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21 year-old American male challenges?
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Pikgitina



Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Posts: 420
Location: KSA

PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Regardless of the OP's intentions, this has so far been an interesting thread.
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cmp45



Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 1475
Location: KSA

PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/100610/world/ml_saudi_kissing

Here is yet another article that demonstrates the sort of thing a 20 something kid might get involved in...as innocent as it may seem in the rest of the world- can have dire consequences in KSA.
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007



Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 2684
Location: UK/Veteran of the Magic Kingdom

PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do not think a 21 year-old American male with blue eyes can resist the 90 lashes in 3 batches (i.e. 30 lashes in each week! Laughing )?
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trapezius



Joined: 13 Aug 2006
Posts: 1670
Location: Land of Culture of Death & Destruction

PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The newspaper said the man sentenced for kissing will receive his 90 lashes in three batches, and is banned from malls for two years.


How exactly will they enforce this ban? Will they distribute his picture to the thousands of mall gate security men all over the country? Rolling Eyes

And besides, what he did he could have done anywhere, so his act has nothing to do with malls. Great... now he can go do the same in places with no cameras! Idiots....
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear trap,

If you're still looking for reason, justice and/or just plain common sense after all your time in Saudi, I think I understand why you chose the avatar that you did.

Regards,
John
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ummkhadija



Joined: 06 May 2010
Posts: 105
Location: ..The resort city of Saudi Arabia..

PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 6:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello

Well, after reading many of the messages on this particular posting. Its disheartening to see that many of you here, have been in the Middle East for so long and still believe that things like being sexually harassed, kidnapped, or many other things mentioned here can only happen; because you are blue-eyed and have blonde hair.

I can understand living in a culture unlike your own can be difficult, but honestly can't a blue-eyed blonde in the US get raped as well? Is it not the norm to not get into the car of a stranger? Come to think of it, when it comes to our rape/molestation statistics--don't most of them occur by a family relative or friend? So, trust really plays a big role and from the messages written, it seems like you should never trust a male local?

I do believe providing her with the difficulties of no alcohol, pork, or parties with women can be harsh for some 21 one year olds (or for many people of any age).

If her son plans on working, that will give him something to do, so it didn't seem like he was coming for a vacation per se. If he abides by the same rules when it comes to strangers he should be fine. Anything like being kidnapped can be applied to his mother as well, because from what I can see, just being a foreigner in ME is a risk.

I know I haven't lived in KSA, but I do believe that when it comes to safety, some things just seem obvious. Don't get into a car with someone you don't know, avoid being in a place that you don't know how to get home from, and it seems most importantly (from the postings) don't mingle with the locals too long--stay with the expats.

I do realize the post was asking for advice, so that was my two cents Smile

UmmKhadija


Last edited by ummkhadija on Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
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cmp45



Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 1475
Location: KSA

PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 11:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ummkhadija wrote:
Well, after reading many of the messages on this particular posting. Its disheartening to see that many of you here, have been in the Middle East for so long and still believe that things like being get sexually harassed, kidnapped, or many other things mentioned here can only happen; because you are blue-eyed and have blonde hair. UmmKhadija


Of course one should use common sense no matter one's age/nationality.

I don't think anyone would dispute that such things 'only happen' to blue eyed blond boys; of course not!. However, the fact is: The OP stated that her son was blue eyed and blond which unfortunately, does make him an above average target in KSA.
It's not what one believes/ thinks to be true; it just is the reality on the ground.


If you have never been to KSA, it is difficult to fully understand.
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veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 17644
Location: USA

PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ummkhadija wrote:
I know I haven't lived in KSA, but I do believe that when it comes to safety, some things just seem obvious.
This is the key detail in your post, I'm afraid. I haven't been there either, but because of living around the rest of the Gulf for many years, working with many who lived and worked in Saudi previously, IMHO this thread contains some very sound advice.

No one suggested that bad things don't happen everywhere. But Saudi is very much a different world, especially in the smaller towns. A young and 'pretty' Western male, who has no experience of this part of the world, is entering a minefield... where everything he has learned as "common sense" doesn't work.

One interesting detail that I saw in the Gulf... it was less dangerous for Western women and more so for non-Western women. On the other hand, it was more dangerous for naive young Western males. For reasons that probably shouldn't be covered here.

VS
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Mia Xanthi



Joined: 13 Mar 2008
Posts: 955
Location: why is my heart still in the Middle East while the rest of me isn't?

PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ummkhadija, there is a reason why these "common sense" advice posts have to be stated repeatedly and with emphasis. Yes, all of these bad things can and do happen anywhere, and some of them may even happen less frequently in KSA.

However, you have to remember that much of the time we rely on our "common sense" to avoid these things, and much of what we call "common sense" will become distorted the minute you set foot on Saudi (or any foreign) soil. The culture is so different from ours that you cannot rely on your instinct any longer to tell you which people are good and which people are dangerous. All of the cues that we usually pay attention to are suddenly wiped away. Take clothes, for instance. Many times we judge whether a person is dangerous or not by the kind of clothing they wear. Well, in KSA, this kind of cue is useless, since everyone wears pretty much the same thing in public. This is just one small example of how you cannot overstate the need to be careful, simply because you cannot trust your own judgement any longer.

Also, even though KSA may not have any higher rate of rapes or kidnappings than other countries, the consequences of such crimes can be very different from those in other countries, and far more devastating. Remember that as a foreigner, your word is worth less than a Saudi citizen's word. As a non-Muslim, you are trusted even less. Add that to being a woman, and you can easily see that you are not likely to get justice for any crime that occurs to you - and you may well end up being blamed or even imprisoned for the crime that was committed against you.
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Never Ceased To Be Amazed



Joined: 22 Oct 2004
Posts: 3500
Location: Shhh...don't talk to me...I'm playin' dead...

PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 8:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Only in this part of the world can a woman be jailed for being raped...because "common sense" here tells "everyone" that she enticed the rapist.

As I always said in saudi...How can you expect people to use "common sense" where "sense" is uncommon?

Similarly, how can someone lose "face"" when they never possessed face"" in the first place?

NCTBA
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Gerund



Joined: 09 Feb 2003
Posts: 80
Location: Amerika

PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 2:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ummkhadija wrote:

I know I haven't lived in KSA...


You certainly know a lot about a place you've never been, ummkhadija.

Perhaps after you've lived in KSA for 5, 10, 15 or more years, as I and many of the other contributors to this thread have, your comments on this topic will not be completely meaningless.

(MOD edit)


Last edited by Gerund on Sun Jun 13, 2010 3:51 am; edited 1 time in total
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cmp45



Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 1475
Location: KSA

PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 3:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

realist, apologist; were all human beings wearing different colored glasses!
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