Job Discussion Forums

[leeroy]

(or "socialize")

I didn't use to as much - but my current evening class enjoy going to the pub on Fridays immensely, and although I claim to be of neutral opinion, I secretly hope for them to vote for the "pub" option every Friday too...

[joe-joe]

I do sometimes, it depends on the age and level of the group. In Georgia and Turkey I found the students more than happy to go out for a drink or a meal, (or both). And the higher level groups obviously were easier to communicate with. In Russia I taught teenagers so it was really viable to socialise, I mean did you ever go out with your high school trachers?

[dmb]

In the Gulf "no". In Turkey on a regular basis and former students are now very good friends because it started with going to the pub on fridays

[FGT]

Here in Turkey (interesting how "Turkey" has already cropped up in answer to the socializing question!) I would say "sometimes".

I sometimes suggest that a class come out and try to use English socially. I might suggest to them that speaking English gets easier after a beer or two. I sometimes devote a regular night of the week to socializing with students (mine and other teachers').

I rarely invite students to come out with me and my friends. I think it's hard to mix roles. And it's hard on other people not involved with teaching.

Once a student becomes a friend then anything goes, but till then....

[donfan]

In Russia I socialised with my students all the time. In Taiwan less so but there was still the odd occassion.

[denise]

In Prague, there were occasional pub trips--not planned by me, me being all shy and whatnot. Now, in Japan, the students sometimes come to parties at the teachers' houses. I'm planning on inviting my classes over to my house for movie night--assuming the damn movie that I purchased online ever shows up!!!!

In theory, I fully support socializing with students (with adult students, at least), but in practice, I'm never quite sure how to go about it. I suppose, "Hey, who's up for a pub trip this weekend?" would work. Duh.

d

[Just a guy]

Yea, I often spend off time out & about with the kids in the middle school I'm at here in China.
Mostly the senior grade students, my first weeks here I let it be known that I was interested in doing so & a dozen or so have taken the initiative in showing me around. We're becoming good friends too while at the same time, both them & I are really learning each others cultures in a way not practical in a classroom setting, not to mention the big improvements in our speaking abilities.

Last week, I even went to one students home in a small village for a day, it was a three hour walk through other small villages & mountains after the last bus/taxi route, `Way out there. I'm sure it will remain one of the best eye openers to how the Chinese actually live outside the view of normal daily life of a FT here I'll get.

I'm going to start a Sunday night movie at my heated apartment next week, the poor kids often spend that time in the very cold classroom doing self study or just messin around.

I often wonder about what might be really going on in a couple of the young girls mind though, I fear a couple might have a crush on me & have to watch that I don't let myself slip into the casual "American" way of flirting, I don't believe they know it is meaningless . Their high school girls & I'm sure they are not much different than any 17 or 18 year old in the way their mind works regarding boys & girls, I always make sure there are a mix of boys & girls in our outings. Last week, a nice lady from town joined our English corner & I saw a couple looks of possible jealousy towards her from a couple of the girls that I have become friends with, it was scary funny to see...

I mostly spend time with a group of kids I don't actually teach, they are in senior 3 grade & don't have FT's in any of their class as the school thinks they have too much regular learning to do, I kinda agree since we do mostly spoken classes here. I'm looking forward to staying in contact with them after they leave this school in the spring, whether they go to a uni next year or not.

I think it is good for the kids who are truly interested in learning English to be able to be comfortable around me & know they can speak freely in my presents, it also makes the other students feel more comfortable to see & hear them do so.

[Wolf]

I Japan I worked at two companies that forbade socialization with students. (actually one forbade contact with students.)

In China I socialize with my students . . . as they are by far the largest group of people that I can communicate with. The age gap isn't that big (in theory). I play basketball with the guys from time to time.

I've gone hiking with them, they've come over to cook dinner for me . . . in many ways they're the best part of my living here.

[Gordon]

Just a guy,
Be careful there, many students don't know where to draw the line (some teachers too, I'm not saying you though). I'm glad you're having mixed groups over to your apt, having a group of girls there can certainly give the wrong impression and once you have a reputation.... If a female student gets jealous and feels led along, you never know what she'll say to your school. Make it clear to them you aren't interested and that they know where you stand. Be careful about mixing your personal and professional life. A young American male (I'm assuming) could be tempting for your students.

[Roger]

I have no worries about socialising with adult students, but it is true that English Corners easily degenerate into pick-up joints.
But it is true that English Corners easily degenerate into pick-up joints.
Once a karaok bar asked me to be in charge of their "English Salon", but when I saw the name they had thought up I declined.
It was called "The English Love Salon".
I do abhor all these contrived, organised get-togethers "to practise English". Sorry, I don't think my presence makes that much of a difference - anybody can talk in English to anybody. If my presence is required, I would like to talk about things extraneous to most of us and our lives; I want to depersonalise discussions, to move on to more generally interesting topics.
BUt that's hardly possible with Chinese. Their maturity is not high enough. It's always too personal with them.

[shmooj]

My wife and I spend a ton of time with students who we now class as friends independently from the school and with friends of theirs who have become ours too.

[Capergirl]

This is something of a struggle for me. My students are adults and most are around my age, so they do invite me to go out with them sometimes. However, I generally try to avoid hanging out with students in my free time because I don't want to upset the balance of the teacher-student relationship. Since most of my students are male, there is another problem - I make it a rule not to date students and I believe that I might be more tempted to break that rule if I were to allow myself to get more chummy with them. Ergo, I distance myself a bit by not hanging out with them on evenings and weekends unless there is an ESL field trip. I do get along great with most of my students and I consider them to be my friends, but I think a line has to be drawn in the sand as long as they are still my students.

[lagger]

A couple of years ago I was at a school where at 4 of my female colleagues were sleeping with students. One couple even moved in together (and they're still together now). I guess the Brazilians are irresistible.

It does create a conflict of interest but I guess you could always ask for a class transfer.

It would get a bit iffy if you were working with teenagers. Actually, you could get into a lot of trouble.

[Kurochan]

Yeah, Justaguy, it's good that you make sure the groups are mixed, but also be sure to prop the door to your apartment open. Or, if you have one of those safety doors, you can close that and leave the inner door mostly open. It'll let the heat out, but it's a good way to signal to officials, passersby and visiting students that you don't have any, you know, "intentions." When I came to China, I was advised to keep my bedroom door shut whenever students come over. It's a way of demarking the public and the personal, I guess, and also it avoids misunderstandings that could happen if somebody overhears a comment like,"My foreign teacher has _______ in his bedroom."

Of course, I'm sure I'm telling you things you already know.

As for me, when I teach classes where grading is somewhat subjective, I'm cautious about socializing too much with the students. I'm not sure I could grade my students fairly if I became friends with some of them. But, if it's a situation where there is no grading, like you come in to a company and do English training a few times a week, I think socializing, as long as it doesn't become romantic, is a good thing. It adds fun to your life, and it's good for the students, because it relaxes them and motivates them to talk to you more.

[smallworlds]

In Poland some of my adult classes would suggest we go for coffee.
One of the teachers had what he called an conversation club and it was great fun. We drank and danced and it was an opportunity for the students to practice their English. I made some great friends through this group.