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off topic, dealing with a Japanese spouse
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Gordon



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 5309
Location: Japan
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I wouldn't advise you to lie to your wife, but you don't always have to be entirely truthful. If you think your wife happens to look fat one day, will you tell her?

Every woman is sensitive about various things and has weaknesses, like all of us. By now, you should know your wife is sensitive about what she buys you or about clothes, so be a bit more aware about what you say. I'm not defending her, but you should have known better.

I also agree this is not a cultural issue. My wife is Canadian like I am and I could see her taking offence to something similar, though to a lesser degree.
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Sour Grape



Joined: 10 May 2005
Posts: 241
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 11:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
There might well be deeper marital problems, but that tie conversation sounds like it took place while she was having a woman's period.
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azarashi sushi



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Posts: 562
Location: Shinjuku
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 12:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
Just tell her you like the friggin' tie and shut up.


Kind of sad, but I suppose if it works.....


Yeah, I agree. She buys a man of your age and size a DORAEMON tie???? I mean, really, what was she thinking?

But how is it in Woop Woop Usania? Is it considered a nice or polite thing to do, to tell someone who gives you a gift that you don't like it?
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Apsara



Joined: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 2142
Location: Tokyo, Japan
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 12:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I just wanted to point out that he didn't say it wasn't his favourite tie, he said Doraemon wasn't his favourite animation figure. That's all. Wink
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nonsmoker



Joined: 20 Apr 2007
Posts: 352
Location: Exactly here and now.
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 12:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Just pretend you like the tie and wear it until you walk out the door and out of sight, then change ties with the one you've secretly tied to your thigh.
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shuize



Joined: 04 Sep 2004
Posts: 1270
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 12:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
azarashi sushi wrote:
Yeah, I agree. She buys a man of your age and size a DORAEMON tie???? I mean, really, what was she thinking?

But how is it in Woop Woop Usania? Is it considered a nice or polite thing to do, to tell someone who gives you a gift that you don't like it?

No. Telling people their gift sucks does not usually go over well. However, mentioning that as much as you like it, ties with manga characters don't really suit your professional work environment should be acceptable. If you spouse isn't an idiot, that is. Of course, buying cartoon character ties for a job that requires you wear one (as much as actually wearing one) sort of raises that issue for both parties.
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gaijinalways



Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Posts: 2279
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 1:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
azarashi sushi and
shuize

Ugh, but I actually like the tie, as quoted I said it has an animation charatcer that is not my favorite. I alo have a snoopy tie as well. And no, for my job, it doesn't make any difference, generally a tie is a tie, except when it is one your wife bought Cool .

Quote:
Every woman is sensitive about various things and has weaknesses, like all of us. By now, you should know your wife is sensitive about what she buys you or about clothes, so be a bit more aware about what you say. I'm not defending her, but you should have known better.

I also agree this is not a cultural issue. My wife is Canadian like I am and I could see her taking offence to something similar, though to a lesser degree.



Wanna swap Wink ?

What I meant by a cultural issue is I think generally speaking Japanese tend to be more sensitive to these kinds of things. She already knew the information mentioned, it had already been discussed in a conversation previously that did not lead to such an angry outburst. Just like if I remind you that your dog is missing wouldn't change the situation that was previously discussed, that the dog is gone from our sight.
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Gordon



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 5309
Location: Japan
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I find the Japanese can be amazingly blunt. They'll say "oh, you've gotten fat" or "your haircut makes you look old".
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shuize



Joined: 04 Sep 2004
Posts: 1270
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
gaijinalways wrote:
Ugh, but I actually like the tie, as quoted I said it has an animation charatcer (sic) that is not my favorite. I alo (sic) have a snoopy tie as well. And no, for my job, it doesn't make any difference, generally a tie is a tie, except when it is one your wife bought Cool.

Manga and Snoopy ties. I see I over estimated the work environment. My mistake. (And yet, some still have to ask what perception Japanese have of EFL teachers.)
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gaijinalways



Joined: 29 Nov 2005
Posts: 2279
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2007 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote