Job Discussion Forums

[Wonder83]

Hi there

This probably seems like a crazy question but here goes.......

I was wondering if it is easy to make friends when u are away in Japan as an ESL teacher? im friendly and never have trouble making friends but Ive never really been in a differant country. Im going to Japan soon and am begining to get stressed and keep thinking its going to be a lonnnnggg and lonely year Will some1 plz putme out of my misery and tell me Ill have loads of friends and parties??? lol

thanks in advance for any replies!!!!!!!!!!

[Ryu Hayabusa]

Yes, you'll have loads of friends and parties.

[Pitarou]

A few random things to try:

meetup.com
Groups in the Tokyo area

Hiragana Times International Parties

Just google for "Tokyo YourAreaOfInterest" and see what comes up.

Go to Japanese language classes! A great way to meet people, and once you have a smattering of Japanese and a friend to help you find your way around, much more is possible. I'm going to a local hiking club in a few hours.

[Glenski]

Yes, it's easy, perhaps easier than back home because there are so many others here in the same boat.

You will probably start by going out after work with foreign coworkers. Be aware that this can be harmful for the next day's work. Also, most of your foreign friends will not speak Japanese around you, so that hinders your opportunity to learn/use Japanese. Many also find this a prime time to do nothing but complain about the job and about aspects of Japanese culture they cannot understand.

Next, you may be invited to go out with your students, usually as a group, but sometimes on innocent other ventures (e.g., skiing). Be aware that some employers try to prohibit this even with clauses in their contracts. They don't want you to steal away money by slipping into a private teaching mode. This is your best chance to practice Japanese, of course, but beware that your students may not want you to do that, and it may injure your chances of using only English in the classroom later.

[TokyoLiz]

As Glenski says, be careful of spending time with people who do not speak Japanese because you get stuck in an "English bubble". I met some eikaiwa teachers through a neighbour but quickly lost interest. They only talked about what they didn't like in Japan. Most of their frustration was from a lack of knowledge about the culture, connection to people an Japanese language skill.

I was lucky to have found a good niche - martial arts training under senior foreign students who speak Japanese, and their Japanese teachers. I learned a lot about daily life, culture, manners, language. Find yourself a hobby or interest that hooks you up.

A few ideas -

Learn cooking, tea ceremony, kimono, shamisen, flower arranging, martial arts whether you speak Japanese or not. You'll soon learn!

To meet foreign people who are also new to the country and learning, take Japanese classes. Note that the majority of the students are likely to be Asians and not English speaking so you use Japanese as a bridge language. Frustrating but fun.

Go join a temple or shrine (some have strong communities around them), synagogue (there's one in Tokyo ! http://www.jccjapan.or.jp/ ), or church (too many in Kanto region to list) to meet people of like philosophy or faith.

Do some kind of outdoor activity. See http://www.outdoorjapan.com/oj/contents/home/?language=english There are walking and hiking groups all over.

I don't know if you're male or female. If you're a woman, I suggest contacting http://www.being-a-broad.com/ to find out about social events that local foreign women (and their partners) can join in their region.

Enjoy your time in Japan!

[untmdsprt]

[my_way]

It really depends on what you're into and your personality. For me, it is much harder to meet cool, like minded people here in Tokyo, than it was in other big cities.
I enjoy cities for art, culture, etc.....also because you get open-minded, fun, funky people......people who enjoy good food, wine, music, etc......
It's easy to get involved in cultural activities or groups, but finding people who are interesting, unique, and fun to drink a bottle of wine with over lunch and have a good laugh with is hard.
I feel that so many people try so hard to not be a foreigner here which leads to a complete lack of identity.....
I've been here almost 3 years and I have finally met a couple cool Japanese women that I enjoy hanging out with......it just takes a lot of digging and weeding out as with any other big city!
I also spend a lot of time alone and enjoy it!
My opinion

[yangyoseop]

[Apsara]

Yangyoseop, which nationalities are you thinking of when you talk about foreign friends? Glenski would have meant foreign as in non-Japanese, but it sounds like you might have interpreted "foreign" differently.

I would say that most English speakers living in Japan, particularly those who are teaching English, are almost exclusively going to meet and hang out with other English speakers at first (and Japanese of course). There's no need to seek them out, since they are co-workers, and native English speakers aren't likely to speak Japanese to each other for any length of time. There is no way that Japanese is the primary language used with other foreigners among English-speaking Japan expats.

[starteacher]

I agree with Apsara. A lot of foreigners hang out with other foreigners in an English speaking environment, because it is safe haven to do so. At first. Someone who has been in the country 6 months will tell you all the things that is needed to know, because he/she heard it from someone before him/her who heard it from someone, and so on. Often a lot of aimless gossip goes around too, after all, the very foreign teacher who is your friend could at the same time be applying for the same job. Or you have taken over the job from another teacher who has left and they will tell you all the good and, most often, bad points about that job or that company. Rather than wishing you well in your new job after you've put so much effort getting here.

Sometimes you're thrown together simply to resist and cooperate.

I actually find that if you try to discover Japan yourself, you would enjoy the adventure more. It then becomes your discovery, rather than from someone else's. And the Japanese help out here more. With foreigners, there tends to be too many opinions and comparisons to what is here and what is back home, whereas within the Japanese crowd, they tell you Japan as it is.

[Apsara]

[my_way]

[yangyoseop]

LOL oh god some of these comments... just goes to show, you can live in a country for years and still have no real understanding of the culture or the people.

[Apsara]

How long have you lived in Japan, and how well do you know the culture and people?

[Bread]