Job Discussion Forums

[Hiawatha]

Hi There

3 more weeks of teaching........Students are trying every trick in order to not study. It's gotten worse last couple of weeks.

Oh well, I'll just keep preparing and teach the ones that allow me to teach them. These students aren't bad people, it's just that I prefer a little more serious type students.

Am happy to have a job though.

How're your classes?

H.

[Mia Xanthi]

At this point in the semester, the only thing that works is to bribe them! Offer to let them out ten minutes early if they complete an assignment seriously. Offer them extra credit points if they get something done by the end of the hour.

And just be thankful that it is only the end of the term, and not the end of Ramadan!

[elamericano]

Days when there's a major football match on TV can also be really hard to get through.

[scot47]

The problem stems from the fact that so many of these guys do not want to be in class and do not want to learn anything.

[scrog_420]

[Cleopatra]

At this stage in the year our job become more one of glorified babysitting rather than teaching. Actually no, that's how it is all year round!

[Sheikh N Bake]

[johnslat]

Dear Sheik,

I'm glad to see that you realize the importance of being a good role model for your students.

Regards,
John

[Sheikh N Bake]

You remember my four lessons at the start of each term?

L1: "Now ah can be a nice guy, or ah can be one rreeaaallll meeaaann sumbitch."

L2: "Ya got ta git yer MIND right!"

L3: "What we have heah is a failure to communicate!"

L3: I know what you're thinking, punk: Did I teach six periods today, or was it only five? With the chaos and all, I sorta lost track myself. But seein' as how Headway is the most powerful curriculum in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you have to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well...do ya, punk?"

These pep talks set the tone for my pillows in the remaining 45 or so lessons.[/i]

[johnslat]

Dear Sheikm

Hmm, here are my four lessons at the end of each term:

1. "You coulda had class. You coulda been a contender. You coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what you are, let's face it."

2. "We all go a little mad sometimes."

3. "Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape."

4. "You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your as*."

and occasionally, I add this one:

""Excuse me while I whip this out."

Regards,
John

[Sheikh N Bake]

Ha ha! Well done, JS! I will round out my course with your pearls of wisdom and scintillating lessons. I've always said, every EFL lesson can be taught through famous movie quotes.

In W. Africa we had a coordinator who, when arriving for her rotation, stepped off the shuttle bus and snarled, 'WHERE'S THE CURRICULUM?'

I can finally say--better late than never--I have my curriculum!

[Sheikh N Bake]

OK, now that we have a CURRICULUM, what about classroom management?

From the Sopranos Manual of Classroom Management:

L1: Faccia brut'!

L2: I'm gonna give you a break. When I throw you off this bridge, if you can fly, I won't shoot you down.

L3: What happens, I decide--not you. Now you don't love me anymore? Well, that breaks my heart, but it's too f***in' bad 'cause you will respect me!

L4: I'm on this new medication. It makes me salivate.

[Hiawatha]

To the glorified babysitters everywhere, hang in there, it's almost time for vacation! Cheers!

H.

[Never Ceased To Be Amazed]