Job Discussion Forums

scot47 · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Posts: 15343

After a while we begin to shrug off the strange questions. Maybe we should record them so the little green beings from Epsilon Centauri can try to make sense of Terra.

What do you make of this one :

' Teacher in your religion are you eat cat ? '

In Standard Interterran that would be :

'Sir, does your religion permit you to eat cats ?'

Any other good ones ?

mouse5 · Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 142

also in saudi · Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 137

Just a few:

"Teacher, Do I abhor you?"

"What mean warthog?"

"Teacher, What mean speak?"

I'll remember more later...

Arab Strap · Joined: 25 Feb 2004 Posts: 246 Location: under your bed

A few gems from my time in Czech Republic:

'I have party in your wife the weekend'

'My wife is good in the chicken' : he meant kitchen

'No teacher, not no hair, not no hair!!!' : in reference to my folically(?) challenged colleague who was taking over from me.

'On the weekend I spent on the cottage in the mountains by my grandmother'

'I like eat apple pee' : he meant pie.

'hand shoes' - gloves.

'sheet with hairs' - blanket.

'My head had a meeting with the ceiling's' : when one of my students bumped his head in a bar during one of our 'social English' lessons.

My personal favourite comes from my dear wife while listening to the Prodigy's 'Smack my bitch up' was heard to sing 'Bash my bishop' which I believe has an altogether different connotation...............I might add she's Czech and her English has improved markedly since then.

KSA-UK · Joined: 03 May 2005 Posts: 31 Location: Sandy Arabia

1. teacher! how much the clock now?

2.Teaching the topic of house chores to saudis, is not an easy task. (For obvious reasons) However it can become extremely interesting for some of them especially when you are teaching the word word "vacuum"...well, as you know for arab students the letters V and F can be a problem, so a couple of idiots in the class thought that having sexual intercourse was a house chore!!! :

teacher!teacher! f--k u?

jamesfromscotland · Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 23

a student pestered me for a whole lesson...how much prostitute scotland.?.kept telling him to grow up but eventually flipped..

" if you want to know go to Scotland"

" I no go bad country"

What can you say?

also in saudi · Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 137

One extremely annoying student kept coming into the office and asking

"Birds of a feather flock together. Is it sexy?"

Another one when asked where he had been for the past month responded:

"I did some work somewhere"

jamesfromscotland · Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 23

Why Britain commit ethnic cleansing Muslims in Bosnia?

Another Brit Muslim told me he had been to the mosque and the imam had told him US celebrates killing Brits on July 04 ( despite the fact the American troops were Brit mercenaries and the UK troops were George III Hanoverian troops from Germany) and there are many other days they celebrate killing other nationalities..!

ntropy · Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 671 Location: ghurba

"Teacher, what mean erectile dysfunction?"
(while leafing through a magazine advertising Viagra)

Surprisingly, it started a very interesting cross-cultural discussion of taboo topics

substance · Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Posts: 38

jamesfromscotland · Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 23

go Bahrain..see woman ..drink black?

also in saudi · Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 137

A student showed me a list of answers. He wanted me to provide questions. Much like the TV game show Jeopardy!

One of the answers: "Three-way"

What's the question?

I heard later he was "preparing" for an oral exam to determine his fluency in English and knowledge of his specialty.

The only way he could pass the test would be if someone took it for him.

also in saudi · Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 137

A student showed me a list of answers. He wanted me to provide questions. Much like the TV game show Jeopardy!

One of the answers: "Three-way"

What's the question?

I heard later he was "preparing" for an oral exam to determine his fluency in English and knowledge of his specialty.

The only way he could pass the test would be if someone took it for him.

grahamb · Joined: 30 Apr 2003 Posts: 1945

This one isn't from the KSA, but it's a beauty:
"Did you have breakfast this morning?"
"Yes, I had breastf*ck this morning."

Bebsi · Joined: 07 Feb 2005 Posts: 958

My students asked me on many occasions, "How much you wife buy in your country teacher".

They cheered up immensely and were almost heading to the travel agents when I told them you don't have to pay for a wife.

"You mean wife free, how much air ticket your country teeechr?"

It was great to see such joy on their faces.

It was short lived however, when I told them the rest of it, namely that there is a small catch: the woman you wish to marry must wish to marry you too!

SHOCK...AMAZEMENT....HORROR!!!! "You mean, teeechr, that if woman no want marry you, you no have wife?" They were devastated.

I felt so sorry for them that I offered them some consolation. I told them many western wives were like going down to the local car dealers and getting a car on leasing: you paid hardly any outlay initially, but for many years after that, you paid bit by bit and it cleaned you out in the end. They loved that one Laughing

Mind you, from some of the shopping sprees I've witnessed Saudi women indulging in, marrying one is like buying a BMW: you pay a large wad up front AND fork out for many years thereafter, all for maybe less under the hood than you expected Wink

[Smack on the wrist, Bebsi]