Job Discussion Forums

Mr. Kalgukshi · Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 12:46 am Post subject: Topic

Let's stay on topic. This means, in part, not taking jabs at individual posters just because you don't like the message. This appears to be an informative thread that will not be permitted to be derailed because of off-topic or other inappropriate postings.

Vanica · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 368 Location: North Carolina

I hope this thread doesn't get blocked.

While I was in Bangkok, I noticed a some hostility between white, Western women and men. Rolling Eyes

But you can bypass the white guys! It's really funny, the same critiques made against Western women concerning body weight and letting themselves go apply to white men as well, additionally their clothing choices and the hair loss!!! So I can offer an anecdote about meeting Thai men.

They are interested in you, but they are much more subtle than Western guys. I made eye contact with a Thai man, who immediately turned away and left the premises. I was with a Western man who had been living in Bangkok for a while, and he said, Follow him! What! I thought.

The Thai man stayed half a block ahead of me at all times, and I really don't recall him ever looking back to see if I was following. He turned into a building, and when I got to the door, the doormen waved me in. Well, I was led to a private room, drinks were poured and -- well, we got to know each other Wink

But all in all, get away from the bar and expat scene. That's the problem.

tedkarma · Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 12:37 am Post subject:

In spite of much of what has been said - culture is really an issue in a serious relationship - and most any male who is really interested would consider a Western woman - why not?

Okay, I will agree - there are attitude issues (some people DO carry a bit of baggage around with them) - but a dynamic, energetic and interesting person will have no problem here.

The women (people - men too) who have problems here tend to come with a built-in negative attitude.

If you enjoy life and show it - some one will want to share it with you.

Vanica · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 368 Location: North Carolina

I think there is an undeniable problem going on. There are really a lot of Western men in Bangkok who have a complex against Western women.

I was just offering a suggestion to Western women who are living there, that being, there are lovely Thai men who will fancy you, don't waste your time with those nasty guys. Evil or Very Mad

Looking for my place · Joined: 09 Sep 2005 Posts: 49 Location: Portland

Well after most of my overseas experiences being in with Latin men in South America, I think that the men/women, local/foreign scene in Thailand might be a little hard for me to adjust to......

Vanica · Joined: 31 Aug 2006 Posts: 368 Location: North Carolina

You know, it is hard to adjust to, and it isn't. The Thai people are really great and sweet, it is a certain group of Western men in Thailand who are difficult. I am no longer there, but I was really happy there for almost a year. However, I was very young then.

I also lived in Latin America, and to compare ... ay yay yay ... it's really a man's world, but the variations are incredible.

tedkarma · Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 9:17 pm Post subject:

I guess I am not willing to accept that this is a problem only with Western men. It is not.

All people want - any person - is to be treated decently and respectfully in a relationship and not to be too overtly manipulated for financial, status, marital or reproductive purposes - at least not until a cordial and caring relationship has been established.

Just as an aside - but maybe critical to the discussion - I went to do the annual registration for my car yesterday and at the transportation department I saw two - not particularly handsome - not particularly successful or wealthy young men being quided through the process by their obviously intelligent (really - you and I know how to tell) and friendly and helpful girlfriends.

These were not bar girls - again we can tell, can't we? As I sat there I pondered the thought that these guys would both have trouble snagging a decent girlfriend back home (it is true) and how happy they seemed to have found something where they could be treated with a modicum of respect - and just enjoy their lives.

Things might be more difficult for women here - but they can be quite difficult for men in Western cultures. Relationships aren't super easy anywhere.

I suspect this all has to do with expectations from our culture and society. Don't get me wrong - and notice I have suggested to the OP that what she is considering is quite possible - and I agree that there are probably quite decent Thai men she can connect with.

Culture and expectations carry a LOT of baggage.

takgeyon · Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 51

takgeyon · Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 51

tedkarma · Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 12:39 am Post subject:

I agree 100% and well said - "The shoe is on the other foot" explains it perfectly.

lovetowander · Joined: 09 May 2007 Posts: 78 Location: Australia temp..

Lordy this topic has taken on a life of its own, we could start a book on dating in thailand for the chubby westerners haha

Aww look, lets face it, dating sucks big time! Doesn't matter where you are. There is good and bad everywhere and once you are over 35 it just gets harder. I was telling a few young models I work with the other day, that they should enjoy being 20 and having a pool full of fish to choose from, cos in a few years that pool has less and less fish in it haha. (and more blow fish)
I wouldnt date a thai guy here though, it has been my experience that they mostly turn into stalkers! As do the African guys! so beware ladies. Now we aren't talking about thai bar guys, these are professional thai guys! Once they have their sights on you, its hard to shake them loose.
My daughter has been stalked by 4 of them in the last month and she didn't even date them! And I agree, that western men have a harder time at home, so more power to them if they can find someone who accepts that there is often more than meets the eye.
It is such a meat market at home, I hate going out, I feel like a prize cow being judged and scored as I walk into a bar haha. But then we do the same to the guys walking in. its all pretty pathetic in the end.
Good luck to all of you, I think the single people in here need all the luck we can get haha.
Cheers

takgeyon · Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 51

StrayCat · Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 21

With regards to the OP & the basic question she asked: I've a lot of female teaching colleagues and more than half have Thai boyfriends & seem happy enough.

Having said that, Western women don't seem to last long here. Schools find it quite hard to keep their female teachers for a contract renewal... (perhaps they should supply them all with Thai hard-bods...).

Blondiepants · Joined: 16 May 2007 Posts: 14 Location: Thailand

"Having said that, Western women don't seem to last long here. Schools find it quite hard to keep their female teachers for a contract renewal"

Straycat, out of curiousity, why do you think that is? I'm moving to Thailand in a few weeks, and although I don't plan to stay for long, your post makes me uneasy. Why is it that women are generally unhappy in Thailand?

BP

lovetowander · Joined: 09 May 2007 Posts: 78 Location: Australia temp..

Blondie, the rest of this thread should give you an idea on that.
Its not that bad here, its just the dating scene that is a bit difficult, but mainly for women of a mature age I guess. Slim pickings! a lot of the men here, prefer to date Thai women , for a variety of reasons. But if your young, theres tons of western guys here, that work in many different fields.
But even if you single you can still have fun, I have a favourite bar I go and quite often go by myself, I always end up meeting some interesting people and have a lot of fun. It doesn't bother me being single, so I dont really mind being here, just depends on what you want I guess. I like the thai people and enjoy their culture, so it makes up for the lack of decent guys haha.