Job Discussion Forums

[yaramaz]

I am still curious as to how Delpha has more exposure to Turkish culture than the average person. Who is average? And how much is more? I spent two years in a fairly conservative and traditional place where there were only 4 foreigners (and in the 2nd year I couldn't stand any of them so all my friends were Turks). I know dmb did similar. Baba Alex and justme are married to Turks. Whynotme is a Turk. Etc.

Delpha, I am not questioning your exposure or experience or knowledge, but don't make assumptions. It's not a contest.

Carry on.

[dmb]

The things people do to try and get on the telly..... and everything.

[Sheikh Inal Ovar]

It's a pity the audience couldn't have got their hands on the husband before he committed his dirtiest deed ... they'd have ripped him to pieces ...

There is more to the show than just ratings ... watching my mother in law get hot bothered and heavy with the absent perpetrators gave me hope that Turkish women are building up a head of steam to give the maganda's in their midst a good pasting ...

[dmb]

A couple of nights ago I was sat with mrs dmb and a couple of friends outside Ferdane. I was aware of a slapping sound behind me. A bloke had just hit his mrs and she was crying her eyes out. They continued to walk down the street and, this time I saw, he smacked her again. I along with 50 odd people just watched. I/we were guilty of doing nothing.
My friend commented on this and said we should have done something. I disagreed. A bloke who hits his mrs in public could possibly be carrying a knife. Best not to get involved.

[tararu]

Seeing as I still haven't figured out how to use the quote function, you will have to bare with me.

Thrifty- It is great that we are able to use this forum to voice our grievences about society. However, l haven't seen any posts on this site from the average Turkish Joe Blow. I don't believe that this is the place for a battered Turkish women to voice her pain.

Baba- I do agree with you to some extent. However, l don't think the show was an Oprah or Jerry Springer rip off. Sadly, television is mostly a misused medium, yet it has such potential.

Dmb- I think that the best you can do in such situations is call the Police. I remember reading about that man from England who was stabbed to death after he tried to stop a man who was beating his girlfriend outside a pub one night.

[Freddie Miles]

Many years ago, I was at the bus station in Kusadasi when something similiar happened. It was a complete drama taking place before my eyes. Woman, wife, perhaps, arrived at the station with suitcase. A few minutes later, husband- ( taxi driver) pulls up. Slammed on brakes and jumped out, actually. Grabs the woman and slaps her around and they argue and shout. He slaps her again. I was also standing there with my eyes wide open, doing nothing. However, perhaps the oddest thing of all was that there was a policeman standing right next to me, also watching the whole mess.
In contrast:
Back in the States, there was a couple in the apartment across from mine, constantly shouting. They were Chinese so I couldnt actually make out what the disputes were about. Anyway, somebody in the building must have called the police and they came like a SWAT team. Told the husband he had 3 seconds to open the door, to which he unwisely said, "GO WAY"
1... 2.. 3.. and they kicked the door down, hinges and all. ( Every thing hanging on the walls in my apartment suddenly lept off in a panic) They dragged him off without a waiting for an explanation and carted him off to jail. They didn't even need the wife to file a complaint. Right after that, the telephone rang and it was a Women's Help Service, asking the wife if she needed anybody to talk to or a place to stay for the night. I must say I was impressed.

[Delpha]

Hi there!

Ahhh yes - I believe I left out the part about having been in Istanbul for only six months...(If you consider Istanbul to be 'like' the rest of Turkey. I know that most of you who have been here for years, have travelled and/or are married to Turks would probably think it isn't).

I have never been here before and I didn't know the language. I can now functionally commincate (please don't read into this either, because I am NOT close to being fluent). Since being here I have had the opportunity to attend several weddings...Turkish, Roman, and Kurdish. Every week I travel to Gazosmanpaşa for Roman dance lesson with my teacher, Reyhan Tuzlu. I sit with a family of (shhhh it's a horrible word...gypsies) and eat diner....I go out to hear Black Sea Music (Laz) on Saturday nights, and I have learned various folk dances, like halay etc.....blah, blah...not bad for six months.

Okay!
-Delpha

[dmb]

[thrifty]

[Delpha]

Ahhh yes DMB!

I SHOULD have said than the AVERAGE backpacker, tourist, or foriegner. Yes one must be extremely careful when wording their sentences! God forbid someone might feel 'challenged' when comparing oneself to the 'average person'.

Everybody knows we (people who travel around teaching English) are not 'average' people. So, Yaramaz, I would include you in the not-your-average-run-of-the-mill-kind-of-homo-sapien....I was just making something called a generalization. Of course I didn't think about my audience when I was writing...

Also, I am not really the competative type (especially when I know I can't win...)

BTW - Roman or Rom is the politically correct way to refer to Gypsies in this part of the world. It is an ethnic name that they have chosen. Next time you have a moment look up the origins of the word gypsy - it is really not very nice. Besides the going belief about the origins of the gypsies (errr...rom) is that they are from India.

-D - okay relaxing now (always a little nervous when posting)

[Freddie Miles]

This incident is very similiar to an event that happened in the US about 10 years ago. The show, "The Jenny Jones Show" had the inane topic of " Secret Admirers of the Same Sex". All very typical of that sort of program. By the way, Wikipedia says that Jenny Jones got her start on two game shows, Press Your Luck and Match Game. Rather fitting.
Anyway...

The target (Jonathan Schmitz) of a gay man's (Scott Amedure's) affections came on to the show apparently unaware of the precise theme of that day's show. The following day, the beloved came to the man's home, shot and killed his admirer. His quote was "You fcuked me on national television" After the initial trial in which the admired was found guilty of second degree murder, the show was also brought into the courts as instigator of the homicide.

The outcome, courtesy of Wikipedia:
"Amedure's family then sued the producers of The Jenny Jones Show saying they should have known about Schmitz's mental illness history. In interviews, Jones said her producers told Schmitz that his admirer could be a male, but Schmitz maintained they misled him into thinking it would be a woman. While under oath, Jones admitted that the show didn't want Schmitz to know that his admirer was a man. Amedure's family won the initial ruling and the show was ordered to pay them $25 million. The verdict was later overturned by the Michigan appellate court. The case is now studied in law school tort classes because of the legal significance of saying the show's producers were not responsible for guests' safety after they had left the studio."

Ironically, Schmitz is now serving a 25-30 prison term, surrounded by all sorts of same-sex admirers!

[Sheikh Inal Ovar]

Zidane's honour-butting all looks rather innocent by comparison ....

[lovelace]

I didn't see anything violent for a long time in Istanbul, but then two nasty incidents in the space of two weeks - one, where a gypsy woman dragged her (10-year-oldish) daughter along Istiklal by her hair, and then kicked her over and over again in the face, until stopped by passersby.
And another where a man stood over his wife, who was sitting on the edge of the kerb, and continually screamed at and spat on her.

Both these images stayed with me and I began to think there was some kind of sickness at the heart of Turkish society, where violence and humiliation - particularly to women and children - is endemic. Why is there no shame to this?

[Baba Alex]

[lovelace]

You're right. In other places it just goes on behind closed doors. But the fact that in those countries it's shameful to beat your wife or children, and the police will take it seriously if you make a complaint, doesn't that protect people more?