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Anybody scared to go home?
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dmb



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 11:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i haven't lived in the Uk for about 12 years. When I do go back for a visit it does seem very alien. I quickly realise why I left in the first place
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 11:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I go back to the UK now I feel like a foreigner. Maybe I am .
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arioch36



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 3589

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 1:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess I'm a little scared about not returning home. I have a house there. My uni offered me a good Phd. deal. Why am I still in China? What future is there for me? But if I stay here long term, I should sell the house (and become rich in China)

But I taught in the uni. I like teaching here better. But I miss the freedom of a car, controlling my life, being with people that make sense, clean air and natural scenery.

I feel I'm at that point where I must make a career decision. Be a lifer, or return home. But do what, now that I am getting up there in years (the big 40)

Who knew that when I set off for China I would still be here years later.
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icollin



Joined: 05 Feb 2003
Posts: 39

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 1:40 pm    Post subject: it's hard to let go Reply with quote

Well, I just got home in same old Canada, and I must say, I hate it here. When I was in Japan, just the thought of coming back home made me ill. For months, I was in the denial mode...I thought if I don't think about it, it won't bother me. You ear all the stories about reversed culture shock, and they are allllllllllllll true. The culture, the food, the environment, your friends...you miss everything. I have only been back for a month (today actually) and all I can think about, is leaving again. I have changed a lot in 1 year, but now it looks like I am becoming the same person I was before leaving. Much harder than I expected. Please forgive me for being so negative.
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ntropy



Joined: 11 Oct 2003
Posts: 671
Location: ghurba

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:13 pm    Post subject: read it Reply with quote

Two words: Villa Incognito


Read the book
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:28 pm    Post subject: The Villa Reply with quote

Dear ntropy,
Funny you should mention that - I just did. Good, as Tom Robbins always is, but not, in my opinion, one of his best. I fear I have to agree with this review on Amazon.com

"Tom, Grow UP!, January 4, 2004
Reviewer: A reader from Charlotte, NC
Or at least, just GROW! You've been writing the same stuff since Roadside Attraction. At least, in the past, you've appeared to make an effort. But Villa, Tom, Tom, Tom! It's like you never even intended to finish the book. Being outrageous is not the same as being original. Take some time off, reflect on what you've become (yourself thirty years ago), and try again. In the meantime, I recommend to you dear offended review reader, to try some of the newer crop of "outrageous" authors out there. Christopher Moore, for example (though not Fluke, that was a let down), try Lamb."

And "Lamb" by the way, is wonderful - like the "old Robbins".

Regards,
John
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desert flower



Joined: 09 Mar 2004
Posts: 6
Location: Qatar

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I return to Canada once or twice a year and find it more and more difficult to re-adapt. Like some of you, I also feel like a foreigner in my own country even though I have been gone for only 5 years.

Friends are always happy to see me back but we seem to have less and less in common. I share my experiences with them but not too many reactions except that they think I am living on another planet. They cannot understand why I am staying away from Canada and think that I am wasting precious time being as old as I am. Rolling Eyes

I am enjoying life abroad and really do not care what anyone else thinks. But I have to admit that it will difficult to return and start a new life again. I do not miss the daily habits of people back in Canada, the boredom of it all, so I try and enjoy every moment while abroad and not think about the re-adjustment period I will have to go through when I return. One day at a time is my "policy" .
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ntropy



Joined: 11 Oct 2003
Posts: 671
Location: ghurba

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 5:25 pm    Post subject: slats right again Reply with quote

You're absolutely right, Slats. The worst of his 8(?) books. But an interesting theme. Not wanting to go home.

IMHO, his best books are Another Roadside Attraction, Even Cowgirls Get the BLues and Still Life with Woodpecker, although Fierce Invalids had some interesting bits. The early stuff was much better than the recent. Is that because I expect more, or RObbins has stagnated?

Thanks for the recommendation on Lamb and Christopher Moore. I'll give him a try.
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yossarian



Joined: 20 Mar 2004
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 7:01 pm    Post subject: Addicted to culture shock Reply with quote

Did anyone see the last lord of the rings movie? did anyone stay awake until the end? Wink There's this part at the end where all those lil hobbits return to their tiny town, go in a bar, and just sit there. And they look reeeeal awkward. No one knows what to do after having seen so much of the world.
Perhaps its silly to compare people's feelings with a movie -- especially one where people have pointy ears and fly.

Anyways, I spent my first year of grad school in Italy and it triggered something that it didn't in my friends. Although we all missed our respective friends from whereever we came from before, I was the only one who never once missed anything culturally familiar about America. I felt at home with the weird weightlessness of being in a bubble, both in a tightknit group of expats, and simultaneously isolated from a larger crowd.
When I came home (where I still am now) I felt completely out of sorts (still do) and no one else in grad school had a similar feeling. It took me awhile to realize that it's not strange, that it happens to lots of people, and its because they're of a certain personality type that thrives on that kind of change. Is it bad? Not if it's working for you; I wouldn't recommend a country town to a cityslicker, and--
if you're dreading coming home, maybe its because the domestic scene you grew up in just isn't right anymore. I wouldn't second-guess that feelng simply because the general consensus is that growing roots (especially where you grew up/went to school) is the healthier choice.
I'm planning on doing the ESL thing this fall after saving up some -- probably Eastern Europe. If it isn't for me I'll move again, but it won't be Philly.
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 7:02 pm    Post subject: Moore Robbins Reply with quote

Dear ntrophy,
I agree with your Robbins' picks, though I'd add "Jitterbug Perfume", as well.

"Is that because I expect more, or Robbins has stagnated?"

Perhaps the answer to both is, "Yes". And who knows? Maybe it's also because, in addition to his - I'd say - lack of innovation, the style and panache that so impressed us years ago has worn a bit thin. Still, Moore is also "over the top", yet I find his stuff more (no pun intended) engaging. You might want to check out his web site:

http://www.chrismoore.com/

Regards,
John
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khmerhit



Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 1874
Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yossarian painted the scene:
Quote:
There's this part at the end where all those lil hobbits return to their tiny town, go in a bar, and just sit there. And they look reeeeal awkward. No one knows what to do after having seen so much of the world.


I'm not a hobbit (I dont think)-- but I know the feeling. Still do!
You have my sympathies, along with the others on this thread who are feeling like aliens. It takes a while to pull out of it, but you will, though maybe not entirely!

all the grooviest
khmerhit Cool
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 8:06 pm    Post subject: Hobbit forming Reply with quote

" There's this part at the end where all those lil hobbits return to their tiny town, go in a bar, and just sit there. And they look reeeeal awkward. No one knows what to do after having seen so much of the world."

Yeah, it's hard to kick the hobbit.

How about it, dmb; is this even worse than the "Turkey/Pork" one?
Regards,
John
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khmerhit



Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 1874
Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 8:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked groan Arrow
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dmb



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear John,
Oh dear!!
Have you been smoking something illegal tonight?
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 24, 2004 8:23 pm    Post subject: A pun, my word Reply with quote

Dear dmb,
Clean and sober, I swear. And if you think those were bad, you should have been around when I was in my cups or doing a bit of the whacky tabaccy.
Regards,
John
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