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Muslim Husband and Non Muslim wife
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helenl



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 1202

PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure this doesn't apply to you but in a Muslim country should the marriage end - the Muslim father will have more "rights" than you do. Of course, this would be the case in an all Muslim custody battle too. I only mention it because if it gets ugly, he can prevent you and the child from leaving freely.

I know many women married to Muslims (with families) who get along very nicely thankyou - so it's a rare issue.
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Nordic



Joined: 15 Jan 2009
Posts: 22

PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 5:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most schools directly ask what the religion of the child is. All Muslim children must attend Islamic classes. If you put any other religion in the application form, there is no obligation. However, the fact that father's name indicates that he is Muslim, might bring up a few questions.
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Londrinense



Joined: 20 Apr 2009
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 9:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see...

Actually, my husband is as Muslim as I am Christian... Meaning we were born in practicing families but that's it.

The difference is that I am comfortable saying I do not have a religion, but my husband isn't. And he does go to mosque, say, once every 3 years when we visit his home country.

helenl, ever since I married my husband ( 11 years ago), people have been curious as to whether I had seen the movie "Never without my daughter".

I just hope he doesn't have an evil alter ego just waiting to take over once we step in the ME! Wink
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veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 17644
Location: USA

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 1:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londrinense wrote:
The difference is that I am comfortable saying I do not have a religion, but my husband isn't.

And for the same reason, you would need to put Muslim as the religion of your child(ren)... because that is what will be assumed in the Muslim world. It is easier not to try to change the system. Laughing Like you said, it wouldn't hurt your child to take a class. We all make up our own mind as we grow up anyway.

VS
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Never Ceased To Be Amazed



Joined: 22 Oct 2004
Posts: 3500
Location: Shhh...don't talk to me...I'm playin' dead...

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 3:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londrinense wrote:
...as to whether I had seen the movie "Never without my daughter".

I just hope he doesn't have an evil alter ego just waiting to take over once we step in the ME! Wink

I personnaly know of such a case. A pity though as she had to leave all of us in a lurch while she secretly took her boy out of the country one night after her husband went uber-religious on her. This happened DURing the course of one year. Sometimes, it seems, that coming to the Middle East has a "Call of the Wild" effect for some who were raised as a non-practicing Muslim (as supposedly he was) sometimes find his (or her) religion after arriving and changes personalities.



NCTBA
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helenl



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 1202

PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 4:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was a recent case in Dubai - of course each is individual, the husband accused his British (I think) wife of adultery after she had tea with another man who fixed her computer. She ended up in jail and is to be deported imminently (if she's not gone already) and the children are staying behind.
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trapezius



Joined: 13 Aug 2006
Posts: 1670
Location: Land of Culture of Death & Destruction

PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

^ That is sick and tragic Evil or Very Mad Poor kids Sad

Of course, building the world's largest mall and tallest building makes it all OK.

There are special pits in hell reserved for such people.


Quote:
I wonder if the fact that he is a Muslim and I am not will cause us any problems. For his family and community, it is a major issue that I haven't converted, so I am a bit worried about the kind of response we might get.


The only consequence of this is that he will be asked by every friend and colleague if you are a Muslim or not, and will be advised and exhorted by some of them that he teaches you and convinces you, as I encounter frequently. It just never gets old with some people...

"Where is your wife from?"

She is British.

"Is she of Pakistani/Indian origin, or British British?"

She is "British British."

"Is she Muslim?"

[Secret sigh] Rolling Eyes (and some of these people do all sorts of things that are against Islam... but that's OK, they are still better people because they are Muslims... double Rolling Eyes )
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Cleopatra



Joined: 28 Jun 2003
Posts: 3657
Location: Tuamago Archipelago

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
There was a recent case in Dubai - of course each is individual, the husband accused his British (I think) wife of adultery after she had tea with another man who fixed her computer.


There are a few things that I think should be pointed out about this case. Firstly, the woman's husband was also British and non-Muslim (I think many people reading your post might assume he was Emirati). Secondly, there was a bit more going on than her having "tea with another man who fixed her computer". She was caught in a five star hotel with her alleged lover (they had spent 6 days together)in the early hours of the morning, and subsequently pleaded guilty to adultery.

Obviously I'm not condoning what the man did, and I don't agree with a legal system which criminalises what people do in their own marriages. However, the fact is that marriage breakups -particularly those involving custody of children- can be deeply nasty affairs which bring out the very worst in people. Certainly, many British (and other) women are quite capable of using the full extent of the law to punish their adulterous husbands.
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helenl



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 1202

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cleo - this is a separate, earlier case. She was British, she was married to a Muslim (don't know if he was Emirati) and he accused her of adultery with someone who had come to the house to fix a computer, she was arrested and deported - her (their) children remain in UAE with their father.
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Cleopatra



Joined: 28 Jun 2003
Posts: 3657
Location: Tuamago Archipelago

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, thanks for the clarification.

However, the more recent case makes it clear that this is not a "Muslim husband/non Muslim wife" issue.
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trapezius



Joined: 13 Aug 2006
Posts: 1670
Location: Land of Culture of Death & Destruction

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I forgot to finish the interrogations I face:


"Where is your wife from?"

She is British.

"Is she of Pakistani/Indian origin, or British British?"

She is "British British."

"Is she Muslim?"

[Secret sigh] Rolling Eyes No, she is not.

THEN WHAT FOLLOWS IS A BARRAGE OF POINTED QUESTIONS.

"Will she convert?"
"Does she know about Islam?"
"Are you trying to convince her?"
"Are you teaching her about Islam?"

It is her decision.

AND A NEW QUESTION FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS:

"What about your daughter, what religion will she follow?"

Of course she will be Muslim. (Any other answer is just unacceptable to be said in public to people, so I just say that... any other country, I would not hide the truth, but here is a different story in some cases, such as this one)
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Cleopatra



Joined: 28 Jun 2003
Posts: 3657
Location: Tuamago Archipelago

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:

I forgot to finish the interrogations I face:


That's quite alright.

I think most of us who live in this part of the world are quite used to being quizzed about our religion/family/marital status/income etc. If I had a rial for every time I was asked if I was a Muslim (and why not?) or if I was married (and why not?) or if I had children (and why not?) and so on and so forth, I could retire tomorrow.
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spicegirl



Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Posts: 112

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In the first case of adultery which helenl mentions, the husband who dobbed his wife in was an Egyptian Muslim, if I remember correctly - anyway, he wasn't an Emirati.
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basiltherat



Joined: 04 Oct 2003
Posts: 952

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 12:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I think most of us who live in this part of the world are quite used to being quizzed about our religion/family/marital status/income etc. If I had a rial for every time I was asked if I was a Muslim (and why not?) or if I was married (and why not?) or if I had children (and why not?) and so on and so forth, I could retire tomorrow.


I agree. Another comment you get is:

"You should read the Quran. It's miraculous/wonderful !"

When you tell them you HAVE (and several times, too) as well as a lot of the Hadith/Sunnah, they tend to try and escape your presence.

I find this quite amusing.

best
basil Smile
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mishmumkin



Joined: 01 Sep 2007
Posts: 929

PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Londrinense wrote:
Thank you so much for the replies.

Hubby and I come from different countries and where he comes from it is expected that the wife converts. They interpret that passage from the Qur'an as it's ok to marry 'people of the Book', but they must obviously convert.
That has never been an issue for us, but now that we are considering living in the ME, we would like to know what to expect.

I assume Saudi Arabia should be avoided, but do you guys think we'd really have a problem in places like Oman or UAE?

We'd rather spare her from attending religious classes, but it's no big deal if there's no way out.


I think you've already encountered this, but naturally people within the community will want to advise your husband. Keep the issue of religious education private. Since your child is young this is less of an issue at present, but some k-12 schools will automatically put Muslim children into religion classes. Since your spouse is Muslim, the child will be identified as Muslim. Something to keep in mind 4 years down the road.
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