Job Discussion Forums

[etx]

There are essentially three unwritten rules that you must remember if you want to succeed in the EFL game. Succeed, such as success is possible within the world of EFL, which is to say not much.

UNWRITTEN RULE NUMBER ONE: SHOW UP FOR CLASS

Basically, you can shamble into class drunk as a skunk, stinking of vomit, with a fever of 102, totally unprepared, and limping. But you must show up.

That�s your job, man.

You don�t show up, the students complain, of course. But you also inflame the wrath of your fellow teachers, one of whom will, if possible, be Shang-Haied into filling in your class. No teacher hates ANYTHING worse. If it�s not possible to find a free sub, the school will probably do something incredibly lame like sticking the teacherless class in with another class.

Or worse yet, an ADOS might have to do it, which will definitely get the guy hating you.

Pure chaos.

All because of your dumb butt.

UNWRITTEN RULE NUMBER TWO: THE STUDENT IS ALWAYS RIGHT

So, the student should be in Level One, but is now entering your Level Six class? Failed every single test she�s ever taken? Can�t speak a single word of English? Well, of course you�ve got the authority to send her back to Level One, right?

Bull honkus.

That student isn�t going anywhere. Because she has explained to the manager of the school, or whoever signs up students, �If I can�t go on to the next level, I�ll just go down the street to Global Village Language School and I�m sure THEY�LL let me stay in Level Six.�

You will see this again and again.

Tests pretty much mean nothing. If you fail a bunch of students, the boss will pretty much just think you must really suck in class. Nobody will get held back because of them.

Also, the parents of the student are always right.

�My little Tongchai may have scored three percent on the placement test, but he�s studied in England for a whole two weeks and with a private tutor for five years. We�ll just put him in level five, all right? And I�m sure if you won�t, I�ll just go down the street to Pan National Language School and I�m sure THEY�LL let him stay in Level Five.�

So don�t fight it.

UNWRITTEN RULE NUMBER THREE: YOUR JOB IS TO MAKE THE STUDENTS HAPPY

Just a corollary of the first two rules, really.

Essentially, as long as the students keep signing up, nobody really cares if you teach them anything. In fact, trying to teach them English is often a good way to piss students off.

Students need desperately to practice writing? Well, you just try making them do that if they don�t happen to feel like it. You will definitely get a little talking-to from the boss, who will perhaps hem and haw about how it should be assigned for homework so as to concentrate on communicative activities in class. Of course it won�t get done, don�t be stupid.

Students desperately need grammar and vocabulary and reading? Well, that�s just dandy. Don�t try to spend too much time on it though, unless the students happen to want to. Otherwise you�ll be trying to explain to the boss why students say your lessons are �boring� and �too serious�.

Students can�t speak but want only to listen to pop songs? You better do it. Students want you to stand there and tell funny stories while sitting chattering away in their native language? Hey, pal, we got a business to run. No funny stories? Well, what the hell are you a teacher for?

Oh, there might well be the occasional student who is studying because they actually need it, like maybe to speak to their English boyfriend on the Internet, but most of them will be there because they�ve been forced to study by their parents or their bosses. So don�t start thinking you�re some kind of hotshot, eh?

Now I can here all those CELTA-waving types saying, �But you can entertain and educate at the same time!� Of course you can. But being entertaining is not 100 percent of it, because you might get the occasional class of grouches who want to be taught in some boring and pedantic traditional manner. And you might have to teach some kind of class preparing for an International English examination like the TOEFL or the CAE or something � in which case you probably would have to teach them enough to pass the exam. In either case, you JUST HAVE TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. Don�t try arguing with your boss about methodology if an entire class is ready to quit. JUST DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.

Talk about your learner-centered activities.

Finding out what the students want to do is harder than actually doing it, of course. So good luck.

Hmm, perhaps that�s why the term �facilitator� is sometimes preferred to �teacher�

www.englishteacherx.com

[Otterman Ollie]

I think thats the big difference between teaching in a so-called "language school " as appossed to a REAL school where a little bit more professionalism is usually visable .Perhaps you need to find such a place unless you have been where you are for so long you think that is normal,believe me its not .BTW where are you teaching ? I'm in Turkey,there are places like that funnily enough referred to as aforementioned "language schools" they are just the same ,if you have any sense,experience,or qualies under your belt you get out pronto .

[ls650]

I suspect the OP teaches at an English First. When I taught at an EF in Jakarta, things were like that, but now that I teach at a real school...

[2 over lee]

You are always right ETX, especially when it comes to not drinking vodka in clubs. Love the your site.

[Like a Rolling Stone]

[jpvanderwerf2001]

[Otterman Ollie]

Sorry to sound picky L.A.R.S. but was it really necessary to recreate the op's entire post just so you could add your pointless comment at the bottom?

[rusmeister]

Not seeking to offend, but a huge objection I have to EF is that they pay bottom dollar (while charging top dollar), and this drags down the market for career professionals (of course, the teachers acquiesce to this state of affairs). If you EF guys would unionize and demand better pay (not that that is necessarily the best option, but there must be something better than working for minimum wage in a foreign country)... If nothing else, it must be possible to make more money by freelancing. (Trying to be constructive, not critical here)

[william wallace]

nil

[rusmeister]

With a name like yours, you're the perfect person to lead us in the fight against McTeaching!
So how do we cut into their supply and demand?

[sigmoid]

English Teacher X rocks!!

English Teacher X is ALWAYS right to the point of being infallible like the Pope, except even more so.

These three rules are excellent advice.

As they say, truth is stranger than fiction and English Teacher X tells it like it is.

http://www.englishteacherx.com

[saint57]

I forgot about your website for a few months. Thanks for reminding me. It's quite funny. Oh yes, I agree with all three rules. How did you stay sober long enough to do the DELTA? I wonder how ETX would behave if he were in charge of a language school?

[Deconstructor]

Ultimately nothing matters but the bottom line$ And even in the most "respected" language schools money will always trump education.

But are we really saying anything new? Hasn't this been said to death... especially by me? I feel like I'm in a Nietzschean eternal return.

Yes, yes, yes!!! ESL/EFL industry is a scam, especially overseas, and teachers are great scammers... at least the great ones. I never really understand why teachers are generally respected anyways. I mean aren't we teachers because we basically can't do f*ck all? Let's be honest!

As for students... well... they are the dumbest MFing clients one could ever have, not to mention totally incompetent. What would we do without Koreans, Japanese and South Americans? If these guys were smart we'd all be out of a job. Only morons think that in order to learn another language, they must attend some boring class with an idiotic text (and they are $700 a dozen) and a teacher who's not quite on the ball.

[rusmeister]

Hi Deconstructor,
You say some pretty sharp things sometimes, but on this I have to disagree. Yes, any slob can be a teacher in a foreign country and scam some poor natives. But there also exist people who understand what it takes to acquire a foreign language, as an adult, being stuck in your native land, and who have some skill in transmitting the skills.

You are totally right in (having said) that people should learn to teach themselves. But most people have been brainwashed by school systems, (which are alarmingly similar in all these different countries, although if you buy J.T. Gatto's research, it's not all that surprising) into thinking they can't. I work on teaching them to teach themselves. I figure there are enough people in my town and general area to keep me busy for a long time to come, and I don't feel I'm scamming anyone. I work with them, show them what to do and help give them confidence to continue, with me (or someone else ) or on their own, as they wish. I do OK, am my own employer, am not rich, but am happy with what I do.

[Serious_Fun]