Job Discussion Forums

chrispy · Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 80 Location: Canada

Hi everyone, I was just really curious to know whether people who teach overseas make sacrifices in their romantic lives. I mean some people here love teaching overseas and hardly have gone back home so doesnt that hinder their relationship back home or do they find new love where they are supposedly teaching? I also want to teach overseas for a couple of years but if i happen to really like what I'm doing I might never teach in Canada. I'm not in a relationship as of now but I can't help but feel if I take this route my long term romantic life might be hindered. Especially for the females out there who want to be married and settled in, how do you girls handle it? Would giving up teaching overseas be an option for you guys or meeting someone special while teaching be considerable? Any comments from both genders is welcomed since this does affect males and females

tedkarma · Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:15 am Post subject: Re: Romantic sacrifices

Super Frank · Joined: 03 Feb 2006 Posts: 365

Sorry, "supposedly teaching" is that a thinly veiled attack on the veracity of our careers?? Laughing

Don't worry, if you are not in a relationship then you have nothing to lose unless getting married is your greatest ambition (not saying that that is an unworthy ambition btw).

You might find yourself in Argentina and fall head over heels with a gorgeous latino hunk with long dark hair and big muscles, who can samba and play guitar whilst fixing the engine of a harley davidson and gutting a chicken.

Is that not better than a boring guy from back home who sits in an office all day?

Unless you look like the back end of a bus then true love will find you anywhere (or not if fate dictates otherwise).

I'm being flippant but you know what I'm saying. If the love of my life was at home then I would choose to stay there but as in your case this is not so then be brave and dive in.

tedkarma · Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 10:10 am Post subject:

Geez, if you said "Latina hunk" - h*ll, I'd be ready to go and I am already married . . .

Can fix a Harley?

Super Frank · Joined: 03 Feb 2006 Posts: 365

I just meant good with his hands I think Confused

JZer · Joined: 16 Jan 2005 Posts: 3898 Location: Pittsburgh

Henry_Cowell · Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 3352 Location: Berkeley

Justin Trullinger · Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:23 pm Post subject:

It's a funny thing how we human beings are put together- we really tend to pair off- at home, abroad, in the nursing home...where there's life, there's romance. Doesn't matter where you are.

A lot of people on this forum are happily married- often to people they met while teaching TEFL.

Getting married, settled down, having an oversized mortgage, etc, have never been ambitions of mine. And yet, here I am, in a five year relationship. (We did the same TESOL certificate course.)

I don't look like the back end of a bus, though, and neither does she. (I have occasionally been compared to the back end of a horse, but that's completely different.)

Justin

ls650 · Joined: 10 May 2003 Posts: 3484 Location: British Columbia

MELEE · Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:29 pm Post subject:

mlomker · Joined: 24 Mar 2005 Posts: 378

I've found people that I like in every country that I've traveled in. I guess it'll depend on what you look for in a partner. There are attractive people with good hearts everywhere...if you're looking for a certain social status or educational level then that might limit where you'll find people.

thelmadatter · Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 5:01 pm Post subject: romance

ah yes... sacrificing for love... how quickly we wimmens do that....

this from a nearly-42-year-old who is basically just now starting a career because she "sacrificed" for love... losing 14+ career-productive years because of the needs of a special-needs child and a husband who figured that as long as he brought home a paycheck regularly and didnt beat me (which DID make him a hell of a lot better than his own father) was perfectly fine and didnt need to do a bit more to care for his family. Was also a master of the passive-aggressive game. Why 14 years? Partly because I made excuses for him and partly because I had no family to help me out post-divorce (long story) ... cant exactly have a career-type job when you never know when the next babysitter cant handle your kid anymore.

Am I bitter? Yeah, a bit (but not at my son... not his fault at all)

Funny thing was that my mom also sacrificed for love (quit college to get married) and got nothing but heartache in return too.

Ladies... just be careful... life aint like the movies but yet we seem SOOOO much to want it to be. (Maybe guys sacrifice for love but I have never met one personally... so sorry if I come off offensive... I really dont hate men...)

OK that being said. I have been dating a guy here for about 7 months. I came to Mexico assuming (and you know what happens when you assume) that I would not be dating because everyone in my age bracket would be married (and I dont do married guys). I dont know if its my age range or the fact that I am a foreign, but most guys I have dated here have been some of the most open-minded and savvy (though not always college educated) men I have met. OK ... I have met one or two who figured they could get me in the sack after an hour or so cuz of what they see in the movies about American women, but Ive seen very little of the "machismo" we see in the movies about Latin guys.. ... I figure 40-something guys and/or guys interested in foreign women really have nothing to prove and/or are more flexible in what they want in a relationship. Not sure which factor is more in play here, as I didnt date in Mexico when I was 20-something.

chrispy · Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 80 Location: Canada

thelmadatter said

I figure 40-something guys and/or guys interested in foreign women really have nothing to prove and/or are more flexible in what they want in a relationship.

Could you elaborate on what you mean by flexible?

danielita · Joined: 06 Mar 2006 Posts: 281 Location: SLP

yeah, because if by flexible you mean bendy, than I am going to think twice about bringing my husband with me!! Wink

thelmadatter · Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 9:21 pm Post subject: flexibility

LOL daniela... I do have a thing for male gymnasts due to their flexibility but I meant something else. There seems to be a lot less of the "me man - you woman" mentality... meaning that we have to play certain rigid roles... and be honest... most (if not all) of us play more traditionally then most of us would like to admit.

For example in my current relationship, we split almost everything 50-50 and/or we take turns paying. If we disagree on something, we are not above using "rock-paper-scissors" Laughing

That kind of thing.