of being a strange person in a strange land. So I know it's time for me to wind things down, pack my bags, and go home. Perhaps it's time for you to consider the same thing.

[shuize]

I have a lot of time invested in Japan. My Japanese is solid. I have a good job which is not the year to year variety. Like Zzonkmiles, however, I recently went home for the first time in several years. Man, it was relaxing. If I could get paid anywhere close to what I make here (for the number of hours worked) back in the states, I think I'd jump at the chance. But I know that's never going to happen.

By the way, kdynamic, I remember you mentioned you were thinking of studying in China. I don't know a lot about it, but from what I've heard the concerns you've mentioned in your OP are just as bad if not worse there.