Job Discussion Forums

[GambateBingBangBOOM]

Have you thought about asking if he'd come with you? (assuming he has or will have a degree)

Another option. You've been together for four years. Make an agreement that you'll be away for at least one year, but it may be more, but that you WILL come back some time, and if you can't, then that he'll go out to meet you. He'll come out to see you when he can, you'll go out when you can. If you are both willing to make it work, then it can. You just have to always keep looking at the big picture. If you plan on getting married than one two even five years isn't that long compared with the rest of your life.

[naturegirl321]

I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Talk and agree where you'�re going to live BEFORE you get married. Having married a foreigner, and having acquired citizenship, I'll be brutally honest and say that divorce has crossed my mind more than once as a way out of this country. Although I love my husband, I hate his country and it has really affected our marriage.

[ESL Hobo]

Here's an idea.
Do an inventory of of likes and dislikes between you and your BF concerning the idea of tefler life.

1) Does he like to travel AND LIVE in other countries or is he more the homebound type, tied to friends and family.
2) If you have a serious record of wanderlust and he doesn't, watch out.
3) Maybe you just feel like being foot loose and fancy free for a year, if so, don't force yourself to stay in one place for a relationship. Go with your heart, if he can't let you go for a year, maybe he's not who you are looking for.
4) On the other hand, if you think that you really want your BF to come along, ask him.

Anyway you get the idea. Ask him and yourself a lot of questions and come to a mature decision. Perhaps involve an impartial third person, like a guidance counselor.

Personally, when I graduated from college(in your same situation) I broke up with a nurse because she was having second thoughts about being married to a traveling man. And I am glad we broke up. She married a Minister and they have a stable family life and love staying in one spot.

best of luck.

[JZer]

[ESL Hobo]

Breaking up is hard to do
But it's a lot easier than being married

[guangho]

It's more about the person then the obstacles. I just got out of a 2 year relationship here in the States because it wasn't going to work, whether we lived in the same house or 4000 miles apart.

That said, long distance romance is usually much harder because while you can have cam time, skype, IM, etc etc, it just isn't the same as intimacy between flesh and blood people and that takes its toll.

[cks]

Just when I planned to leave the Czech Republic, I met my boyfriend who wants to marry me. I am in Nature Girl's situation. I like my boyfriend but am not sure if I want to commit myself to the Czech Republic. Don't want to go back to the States either. I don't hate it here, but I feel that there is something else I am missing. I am utterly confused and do not know where I belong! Good men are so hard to find in any country. What to do?

[spiral78]

You've answered your own questions: 'he wants to marry me' and 'I like him.'

I felt (and still feel ten years on) FAR more strongly positive about my Czech spouse. I wanted the marraige equally, and it was way stronger than 'liking!!'

Don't do it. NG may disagree thanks to the EU passport thing, which many people would love to have. However, that's a bit complex on a couple of levels:

As a spouse you get permanent residency, but this is not citizenship and does not necessarily mean you can work in other EU member countries.

You have to take up Czech citizenship to get actual working rights in the EU. When I last checked in 2008, that still meant giving up your original citizenship, as the Czech government doesn't recognise dual citizenship. This may/should change in 2010, I believe.

All of the above is useless if your Czech husband doesn't want to leave his country to live/work somewhere else. In that case, you would be committed to the CR. This sounds like heaven to me, but you clearly are less excited about the prospect.

Don't do it.

[cks]

Thanks Spiral. I have the Grass in Greener on the Other Side Syndrom though. I never seem to be satisfied with what I have and am afraid of losing my wonderful boyfriend and easy-going lifestyle in the most beautiful city in the world. I just never know if I am taking things for granted and fear making a huge mistake by sacrificing my boyfriend and life here. I like it here alot and have nothing to go home to in the States. He said that he would be willing to move to the States, but I know he would never be able to get the same type of career there (he is a lawyer). I do not think I could ever fit in or like the U.S anymore either.

Anyway, I have this secret fantasy in my mind of moving to Western Europe but I know it is almost impossible for us non EU citizens. So I always wonder if I am just taking my life for granted here. I am happy but not really in love with the Czech Republic. Well, I want to PM you after I make enough posts! If you ever need a place to stay in Prague, you are welcome to stay with us. Let me know if I can do anything for you Spiral.

[spiral78]

I don't know your age, of course (and it's not entirely relevant anyway) but maybe you're just not ready to settle down yet

Sure, pm me whenever you can/want to.

Thanks for the invite also - I'm lucky to have relatives in Prague with a flat that's empty 90% of the time, so I've always got a temporary home there:) I agree - the most beautiful city in the world, and the only place I've ever been homesick for in my life! I had thought I'd be in the CR this month, but got stuck moving flats here in the Netherlands, along with other work

[cks]

I am 36, ready to settle down, have romance, but still want adventure and excitement and to see the world. Impossible, right! Throughout the years you have always been helping everyone on this site but seem to need nothing in return. Please let me know if I can do anything for you. After I reach my 25 posts I will PM you and hopefully we can meet up someday.

[spiral78]

Thanks - it would be great to meet up in Prague sometime for a lunch or something:)

I didn't 'settle down' to a marraige until I was 40. Maybe you're getting close

[naturegirl321]

While I wouldn-t marry for a passport or residency, hindsight is 20 20 and all I can say is that if you marry someone from a different country, you better have a serious talk about where you-re going to live before you get married.

[Justin Trullinger]

[anyway]