Job Discussion Forums

luckyloser700 · Joined: 24 Mar 2006 Posts: 308 Location: Japan

This forum has gotten a little boring lately so here goes:

What has been your experience with Japanese members of the opposite sex (or the same if that's the way you swing) while living in Japan? I'm not talking about friendships here; I'm talking about anything from dating to full-blown relationships. Lots of details would be much appreciated, but none of the sordid ones; don't want this thread locked before it gets started.

Be honest and don't be shy. Let's hear about some of the big problems with and some of the best things about having a relationship with a Japanese person.

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

No. I vowed not to 8 years ago.

Hoser · Joined: 19 Mar 2005 Posts: 694 Location: Toronto, Canada

Having a girlfriend (a low maintenance one that is) is a pretty cheap way to get a pretty constant supply of sex. Smile

Not that I'm saying that's why you should get a girlfriend of course. But it sure beats having to spend craploads of money for drinks and club fees.

PAULH · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 4672 Location: Western Japan

A Japanese wife becomes an eternal money pit, especially when you have kids.

Sex drops off considerably once kids come along too.

JaredW · Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 6:17 pm Post subject:

madeira · Joined: 13 Jun 2004 Posts: 182 Location: Oppama

I married a Japanese person.

Before that, I dated lots of Japanese guys.

Best things? They speak Japanese and can tell you about the customs... they can read the signs at temples/etc. They can help with your Japanese language studies. I find them very attractive, too! (There's lots more, I'm being a bit flippant).

Problems? Not sure if they're specific to the Japanese. Expectations of housewifery that I cannot/will not fulfil. That's about it, but it's a pretty big 'it'.

Mamasita516 · Joined: 05 Jul 2005 Posts: 56 Location: Kansas City, MO

Well, I haven't gotten there yet, but will be (hopefully) by the end of the summer. If Japanese guys express interest in me, I will happily date them!! I'm not expecting too much though...American guys don't even want to date me!! Plus from what I hear (and PLEASE correct me - tactfully - if I am wrong), it is normally Japanese women that are more open to interracial/intercultural dating. I, myself, am biracial and down for anything, so yeah...I'll get back to you if I do get a date! I've seen some serious J-hotties!

ripslyme · Joined: 29 Jan 2005 Posts: 481 Location: Japan

My experience with Japanese girls ranges from one-night stands to long-term (3 years and almost got engaged).

Almost always it was a "friend of a friend", even the one-nighters. I've met a few girls at clubs/bars. But that's not really my scene anyway. My love life has about the same level of activity as it did back home.

Just to toot my own horn a bit here, being an American-born Filipino (ABF), I feel proud of myself that I am doing so and don't have the Charisma Man card that I see alot of caucasians play. (I don't mean to call anyone out, I'm just saying...) Heck, being an ABF I'm actually starting off at a disadvantage given the general Japanese view of the rest of Asia. When meeting girls, I speak Japanese as best as I can. My Japanese level isn't all that high (I'll take 2-kyu this year), so sometimes I'll have to try to explain what I mean in English. Sometimes I'll get an "Ooooh! Amerika-jin kakkoi!" response, but those instances are few and far between.

Best thing: experiencing Japanese culture with a Japanese significant other gives me an insight that I wouldn't have solo.

Worst thing: the language and culture barrier. Of course, to take the "glass half full" position - these are simply opportunities for education. ( Rolling Eyes

) However, these opportunities can be dam- frustrating sometimes. Confused

canuck · Joined: 11 May 2003 Posts: 1921 Location: Japan

I think you're playing your own sort of race card, and twisting it to "separate" yourself from other foreigners doing the same thing you do. To say you're starting off at a disadvantage is horsesh1t.

Call it what it is. Your a foreigner that dates Japanese girls. Simple. Period. Filipino charisma man force fields do not exist.

ripslyme · Joined: 29 Jan 2005 Posts: 481 Location: Japan

movinaround · Joined: 08 Jun 2006 Posts: 202

Hoser · Joined: 19 Mar 2005 Posts: 694 Location: Toronto, Canada

ripslyme · Joined: 29 Jan 2005 Posts: 481 Location: Japan

movinaround · Joined: 08 Jun 2006 Posts: 202

TokyoLiz · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1548 Location: Tokyo, Japan

I think dating in Japan is interesting...

There are lots of attractive and decent Japanese and foreign guys. I dated a few.

I also met foreigners that I wouldn't otherwise have had a chance to meet - Americans, British and Australians. In Japan I had the chance to date people from other ethnic and cultural communities, too - a black guy from Detroit, a Japanese guy raised in the US and Europe, a Japanese guy from another region of Japan. I'm white and Canadian, by the way.

Problems? Just the ones you'd expect in any relationship. But I had lots of amazing experiences - insights into culture, celebration of the differences, and also lots of things in common where I hadn't expected to find anything that coincided.

The hardest part is finding the time to date. I'm too busy!