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Rooster_2006
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 984
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 Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:51 pm Post subject: Question for Men Who've Lived in Both Japan and Korea |
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Is it considerably easier to get a girlfriend in Japan than Korea? I've heard it is, but want the opinions of guys who have lived in both. I'm not talking about one-night stands or prostitutes -- I'm talking about a regular, normal girlfriend.
I'll admit, I've had one hell of a time with getting one in Korea. I'm 21, handsome (so ajummas and girls in school uniforms say, anyway), and studied Korean at Yonsei for over 1,000 hours, and yet, despite all this, I've had to work very, very hard for very, very little success. It's been almost two years, and I'm getting sick and tired of being constantly, endlessly single (or on first date after endless first date, with girls who then become perpetually busy when I try to call them up for a second one), despite thousands of hours of study of Korean language and customs.
I'm holding out hope that Japanese girls aren't as icy towards foreign men as Korean women are. I keep on hearing that it's much easier in Japan. I keep on hearing that stupid "status symbol" line but have trouble believing it. It sounds like those ads that you can make thousands of dollars from your PC working a few hours a month.
Any comments from guys who've lived in both countries? Are Japanese women less icy to foreign men than Korean women? |
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dove
Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Posts: 271
Location: USA/Japan
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:56 pm Post subject: |
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I have never lived in Korea, but I have lived in Japan, and yes, it is easy to get a Japanese girlfriend. Not every Japanese woman wants a Western boyfriend, but many do. Have you ever been to Italy and noticed how blonde women from countries like the USA and Sweden get all the attention, while American men won't get a second glance from Italian women? Well, the opposite is often (not always....notice how I am protecting myself from the flames threads like these always stir up) true in Japan (at least in Tokyo). There used to be a joke how, if you wanted a Japanese girlfriend, just go to the CD shop, hold up the soundtrack to Titanic, and say "I love this music" and Japanese women will flock to you. It's not that simple, of course, but you get the idea. Also, Japanese men will ask their Western friends, "What do you think of Japanese women?" and if you answer that you like them, high fives will be exchanged....I have heard that in Korea, a Western guy can get beaten up if he has a Korean girlfriend.
I know this is all politically incorrect, but in Japan, Western men can be very lucky....and yes, I know the argument that these guys are losers in their home countries and couldn't score a date there. I am just saying Japan can be very good for Western men. |
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Wintermute
Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 79
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:31 pm Post subject: |
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| My friend was one of those people beaten up by Korean men for having a Korean girl. They were walking through a park in the evening when they were hassled by a group of men. In the end it turned into a brawl and he broke his collarbone. Nasty stuff. As for Japanese women, yes, it is not that difficult to find a girlfriend here. I heard of one guy hooking up with a girl his first day in the country. That said, a lot of girls don't take it seriously, just a way to study English and have fun. If you are lucky you find the right girl and it can quickly develop into a strong relationship. My girlfriend is Japanese and we have been together for about 4 years - it's tough but worth the effort. Once we started dating I thought there would be some form of hostility towards us (it happens in Australia unfortunately) but it has never happened. Best of all her family is completely cool with her dating me - something else that worried me initially having heard how strict Asian families can be. |
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Khyron
Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Posts: 291
Location: Tokyo Metro City
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:37 pm Post subject: Re: Question for Men Who've Lived in Both Japan and Korea |
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| Rooster_2006 wrote: |
| Is it considerably easier to get a girlfriend in Japan than Korea? I've heard it is, but want the opinions of guys who have lived in both. I'm not talking about one-night stands or prostitutes -- I'm talking about a regular, normal girlfriend. |
In my experience, both personal and with my foreign friends in both counties, yes... it is considerably easier to get a girlfriend in Japan.
Japanese girls seem much more open to the idea of entering a mixed relationship. On top of that, when the do enter a relationship, things seem to progress a lot more quickly. I think, in general, Korean girls are much more conservative than Japanese girls.
| Quote: |
| I'll admit, I've had one hell of a time with getting one in Korea. I'm 21, handsome (so ajummas and girls in school uniforms say, anyway), and studied Korean at Yonsei for over 1,000 hours, and yet, despite all this, I've had to work very, very hard for very, very little success. It's been almost two years, and I'm getting sick and tired of being constantly, endlessly single (or on first date after endless first date, with girls who then become perpetually busy when I try to call them up for a second one), despite thousands of hours of study of Korean language and customs. |
Perhaps you're trying too hard? Girls seem to notice that sort of thing. Maybe you come off as desperate?
| Quote: |
| I'm holding out hope that Japanese girls aren't as icy towards foreign men as Korean women are. |
There is hope! I hold this opinion my own experience, as to the majority of my friends who've lived in both countries. Even my friends who've lived in China tell me that it's much, much easier in China than Korea.
On the other hand, I didn't find Korea as bad as you're describing. How was your love life in your home country? While true that some guys who'd never have a hope of getting any female attention back home have no worries over here, that is not a sure thing. Maybe some self-reflection wouldn't be a bad idea? Don't take offense to that, I'm just trying to offer up some ideas.
| Quote: |
| I keep on hearing that it's much easier in Japan. I keep on hearing that stupid "status symbol" line but have trouble believing it. It sounds like those ads that you can make thousands of dollars from your PC working a few hours a month. |
To be honest, I think it is, at least, partially true. I do think Japanese girls are much more receptive to foreign guys than Korean girls are. That's not to say that Japanese girls are always easy, but I do think there is a substantially greater amount of girls in Japan that are open to the idea of dating a foreign guy.[/i][/quote] |
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Khyron
Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Posts: 291
Location: Tokyo Metro City
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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| dove wrote: |
| Well, the opposite is often (not always....notice how I am protecting myself from the flames threads like these always stir up) true in Japan (at least in Tokyo). |
I can attest that this is also the case in Fukuoka(there were a couple of interesting visa runs between Pusan and Fukuoka. For some reason, the Tenjin area in Fukuoka is VERY good), Hiroshima, Osaka and Kyoto. |
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Rooster_2006
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 984
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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| dove wrote: |
| I have never lived in Korea, but I have lived in Japan, and yes, it is easy to get a Japanese girlfriend. Not every Japanese woman wants a Western boyfriend, but many do. Have you ever been to Italy and noticed how blonde women from countries like the USA and Sweden get all the attention, while American men won't get a second glance from Italian women? Well, the opposite is often (not always....notice how I am protecting myself from the flames threads like these always stir up) true in Japan (at least in Tokyo). There used to be a joke how, if you wanted a Japanese girlfriend, just go to the CD shop, hold up the soundtrack to Titanic, and say "I love this music" and Japanese women will flock to you. It's not that simple, of course, but you get the idea. Also, Japanese men will ask their Western friends, "What do you think of Japanese women?" and if you answer that you like them, high fives will be exchanged....I have heard that in Korea, a Western guy can get beaten up if he has a Korean girlfriend. |
This is true, I've been attacked twice without even having a Korean girl with me, and when I've been present publicly with a couple of my Korean female friends, the weirdos come out -- no attacks yet, but I know it happens all the time. Maybe being unsuccessful has saved my life! Even if Japan doesn't improve my love life at all, I hear I won't be the victim of street violence nearly as much as I have been in Korea. Which is nice.
| Quote: |
| I know this is all politically incorrect, but in Japan, Western men can be very lucky....and yes, I know the argument that these guys are losers in their home countries and couldn't score a date there. I am just saying Japan can be very good for Western men. |
Good to hear. Thanks for your post. |
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Rooster_2006
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 984
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Wintermute wrote: |
| My friend was one of those people beaten up by Korean men for having a Korean girl. |
Yeah, a group MOD EDIT attacked me on the way to the supermarket one time for no reason. Welcome to Korea, where they claim to want foreign investment, but if you have a problem with being assaulted, "go back to your own country!"
| Quote: |
| They were walking through a park in the evening when they were hassled by a group of men. In the end it turned into a brawl and he broke his collarbone. Nasty stuff. As for Japanese women, yes, it is not that difficult to find a girlfriend here. I heard of one guy hooking up with a girl his first day in the country. That said, a lot of girls don't take it seriously, just a way to study English and have fun. If you are lucky you find the right girl and it can quickly develop into a strong relationship. My girlfriend is Japanese and we have been together for about 4 years - it's tough but worth the effort. Once we started dating I thought there would be some form of hostility towards us (it happens in Australia unfortunately) but it has never happened. Best of all her family is completely cool with her dating me - something else that worried me initially having heard how strict Asian families can be. |
Thanks for the post. It's amazing how many fewer flames there are here than in the Korean forum (I posted the same thread there). |
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Rooster_2006
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 984
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:33 pm Post subject: Re: Question for Men Who've Lived in Both Japan and Korea |
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| Khyron wrote: |
| Rooster_2006 wrote: |
| Is it considerably easier to get a girlfriend in Japan than Korea? I've heard it is, but want the opinions of guys who have lived in both. I'm not talking about one-night stands or prostitutes -- I'm talking about a regular, normal girlfriend. |
In my experience, both personal and with my foreign friends in both counties, yes... it is considerably easier to get a girlfriend in Japan.
Japanese girls seem much more open to the idea of entering a mixed relationship. On top of that, when the do enter a relationship, things seem to progress a lot more quickly. I think, in general, Korean girls are much more conservative than Japanese girls.
| Quote: |
| I'll admit, I've had one hell of a time with getting one in Korea. I'm 21, handsome (so ajummas and girls in school uniforms say, anyway), and studied Korean at Yonsei for over 1,000 hours, and yet, despite all this, I've had to work very, very hard for very, very little success. It's been almost two years, and I'm getting sick and tired of being constantly, endlessly single (or on first date after endless first date, with girls who then become perpetually busy when I try to call them up for a second one), despite thousands of hours of study of Korean language and customs. |
Perhaps you're trying too hard? Girls seem to notice that sort of thing. Maybe you come off as desperate?
| Quote: |
| I'm holding out hope that Japanese girls aren't as icy towards foreign men as Korean women are. |
There is hope! I hold this opinion my own experience, as to the majority of my friends who've lived in both countries. Even my friends who've lived in China tell me that it's much, much easier in China than Korea.
On the other hand, I didn't find Korea as bad as you're describing. How was your love life in your home country? While true that some guys who'd never have a hope of getting any female attention back home have no worries over here, that is not a sure thing. Maybe some self-reflection wouldn't be a bad idea? Don't take offense to that, I'm just trying to offer up some ideas.
| Quote: |
| I keep on hearing that it's much easier in Japan. I keep on hearing that stupid "status symbol" line but have trouble believing it. It sounds like those ads that you can make thousands of dollars from your PC working a few hours a month. |
To be honest, I think it is, at least, partially true. I do think Japanese girls are much more receptive to foreign guys than Korean girls are. That's not to say that Japanese girls are always easy, but I do think there is a substantially greater amount of girls in Japan that are open to the idea of dating a foreign guy.[/i] |
Thanks for the reply. It's weird. In the Korea forum, everyone's like "it must be something wrong with you" and in this forum, it's "Japanese girls are much more receptive to foreign guys than Korean girls are." I wonder who's right? I'm still trying to find out... |
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Rooster_2006
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 984
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Khyron wrote: |
| dove wrote: |
| Well, the opposite is often (not always....notice how I am protecting myself from the flames threads like these always stir up) true in Japan (at least in Tokyo). |
I can attest that this is also the case in Fukuoka(there were a couple of interesting visa runs between Pusan and Fukuoka. For some reason, the Tenjin area in Fukuoka is VERY good), Hiroshima, Osaka and Kyoto. |
I agree, it IS a good area. While I was there, someone managed to arrange a date between me and this tanned chick who worked at a surf shop. Unfortunately, my ferry left before the scheduled time! Still, based on my limited Japan experience (working at a guest house for foreigners in Korea, going to class with Japanese women, and a couple of visa runs), things are a million times better in Japan, but this could just be the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. So I asked in both the Korea forum and the Japan forum, and the Japan folks are saying "you're right," essentially, and the Korea folks, in their always-congenial way, are like "you're obviously worthless, you'll always suck everywhere." So I wonder who I should believe? It looks like I'm just going to have to wait until next year and see for myself. |
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Ryu Hayabusa
Joined: 08 Jan 2008
Posts: 182
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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| I lived in Korea for a year and a month and I'll be in Japan to stay for at least a year this fall. I'm eager to see how Japan compares to Korea for me. I'll post my experiences and comparisons about it. |
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dove
Joined: 01 Oct 2003
Posts: 271
Location: USA/Japan
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| Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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Many Japanese women are interested in all things international. So those women might be very interested in pursuing a relationship with a Western guy. Now, that relationship could be very superficial. It could be a one-night stand. It could just be a friendship. It could be a meaningful relationship. It could just be the chance to practice English. It could be the chance just to show off her new Western boyfriend, like showing off a new Gucci bag. Whatever. The fact is, many Japanese women are INTERESTED. Lucky for Western guys.
Yeah, I have browsed on the Korean forum and I have felt the flames! This topic is potentially flame inducing here, too. I am only sharing my experiences, insights without judging. It's kind of silly to judge an anonymous poster on an internet forum, isn't it?
Good luck! |
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Rooster_2006
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 984
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 1:13 am Post subject: |
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Well, thanks for the replies, folks.
If I keep replying to everyone who posts here, it's going to take a lot of energy and probably won't actually help with my problem. So this is going to be my last post on this thread. It'd be wonderful to end this thread on a happy note, rather than the "you suck, you suck, you suck" of the same thread in the Korea forum! 
Anyways, for those who tried to help in a constructive way, thanks. |
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