Job Discussion Forums

[Hiawatha]

Would appreciate any info you may have regarding feasibility of
bring charges against co-worker for harrassment.

[007]

[veiledsentiments]

So, are you being harassed or are you wondering if someone you are harassing may be able to bring charges against you?

VS

[omanized]

I would guess that beyond the policies of your employer, if they have any, you will have trouble filing 'charges' against someone. What is the nature of the accusation? Bullying? Lewd remarks? Most likely a waste of time to try anything in the courts or have the police involved.

omzd

[Hiawatha]

Thank you for your responses.

Omanized has a good idea about making a formal written complaint through local school channels first.

I did talk to HOD several times, and several times he talked to persons involved, yet it continued.

While None of us are perfect, we can all get on each others nerves, but by discussing it this can usually bring about change. Not so in this case. what's occured here is a group bullying or 'mobbing' situation, whereby one or two puppet masters and a few puppets have harrassed me over time, about 2 semesters.

[Duffy]

Hiawatha,

If the harrassment took place over two semesters, or a whole year, why are you only bringing this to the attention of the forum now? Has something else happened? Surely the onus was upon you to be proactive when it started and had it stopped. Of course, you must remember to be balanced about whatever has taken place: would other colleagues regard it as harrassment or are you being over-sensitive? Could you have misinterpreted what was said or done? What is the nature of the harrassment?
You should first go to your line manager (the Coordinator may have a view too) or HOD, if not - go to the Dean! If neither of them support your side of the story - you will need evidence/witnesses - speak to your employer (CfBt/Hawthorns or Ministry if you're at a MoHE college). If that doesn't work, speak to your Embassy Rep.
You need to bear in mind that legal cases here can be expensive, and the burden of proof will be on you, so if anything was done or said or written to you, you need documentary evidence. If you want to go down the court route, remember that evidence must be presented in Arabic and any statement have to be witnessed by two Omani males. It isn't often easy to find two handy Omani male witnesses!

Duffy

[Hiawatha]

Thanks Duffy and all of you for your suggestions.

I had been trying to take the high road and solve it within the department, and so I have only shared it with HOD, who talked to them but with no change.

Your suggestion about speaking to the Dean, MOHE and Embassy Rep

is an excellent one, and I will keep that in mind for the future.

[Hiawatha]

By the way, I am not being overly sensitive. (I wish that were the case).

To explain it all in detail just exactly what was done would take a few pages. (Although I have documented it)

And I know I should have opened it up to dean mohe and embassy long before this, so anyway if it continues in the fall then I will.

[veiledsentiments]

Besides, this is not the place anyway. Situations like this are usually a personal situation and airing it on a professional public board is not... um... professional. It all becomes 'he said/she said.'

In a foreign environment like this, if management won't do their job as you see it and squash it, one should just pack up the tent and move on... chalking it all up to experience and fodder for the retirement novel.

There are a lot of very eccentric people in this profession... most in a good way, but the bad ones can force one to move on.

VS

[eha]

"Besides, this is not the place anyway. Situations like this are usually a personal situation and airing it on a professional public board is not... um... professional. It all becomes 'he said/she said.' "

I don't agree; this forum is eminently a place where things that can't be dealt with in the 'professional' environment can at least be opened up to discussion. AFter all, who's being unprofessional-- the harasser or the victim of harassment? Talk about shooting the messenger...

And Duffy: don't even MENTION the 'o-s' word (oversensitive) in this context. The fact is, whether one's colleagues consider it harassment or not, depends on whether they're on the receiving end, or their wife/husband/ sister/ brother/ friend. One of the most unpleasant things about harassment is the cowardice and lack of principle it brings out in the onlookers; afterwards, when it's supposedly 'all over', it's extremely difficult ever again to respect those so-called 'colleagues' (the word means 'equals';) who stood by and let you be abused --- or worse, who joined in.

There's a lot of this stuff going on, and what's needed is more, not less, openess about the issues involved. I hope everyone is reading 'Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace', or one of the many serious books and articles currently raising consciousness about this ugly phenomenon. After all, we're supposed to be highly educated professionals???? Well, aren't we?

[omanized]

eha, slow down a touch, you're right to say that this forum can be a place to air your grievances but expect a wide spectrum of responses as well - maybe you are over-reacting, maybe you should deal with it, after all, we are all adults aren't we ? Now, even your colleagues are guilty by association?

If you gave the readers an idea of the nature of the alleged harrassment, yes, alleged, then maybe you would get more comments that you accept.

omzd

[Stephen Jones]

Agree with the last poster. As you are not letting us know what happened we can hardly give an opinion.

[eha]

If you look back at the original post, I wasn't 'alleging' anything: I was commenting on the fact that people are often in denial about harassment.
I don't know why you bring 'my' colleagues into it: this is a universal problem, and if you read any of the many websites about bullying and harassment, you'll see that one of the most unpleasant things about such behaviour is that very rarely does anyone intervene to put a stop to it. It's not 'my' colleagues who are, as you put it, 'to blame by association'; it's anyone who contributes to the triumph of evil by doing nothing.

In fact, I wouldn't advise the original poster to try to get any support for what's happening to him/her; s/he may very well end up even more wretched as a result of the barrage of 'victim-blaming' ; 'messenger-shooting' and scapegoating that will probably result from his /her attempt to defend him/herself. "Cet animal est tres mechant: quand on l'attaque, il se defend!"

[eha]

Oh, and by the way, Omanized, I can't agree with you that 'we're all adults, aren't we'.
As far as I'm concerned, anyone with a so-called 'higher education' who is unaware of the consequences of his/her behaviour towards others; who refuses to accept the existence of such consequences or the validity of the response of others, and who can't make the simple logical connection that such behaviour affects the working environment, is NOT an adult. S/he's emotionally retarded, and should not be in any position where s/he is in contact with hundreds of young people as a role-model.

[veiledsentiments]

Now it is obvious why I said that this board is not the place. Already this discussion has degenerated into who said what when to whom and why.

This is a common problem when one is dealing with people. If one feels one is being harassed in some way, you go to your management. If the problem is management, one goes to higher administration. If the problem is not dealt with, you resign. This is same no matter what country you are in. If you are in some countries, like the US or Europe you have access to laws and a lawyer, but most of us just deal with it and move on.

Nothing like this has ever been solved on a public board with anonymous posters.

VS