Job Discussion Forums

[johnslat]

Dear CanItBILuvASaud,

I agree with the Sheik. In my time in Saudi (nineteen years,) many of my students wanted "a ticket out." I will say this, however - they wanted a "round-trip" ticket, in the sense that although they might spend even years outside the Kingdom, they knew they would be back one day.

I knew of only one Saudi who went to the States to study and never (to the best of my knowledge) returned. The lure of the family is, I'd say, simply far too strong to be disregarded.

Regards,
John

[veiledsentiments]

[CanItBILuvASaudi]

[johnslat]

Dear

"That said, I was replying to him, and only him. Not you. Im not sure if you are their mother or if you have just arrogated to yourself the title of defender of the Saudi Arabia boards, but I'd suggest you let my interaction remain between myself and him."

This is a public discussion forum, and you'll find that many posters often respond to posts made to another poster (for example, I'm doing so now.)

I'm afraid if you expect "interaction" to be only "one-to-one," you're going to find that's seldom the case.


"If there are saudis who want to leave bc they think theres a yellow brick road to wealth in USA, then I reiterate that they are barking up the wrong tree."

You're likely quite right about its being "the wrong tree," but there are so many misconceptions that lots of Saudis have about "the West," - even as so many "Westerners" have about Saudi - fueled by movies and TV that there's a lot of barking up the illusionary tree.

Regards,
John

[littleoldlady]

As JohnS said, the lure of the family is so great it will pull him back and he won't be able to resist it. I know, I am a survivor of that and nearly lost my kids into the bargain. I married at 23, still at university and at 94 am still bearing the scars and suffering from PTSD.

Please.... listen to the people here.

[CanItBILuvASaudi]

[johnslat]

Dear LOL,

" . . . and at 94 . . ."

Mama mia - I don't know about the "little," but you sure as heck ARE old."



Regards,
John

[littleoldlady]

and still going strong John.

[meyanga]

CanItBILuvASaudi,

I really understand where you are coming from - you are obviously really taken with this guy - and that's great.....but I think you should understand that none of the posters are trying to argue with you, they are simply telling you about what they know/have seen and heard during their experience. It may be that it's just not what you want to hear, but, speaking from experience, the truth sometimes hurts and denial can be a safe haven for only a short while. I am not saying that marriage with this guy would definately be a bad idea - just that there is soooooooooooooooooooo much more to consider than in non Saudi circumstances.

I've only been in KSA for just over a year, but we have some locally hired women at our work (British and American) with Saudi husbands. One has a really rich, very open minded husband and she travels all over the world with her kids while he works. They seem happy. She studies and works when it suits her and leads a great life.

Another, who is now in her mid 50s, is struggling to make ends meet in a small apartment on her own, after her husband of 25 years (and father of her 5 kids) returned from a business trip to Morocco with a new wife!!!!! She has had to deal with phone calls in the middle of the night from her crying kids who she hasn't been able to see for months. She is distraught and miserable. She can do NOTHING.

My husband is African and intercultural marriages can be as interesting as they are difficult. However...just think hard about the Saudi laws. Who knows what could happen 5, 10 or 15 years down the line. I have two beautiful children and the thought of ever losing them is too hard to even contemplate. Think about it. We can all recover after divorce...but losing children?

meyanga

[CanItBILuvASaudi]

After Stephen politely informed me that I had 'serious problems"," sheikhnbake said,

[CanItBILuvASaudi]

[johnslat]

Dear CanItBILuvASaudi,

And please remember that even the greatest guy in the world (me, for example) can be a selfish, stupid, nasty dolt on occasion (yes, believe it or not, I have been - and undoubtedly will be again.)

Marriage - as you undoubtedly know, having been down that road before - can be a minefield; the misstep on the part of either partner can occasion an explosion. When one partner holds most, if not all, of the power in that relationship, well, the temptation to exercise it when what might begin as a small dispute occurs can be irresistible.

And never forget this: Men (NO exceptions) are JERKS!!!!!!!

Regards,
John

[CanItBILuvASaudi]

[veiledsentiments]

Well, I've know SnB for a long time on this board, so I wouldn't be all that bothered... and we women too get away with sexist comments. He is just one of the many on here who think you are probably making a big mistake.

But... it's your life and you have clearly made your decision and will choose to believe what you want to hear and ignore or denigrate what you don't.

Good Luck Yaz

VS

[johnslat]

Dear CanItBILuvASaudi,

I am indeed - for the third time (but in my case, as an non-Muslim, it's only serial polygamy.)

To hear ME tell it, the problem the first two times was (of course) not MY fault at all - the ladies might see it differently, however.

But on my third try, I seem to have been fortunate enough to have found one who has considerable tolerance for jerks.

Regards,
John