Job Discussion Forums

[CanGirl75]

I've got a good friend who is going to be teaching in the U.A.E. as of September, and he's been trying to talk me into following him. I'm tempted, but as a gay woman I'm curious if there is some sort of underground community for like-minded women there. I realize there wouldn't be anything like lesbian clubs and the like, but does anyone know about any sort of events of community there.

Thanks in advance.

[redeyes]

CanGirl, I have worked /lived closely with Muslims for quite a long time, and I notice a definite duality of attitude concerning gay people -- whilst theoretically, Islam is totally homophobic, and totally intolerant of gays -- the Muslim communities I lived and worked with barely spoke about it, but generally seemed to accept it -- as long as it wasn't discussed openly or made known to all and sundry.

I have known some obviously gay/camp Pakistanis, Arabs and Persians -- but they kept it behind closed doors. It was a kind of "known but never spoken about" situation. I knew Iranians who knew very well which Imams were gay in their particular communities, (certainly very dangerous in Iran) but simply let it go.

However, since I am not gay -- I can't say how comfortable/uncomfortable such a situation/set of unspoken rules would be to actually live and work with.


It's a similar scenario in some parts of Asia, where homosexuality is totally frowned upon culturally/historically -- but most people certainly know who is and isn't gay in the workplace, and typically just leave them alone. What isn't mentioned isn't there.

Any more insights from the UAE people here? I have never lived in the Gulf, so I certainly wouldn't want to comment about how it is there. I have no idea how attitudes are �on the ground� in the Gulf, and can only comment on my more general experience on living and working with very diverse Muslim communities elsewhere.

It's a duality of attitude I find I don't really understand, so other comments from boarders would be interesting. The duality runs thus -- you have a religious and cultural set of rules that is clearly anti gay, and sometimes punishes gays severely -- but often within communities, it seems to be overlooked and ignored.

[lall]

Hey CanGirl,
I suspect that the mods. may not let this thread last long. There was a similar thread started by a male, sometime ago which was brought down.

However, here we go:

Contrary to what so many would like to believe, I do not mean to pontificate. A person's leanings are a personal choice. Further, if modern research is to be believed, the brain is hard-wired in that direction.

I'm only posting here with some words of caution. LGB is illegal (I'm not sure about the "T" part).

Further, when authorities get the urge to do a bit of cracking down, the one's they will target would be foreigners (with a nice distribution across nationalities, to pre-empt accusations of favouritism), with a couple of locals thrown in.

Also, please don't delude yourself that they don't know about the LGB meeting places.

IMHO, one is asking for trouble if one indulges in any of the following:
- Bringing in pork/alcohol (You can buy pork/alcohol from legal outlets)
- Moonlighting (second, illegal job)
- Cohabiting/sneaking in partners/LGB
- Using the Net to illegally make phone calls/surfing prohibited sites
- Letting a spouse work illegally
- Using narcotics

Good luck.

Lall.

[redeyes]

Lal wrote --

[lall]

[redeyes]

Thanks for clarifying Lall -- those web restrictions sound very sensible to me, rather than repressive ( besides of course, the repression of wedding partner sites -- perhaps the authorities feel those sites woud lead to fake marriages etc or "immoral liaisons"? ).

[lall]

[wannago]

[veiledsentiments]

Rather than hijack a thread to discuss your unhappiness with your lack of Skype... back to the question.

In my 15+ years around the Gulf, I never heard any mention of what you are looking for. This is a very Victorian society and thus everything has to be very discreet. If you were arriving as a teaching 'couple' - hired separately and the employer not knowing the situation - there would be little problem. In fact, easier than for a cohabiting hetero couple in many places.

The underground Gay lifestyle is alive and well, but there is the occasional round-up and a few of the male teachers disappear - not into jail, but out of a job. But, since the men of this culture lead a very public life, it is easier for like-minded individuals to find each other. The women are so cloistered - and in many places if you go out on the street, you will be the only woman in sight - that I am not sure how an expat Westerner would connect.

If I were you, I would wait and see what your friend finds after he gets there and perhaps visit him to check things out.

VS

[Mia Xanthi]

I recently spoke to a former colleague working in the UAE, and she said that L activity among the Emirati girls over there is just as "in vogue" as it is here in Saudi Arabia. By that, I mean that there are what seems to be an unusually large number of young female students engaging in L relationships, whether or not they are actually L. There seems to be a lot of experimentation going on in a society that encourages women to mix only with women.

I hear that there are clubs here for women in Riyadh. It's actually a perfect place for that sort of thing, considering that all-female (or all-male, for that matter) gatherings are the norm.

There were a lot of discreet G men in the UAE who seemed to be able to lead a nice, low-key lifestyle there. I could only imagine that it would be even easier for L women, considering that this is a part of the world where women are encouraged to keep only female company.