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gaijinalways · Joined: 29 Nov 2005 Posts: 2279

It can be tough NG. I myself am feeling a bit guilty about not going back tothe US for 2 and a half years now. As Glenski said, a webcam can open up new worlds. I'm considering getting one myself, as well as buying one for my parents, who recntly went to something other than a dial up connection.

I like that idea of collecting stuff when you go back, I'm not always so good about doing that (sometimes just too busy enjoying myself Laughing

).

Don't worry, you'll always find there is an information gap. I find that with people here especially as I work with a lot of different nationlities. As to ignorance of other places, it works both ways, sometimes things that seem an obvious solution in one culture don't exist as an option in another because of cost, illegality, unavailablility, etc.

The Gallagher case is a whole other bag of worms. Heavy stuff.

J. · Joined: 03 May 2003 Posts: 327

Reverse culture shock at first means seeing your country from the perspective of a visitor, and that means seeing all the cracks that long acquaintance makes you overlook. It is not that comfortable an experiece, especially as you tend to forget these things and idealize your country while you are away, whether subconsciously or not.

The same thing for family. When you meet them again, you will clearly see why you might have chosen to live abroad, though if you stuck around long enough, you would begin to establish a new relationship with them, based on who you are now, and who they are. You can't really go back, either to who you were, or who they were, espcially if enough time has passed. But that's not always a bad thing; you have a chance for a fresh start.

It takes awhile to get re-adapted to North American culture, with its excess, facile interactions, and seemingly distant way of relating. Of course, it all depends on which culture you have become adapted to, as to what things you will think are wrong with home.

For example, I miss the warmth of the Japanese style of being in a group, and support as a member of that group. And I miss the sensitive appreciation of the seasons, rituals, and the way of marking the passing of the seasons and years. I even miss the respect for tradition and family that seems so much less important here.

But I am coming to terms with what there is here and I never fail to appreciate the fresh air and trees, open spaces, and beautiful sea. I even like the snow.

The advice to do things you will miss when you leave is good. Maybe you can also take some pictures that you and your students will appreciate later. Try to take what you can from the experience.

Take care.

Smile

JZer · Joined: 16 Jan 2005 Posts: 3898 Location: Pittsburgh

JZer · Joined: 16 Jan 2005 Posts: 3898 Location: Pittsburgh

parrothead · Joined: 02 Nov 2003 Posts: 342 Location: Japan

zeke0606 · Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 6:59 am Post subject: What?

parrothead ---

Very well said! Aren't we the people that our parents warned us about?

Zeke

gaijinalways · Joined: 29 Nov 2005 Posts: 2279

JZer · Joined: 16 Jan 2005 Posts: 3898 Location: Pittsburgh

parrothead · Joined: 02 Nov 2003 Posts: 342 Location: Japan

I imagine most of us have experienced a lot of ignorance from friends and family about the countries we live and work in. Or "ignore-ance". They just aren't curious. Again, not their fault. They have their own lives to contend with. Of course it would be nice not to have to deal with cringe-worthy questions and assumptions, like "how long does it take to drive to Japan?" "I suppose you eat cats like these all the time over there, don'tcha? "Quick, what am I saying?: ching chow fu wong chang". Ugh.

Guy Courchesne · Joined: 10 Mar 2003 Posts: 9650 Location: Mexico City

I'm lucky enough I guess to have not experienced that level of ignorance. When back home, I'll get questions like 'what language do they speak in Mexico?' or 'can you get Internet there?', but not much worse than that. In fact, quite a number of friends are genuinely impressed that I live abroad - though maybe they think it impressive to have merely survived what they think Mexico is!

Family has been really great. The folks have been down mutliple times to visit and my cousin and his wife actually decided to follow in my footsteps, moving here 6 months ago.

scot47 · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Posts: 15343

My advice is "Don't go back - ever!"

JZer · Joined: 16 Jan 2005 Posts: 3898 Location: Pittsburgh

johnslat · Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject:

I don't think you can/should give any "one size fits all" advice. It's been my experience that some people are more susceptible to "culture shock" and "reverse culture shock" than others, running the gamut from "hardly any" to "get me outta here."

J. · Joined: 03 May 2003 Posts: 327

Well, I think it depends on what your experiences are in Japan, and maybe how long you are there. Yes, there are tacky decorations (just like here) but there are also gorgeous flower arangements featuring seasonal flowers in almost every country train station, flowers changed daily by volunteers who are masters of ikebana. People's houses, the shops, shrines, temples and restaurants also feature flowers, something I don't see much here.

There are seasonal foods too, and that might be something you notice more. Of course we have them too here but there is more of an emphasis on using seasonal fresh food there, at least in traditional cooking.

I was living in the country and developed a warm relationship with a few classes of adults, so that we celebrated the special days of Japan, talked about the seasons and Japanese traditions. I felt their closeness and saw their support of their children and grand-children very clearly. It was usual for family to gather on more occasions than I think we can here, with the norm being people scattered around for jobs. Japan is smaller so getting together is easier, and there are usually breaks so that people can travel home in the summer, winter and spring.

Another example is the level of support offered to young marrying couples, who usually have housing arranged, furniture paid for and enough to start off without debt. Another thing was that women having a baby had the option of going and staying at her parents house for the first month, where she could get a lot of help and support from primarily her mother. There were many more acts of support of this kind that may once have been the norm in North America but that have largely disappeared.

By distant way of relating, I am referring to the outward positive expressions people use when talking with the feeling behind them not meant to last any longer than the time they take to fade from the air. Everything is "great", "awesome", and "sweet", but is it really? Seems to me there is a lot of superficial friendliness but it doesn't go very deep.

There are lots of things in the paper about family problems and school bullying and people snapping under social pressure. I do think the sense of conformity imposed in Japan contributes to that. I also remember the negatives; you notice I said I missed SOME things.

gaijinalways · Joined: 29 Nov 2005 Posts: 2279

Interesting that you mentioned the word 'great' as one of the overused words in N. America. If ever there was a more over used word in Japan, that would be it. That and delicious. Imagine, if everything really was delciious, then what would you compare food to?

Yes, the ikebana is really something, though there are times are I find it quite artificial, wires and all.

Wel, you can see I haven't left Japan yet, the negatives seem to swim readily to mind.