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Baba Alex
Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 2411
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 Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:34 pm Post subject: Wanted : Trumpet player and Organist for Wedding Present |
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| Wanted : Trumpet player and Organist for Wedding Present tribute band in Istanbul. |
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howmucharefags
Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 299
Location: Eskisehir
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| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:49 pm Post subject: |
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| I know a few trumpets but nobody that can play one |
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Golightly
Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 877
Location: in the bar, next to the raki
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| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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| so you're looking for someone who plays with his organ? I'm sure a few of the posters here will oblige. |
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justme
Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 1944
Location: Istanbul
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| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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The title of this thread sounds like an opening for a dirty joke.
All it needs is a saxophone player and a 12-inch pianist. |
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Golightly
Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 877
Location: in the bar, next to the raki
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| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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| And someone to shake her great big maracas. |
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Baba Alex
Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 2411
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| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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Yes indeed, who's going blow and play my organ?
Also, who's going to felate me? |
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justme
Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 1944
Location: Istanbul
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| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm really glad dmb isn't rushing off for his coat right now... |
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Golightly
Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 877
Location: in the bar, next to the raki
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| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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I'm afraid this thread has become far too Carry On TEFLing.
Matron! Maaaatron! |
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dmb
Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397
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| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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| justme wrote: |
| I'm really glad dmb isn't rushing off for his coat right now... |
I must be slipping
| Quote: |
Trumpet Jokes
How man trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because the world revolves around them!
What's the difference between a trumpet and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.
What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't.
How many trumpets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
The doorbell shrieks!
Why can't a gorilla play trumpet?
He's too sensitive.
What do trumpet players use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?"
"But Johnny, you can't do both."
What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars?
Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.
How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the trumpet players.
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpeter's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
What do you call a lead trumpet player with half a brain?
Gifted.
What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"
How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Louie Armstrong would have done it.
Other Instrument Jokes
Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room ?
They never know when to come in.
What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.
What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.
How can you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A drummer.
Why is it good that drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.
Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.
What is the range of a piccolo?
Oh, about twenty yards on a good day.
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have a machine that does that now.
How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
The knock always speeds up.
How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?
Shoot one.
What is the difference between a french horn section and a '57 Chevy?
You can tune a '57 Chevy.
Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
Yeah, it took two hours to get the drummer out. |
| Quote: |
Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse?
A: They are always longing for another stop.
Q: Why are a organist's fingers like lightning?
A: Because they rarely strike the same place twice.
Q: What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner.
Q: What do you get if you drop an organ on an army base?
A: A flat major.
Q: Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
A: It makes a louder noise, when you drop it off a cliff.
Q: Why was the organ invented?
A: So the musician would have a place to put his beer.
Q: What does a German Hammond organist do in his life's most tender moments?
A: He puts his Leslie on "slow".
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So one thing is clear- organ players and trumpeters have an even worse sense of humour than dmb  |
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Baba Alex
Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 2411
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| Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 8:14 am Post subject: |
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| I'll take it that's a NO then. |
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