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| Have you had at least one relationship (dating or more) with a Japanese person while living in Japan? |
| Yes |
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77% |
[ 24 ] |
| No |
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22% |
[ 7 ] |
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| Total Votes : 31 |
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Chris21
Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Posts: 366
Location: Japan
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 Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:36 am Post subject: |
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McCAPITUL,
I think you are confusing the issue...
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| It is a term indicating inferiority, at least that is how I view it. Rather than view you as an individual person, which is more in-tune with you as a person and your actual cultural identity |
By that logic, is any term that categorizes you and doesn't express your individuality, indicative of inferiority? "Canadian", "male", "adult"... these all fail to capture my 'actual cultural identity' (whatever that means), but surely can't be considered offensive.
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| For instance, when you introduce your wife would you say - Hi, this is my lovely Japanese wife, Michiko? Or, Hi - this is my wife Michiko - she is a foreigner. |
In all my time in Japan, I have never met any Japanese person that has introduced his/her partner as "this is my gaijin wife/husband" (or vice versa). Certainly if someone did do that, it would be indicative of a preoccupation with gaijin status, but from my experience, I have never seen a single instance of this, so it was a poor example to use.
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| The term gaijin definitely has a racial component to it. |
Of course it does. That doesn't make it derrogatory. "Swede", "Egyptian", and even "Japanese" carry racial connotations as well, it doesn't mean that the connotation is negative.
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| It would appear to usually have the hidden assumption that gaijin are 2nd rate next to nihonjin. |
Usually? According to who? Of course there are some that may believe this (just like there are some racists in Canada, America, Britain, etc), but your inferrence is that this is a widely held belief in Japan, and that's not true. |
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Mamasita516
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 56
Location: Kansas City, MO
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| Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 1:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Well...not to bring up this topic again...but doesn't look like I'll be dating any native Japanese people because NO ONE IS TALKING TO ME!!! AT ALL. Unless it's to make fun of the gaijin (or gaijin's if I am with other people). Sorry...had to vent...been a challenging day. |
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Mark
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Posts: 500
Location: Tokyo, Japan
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| Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 5:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Mamasita516 wrote: |
| Well...not to bring up this topic again...but doesn't look like I'll be dating any native Japanese people because NO ONE IS TALKING TO ME!!! AT ALL. Unless it's to make fun of the gaijin (or gaijin's if I am with other people). Sorry...had to vent...been a challenging day. |
Where do you live? If you're in the Tokyo area, this is quite normal. People generally don't talk to strangers and, as my friend puts it, "wouldn't say anything even if you had a spear sticking out of you".
It's a little better in other parts of Japan.
But, in general, if you want to date Japanese guys, you'll almost certainly have to take the initiative. |
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Mamasita516
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 56
Location: Kansas City, MO
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| Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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I'm in Kobe - which is supposed to be one of the nicer cities for foreigners. This was the first time I felt that bad, but it kinda sucks to be made fun of for no apparent reason other than your not Japanese. YOu know, since we all havve control over things like that...
I'm not ready to talk to guys out here...I'm not feeling like getting shut down QUITE yet!!
But thanks for those words! |
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Mark
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Posts: 500
Location: Tokyo, Japan
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| Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Mamasita516 wrote: |
I'm in Kobe - which is supposed to be one of the nicer cities for foreigners. This was the first time I felt that bad, but it kinda sucks to be made fun of for no apparent reason other than your not Japanese. YOu know, since we all havve control over things like that...
I'm not ready to talk to guys out here...I'm not feeling like getting shut down QUITE yet!!
But thanks for those words! |
Ouch. |
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Sweetsee
Joined: 11 Jun 2004
Posts: 2302
Location: ) is everything
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| Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:16 am Post subject: |
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| Reminds me of when I was at the little one's nursery school the other day and had little boys come over and laugh at me and call their friends over as if they were viewing an exhibit at the zoo. |
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PAULH
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 4672
Location: Western Japan
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| Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:23 am Post subject: |
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| Sweetsee wrote: |
| Reminds me of when I was at the little one's nursery school the other day and had little boys come over and laugh at me and call their friends over as if they were viewing an exhibit at the zoo. |
I felt like that when I was in a tiny village in Fiji. Go anywhere in the world where there are not white people and you will be the source of a great deal of curiousity and amusement. In Chinese villages i hear people will treat you like you come from another planet as they have never seen caucasians before.
Maybe you should just stare back at them and say "Oh my God! Nihonjin da!!". |
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Sweetsee
Joined: 11 Jun 2004
Posts: 2302
Location: ) is everything
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| Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:32 am Post subject: |
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| I sometimes say, "Ah, Nihon-jin da!". They freak and any adults within earshot too. No, yesterday I just continued to stare into space and feel like a fish out of water. |
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Lynn
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 696
Location: in between
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| Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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| MrCAPiTUL wrote: |
EDIT NOTE: I think a deeper question to ask may be - even after marriage or any any serious, long term relationship, does your J partner still consider you a gaijin? what about his/her family? |
I asked my husband and his reply was, "hmmmm....half and half."
Ha! What's that supposed to mean?  |
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Mamasita516
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 56
Location: Kansas City, MO
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| Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
Go anywhere in the world where there are not white people and you will be the source of a great deal of curiousity and amusement. In Chinese villages i hear people will treat you like you come from another planet as they have never seen caucasians before.
Maybe you should just stare back at them and say "Oh my God! Nihonjin da!!". |
Imagine how they look at you if, like me, you're not white! I am half black and half Mexican. I get more glares than curious stares. I'm feeling better now. It was just a challenging day!! |
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gaijinalways
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Posts: 2279
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| Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 11:53 am Post subject: |
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Uh, I still think those mixed kids should be doubles, not halves  !
It's a bit ridiculous here, myself I'm made up of 4 ethnic groups, so I have 4 times as much fun as the Japanese!  |
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