Job Discussion Forums

[MikeySaid]

I've noticed lately that in cases where two obviously foreign people are in the same place at the same time... there's an exchange of looks but in many or most cases, an avoidance of contact.

I'm just as much a practitioner as I am an observer of the behavior but its strange to me because I also hang out with foreigners I meet through work...

Any theories on why all that comes out is the "hey you're like me" look and not a "hey, a bunch of us get together and have barbecues, why don't you give me your number?" ???

[al capone]

As you are a foriegner i,m ignoring you although we look similar

[spanglish]

Maybe our desire to have our own private cultural experience? And seeing another foreigner is like having mom or dad show up to the party?

I know what you're talking about. It can be sort of a quasi-uncomfortable experience to see another foreigner.

There's also the, "I'm more culturally suave than you" feeling or just the simple desire to culturally immerse every second that makes us want to avoid other foreigners.

[Samantha]

The subject of foreigners gravitating towards each other (or not) is an interesting one. Some foreigners will only associate with other foreigners and hang out in places where they know there will be other foreigners. Others completely immerse, never get on the internet or speak English while in Mexico.

My thoughts are if it is someone I wouldn't necessarily attempt to befriend back home, then why would that change because we are both in Mexico? The other thing is that many foreigners who have lived in Mexico for a long time get exhausted putting time and energy into new relationships with foreigners who mostly seem to move on rather quickly. Where I live, long-time foreigners usually have a good friendship base established with both other long-time foreigners and Mexican nationals. Snowbirds who come down for the winter only hang out with each other, do charity events together, drink, compare the best bargains of the day etc. and that's their thing. A whole bunch of new best friends to email for the summer until they meet again in Mexico. Just my thoughts based on personal experience here.

[Phil_K]

I pretty much agree with Samantha. Mexico is where I live - life goes on, despite some people thinking I am living on easy-street in some tropical paraside (sic).

[al capone]

Generally i base friendships etc on the people character rather than the race,nationality, time they are here etc.

I,ve travelled quite a bit and hear the same rubbish "oh, i wanna mix with the natives" like your Bruce Parry or David Attenborough.

Pretty sure the Mexicans don,t give a flying fxxk.

Good people are good people

[parrothead]

I think this phenomenon exists elsewhere too. I frequently experience it here in Japan where there are far fewer foreigners. I wish I knew why, but it often feels like some kind of harmony has been interupted whenever two foreigners see each other on the street.

[sarliz]

Man, I had an experience that still gets me riled. I had arrived in Oaxaca, accidentally right at the height of "las problemas", while there were still buses burning in the streets, right before the PFP rolled in, when no one was in the street at night, and I was literally the only person staying in my posada. I started working giving classes at the airport, and there was one other teacher there, too. I mentioned to her that it would be nice to go out and get a beer or coffee or whatever, because I hadn't really had a chance to see the city, and was kind of freaked out by everything going on, to which she replied "Yeah, I don't really hang out with other gringos, because I like to speak Spanish with Mexicans." I just about punched her in the throat.

[Samantha]

Be glad you found out early what she was like and didn't waste time. We have that here too. I overheard one long-time Gringa, when in a group where everyone spoke English but not all could speak Spanish, turn the conversation from English to Spanish by announcing "I don't feel like speaking English today". We refer to that rude behaviour as "pulling rank".

[leslie]

Bye

[Dragonlady]

deleted

not directly related to TESOL

[leslie]

Bye

[sarliz]

Thanks for the kind words, all. I did move on pretty quickly, and found other lovely people to hang out with in Oaxaca, which did settle down eventually and was (and I'm sure still is) a great place to live.

[sweeney66]

While I was always friendly to new teachers at my school, I often found that that other foreigners were going through the super negative and super vocal part of culture shock, and it freaked me out (so I knew that the students could understand them) so I stopped .

[JakeJakeJake]

my Japan