Job Discussion Forums

chengdu4me · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 8:25 pm Post subject:

No John, don't check into it. Let the Dean, the students and his parents check into it.

By concerning yourself with this issue after kicking him out of your class, you will be showing a willingness to help with a compromise. "They" will help you with that by letting YOU compromise and letting him back into class.

Hold your ground and drop it.

JMHO

johntpartee · Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 3258

You know, that's right. I wanted him out of my hair. He's not my problem. Anymore.

Sinobear · Joined: 24 Aug 2004 Posts: 1269 Location: Purgatory

And now for something completely different:

Talk to the students in your class with the Dean present. Explain your POV and then let the other students decide if the kid can come back or not. If they are in favor of letting him back in, then state clearly that it is the other students who will be responsible for the boy's actions.

This way, you are showing that you are not the 'gunboat diplomacy' foreigner that the Chinese can't stand, that you are tuned in on how the Chinese prefer to solve problems (collective) and you put the onus firmly on their anus for whatever happens thereafter.

Whether you perceive that you're right or wrong won't matter if the school thinks that you are the one being difficult and therefore you are the one that has to go.

johntpartee · Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 3258

BUT wouldn't that put the students on the spot? They might say let him in just to be polite. That is an excellent suggestion, though. I'll consider it. Thank you.

Dan The Chainsawman · Joined: 04 May 2005 Posts: 302 Location: Yinchuan

As a group the students will be more apt to object to the kid who was booted return. That's not just only true for China but most people everywhere. No one really wants to be the person who stands out in a crowd. It also sounds like this kid is so brazen they'd be somewhat afraid of him going after them if one of them did stand out as an individual.

Has the troublemaker's behavior caused so much trouble that it has offended the other students? If so, you might be in a good position to have them complain about the troublemaker's return.

johntpartee · Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 3258

I'm not sure. I got the impression he was kind of a JD to the other students. None of the other students have asked about him since his disappearance, I don't know if that means anything.

JamesD · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:57 am Post subject:

I understand this is a uni student but here's something I've used for the younger students, you can throw him a lifeline (with an anchor attached). Let him back only if his father will sit next to him in class and guarantee his behavior.

Daddy works all day? Tough. He's wasting his time earning money to educate an a**.

Daddy lives in another city? Tough. The commute will prove he loves his kid and doesn't want to throw away 20k.

Kid loses face? Tough. A**holes don't deserve it.

Daddy beats some sense into the kid and sits in your class for a few days? Problem solved. (Never going to happen anyway.)

If the kid walks back into your classroom by himself just walk out, notify the dean you're not teaching that class due to your safety being compromised, go home.

Cynicism wins again!

johntpartee · Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 3258

I just finished the class that the student was in and I fully expected the dean to show up with him in tow and ask me to let him in. I had a whole scenario laid out, to wit: "Sure, why not, I've only said "no" about fifty times, but what the hell, come on in! GOODBYE!!!" Cynicism and sarcasm would have carried the day and I would have been on my way! Didn't happen, though. I think maybe everybody realizes (finally) how serious I am about this. Overly optimistic; I haven't heard the last of this. I think that's what is making me more angry than anything else, all this extraneous turmoil over a smart-a who ain't got the smarts to cool-out.

fat_chris · Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 3198 Location: Beijing

John,

Stick to your guns and hold your ground. Don't let this joker back into the class if you can help it, although I think you've already made this conclusion, so perhaps I'm preaching to the choir.

I taught in a public elementary school in New York City for 3 years. Man, the cr@p I had to deal with. I could send a student out of the class for the afternoon, but I knew that that kid would be back the next day and I would have to deal with him all over again with the same nonsense, ad nauseum. It really wore me out.

I think it's great that you have the option to remove (and keep removed) a student from your class. There's absolutely no excuse for a second year university student to act that way. If he thinks it's appropriate to act that way, then he simply does not belong in a university setting. Clearly, something is not right with him.

For your sake as well as for your students's sake, keep this student out. Not only is he a pain in your @$$, but he is a huge distraction to the other students and he is disrupting their learning, which they have paid for. In my eyes that is the gravest offense.

Regards,
fat_chris

johntpartee · Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 3258

I have made my decision and that is to stick with my original plan; i.e. he's gone for the duration. I decided before I put it on the site, I just wanted to hear other people's assessment of my handling of the situation.

vexed · Joined: 12 Jan 2010 Posts: 13

A lot of good advice here. If I have this situation (as I'm sure I will do at some point in the future), I'll be sure to heed some of the points here.

One thing I would like to add is that it's important to try to disconnect yourself from the situation. As soon as you finish work try to switch off completely - forget the class and the annoying student. Focus on relaxing and enjoying your time. I know it's hard, but I think it's so important to be able to make that mental switch from work to non-work. Try not to let this guy ruin your non-work life.

Good luck and stay positive! Smile

fat_chris · Joined: 10 Sep 2003 Posts: 3198 Location: Beijing

mrwslee003 · Joined: 14 Nov 2009 Posts: 190

Congrats John!
You are the kind of teacher most students and teachers respect. I have taught
in Canada for over 30 years and 2 in China. I tried to be a teacher with strong
back bones like you. I think more often than not I 've succeeded.

So stick to your decision and not allow the donkey's derierre back into your class. He asked for what he gets and he deserves and needs a lesson in the
REAL world- no respect no pass go and collect 200 bucks.

You are not doing him a favour if you let him back into your class. He has to
change his ways to become a decent future citizen in this world. His other
teachers probably tolerated his misbehaviour and his parents are either in fear of him since he is the only child or at a loss as to what to do and praying someone like you would come along and save the day. Your Dean has not insisted that you take him back perhaps he too understands the situation and just going through the motions in requesting that you take him back, but underneath he probably wishes you would refuse to teach this future turd a needed lesson.

The very fact you said the rest of the class have not asked about him means
they have very little sympathy for the donkey either. They probably are grateful that you have the guts to face up this guy and respect you the more for it.

You are not doing what is easy but what is necessary and for the future good of the moron not smart enough to heed the warnings. Keep up with the good
work. China and the world need more teachers like you.

johntpartee · Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 3258

I like you!

johntpartee · Joined: 02 Mar 2010 Posts: 3258

and I hope you're right!