Job Discussion Forums

[Wolf]

I have a few.

"Atari mei daro." (Well, duh!)
"Tannin ga shoukuji chu no toki, ijime wo suruna!" (Don't bother strangers when they're eating!)
"Ma, ore wa tensai dakara." (Well, I am a genius after all.)
"Oi, hito no sukata to meshi no tabikata wa kankei ga aru hazu wa nai." (Hey, there is not relation at all between a person's appearance and how they eat.)


And then there's my all time favorite:

"Ah! Nihongo de shabeta! Anata no nihongo wa jouzu desu ne!" (Ooh! You speak Japanese, and you do it so well!) I've had nearby people laugh out loud with this one.

Are they rude? Atari me daro. Then again, so is pestering a random gaijin during dinner time.

With a bit of dramatic bravado, though, these can be fun to use.

[azarashi sushi]

Jumping on the band wagon of revivng old threads...

I was a having a bit of a bad Japan day today (I'm sure you've all had one) ... so felt compelled to bring this one up again...

For the most part, I seem to manage to avoid all those stupid chopstick jouzu desu ne questions... But somehow today I managed to get caught!!! And combined with the heat and humidity and holiday so close yet so far away... Chotto pushed me over the edge and so now I'm feeling the need to vent a little bit.

I have various part time jobs ... One of which is working in this elementary school that I visited today...

I'm convinced that Kyoto sensei at this school must be studying English with kids down at the local ECC JUNIOR because every lunchtime I'm bombarded with "Can you... ?" and "Do you like... ?" questions. All your favourites are there... Do you like sushi/sashimi blkah blah blah...

Today's lunch contained octopus, so of course we had "Can you octopus?" followed by "Can you eat umeboshi?" today.

I think they must have advanced on to a new unit down at ECC JUNIOR because suddenly he comes out with, "And how about women? Australian women wa big and fat... Japanese women wa small and thin desho".

How do you respond to that one? I was tempted to say, "The same really applies to chinkos desho. Australian wa big and fat and Japanese wa small and thin desho."

BUT I DIDN'T!!! I just glared at him.... And had those words ringing through my head, "This is hell and I'm trapped in it!"

Anyway, getting back to chopsticks... For the most part, like Glenski and Zzzonkmiles, I just answer politely, "Thank you but it's easy".

Some days when I could be bothered, I add on, "I'm surprised that you're surprised that I can use chopsticks because I don't think it's a very difficult thing to do."

With all due respect to the Japanese (I do like them!)... I think they're a bit dumb (very generally speaking) and don't have a natural flair for a lot of things (most notably speaking English).

You would be surprised at the amount of people who then say, "Oh no... I couldn't use chopsticks untill I was 20!". I think Japanese people genuinely consider using chopsticks to be a great skill.

While we're on the subject of not having a natural flair for things... I'm also constantly surprised by the amount of Japanese people who are surprised that I can swim...

It would seem that not being able to stroke and kick at the same time is a national problem. Hmmm...

Anyway, that's all.... just had to get it off my chest.

Time for bed now.

Good night everyone. Stay cool!

[Glenski]

FWIW, I just had an amusing incident on this line. I had to visit the dormitory last week, and while I was monitoring the students studying in the lunch room, one of the tutors decided to chat with me. He is a retired teacher, and he speaks no English.

He knew I had been in Japan a while, but he watched me eat dinner there and commented that I used chopsticks well. I gave him the standard reply, "Thanks. It's easy."

Another teacher in her late twenties said I used them better than her. She showed me how she holds chopsticks, and she's right. Her grip was pretty awkward, much like my wife (who admits she, too, does not use them properly and will rely on me to teach our son how to use them).

The retired guy and I spent the next ten minutes trying to teach her a comfortable way to hold them, and I found it very amusing. Never did see if any students were watching us, but if they were, it must have been quite an eye opener for them.

[monkey_z]

I do the same thing as lajzar. I switch to my left hand. This wows them sometimes. I ask them to try it.

[JimDunlop2]

Hehehe... Sorry, guys... I couldn't help but resurrect this old post. I had another "o-hashi ga jouzu" experience yesterday... From people who already know me (and should know better)...

I was at school, eating lunch in the office with the office staff, including the kocho sensei.

Kocho sensei (not to me, but to the teacher sitting next to him...) "Dunlop-sensei wa o-hashi ga jouzu desu ne"....

Me: "Iie, iie. Kocho sensei MO o-hashi ga jouzu desu yo!"

Kocho sensei (taken aback)... "Ee? Ah, so desu ka? Ore wa nihonjin kara."

The rest of the staff room is snickering under their breaths but too polite to laugh out loud at him...

Kocho sensei (to the teacher next to him again, but a lot quieter this time): "Sore mo, Dunlop-sensei wa nihongo wo wakarimasu jouzu yo...."

I just smiled, and chalked up an imaginary point. Jim Dunlop: 1 Kocho Sensei: 0...


(Excuse any Japanese grammar mistakes... That's about as close as I can remember the conversation as it happened...)

[guest of Japan]

If you could have said something in your finest keigo like, no kocho sensei, compared to your skills, I'm but stabbing a dead cow with a spear go degozaimasu.

[canuck]

[SEndrigo]

"Thanks, but I'm much better with a sword!"

[king kakipi]

[fluffyhamster]

I eat my school lunches with a dinky little fork that I got from the 100 yen shop. Whilst I didn't get it to specifically avoid those inevitable 'hashi ga jozu' comments (rather, it's because the matching chopsticks that I bought at the same time are a bit small, and also have some non-slip material gunked onto their ends, which makes cleaning them a pain), that is, I've now realized, the welcome bonus to using the fork as opposed to the chopsticks. (I guess that it's harder for, or seems ruder for the students to come up with things like, 'Don't you have chopsticks?' or 'Why do you use that silly little fork?', even though these would lead to more interesting conversation).

If I lost my fork and/or were forced to use chopsticks (perhaps my longer, smoother 'Last Samurai' ones - handy for committing seppuku on the spur of the moment!), I'd probably reply on a cranky day to the jozu comments with something like, 'What did you expect me to eat with, my fingers?!' (=seeing as there's nothing else with which to eat, chopsticks it is then!). Alternatively, you could wait until it's spaghetti or sloppy crap day at your school and make a point of strongly commending each and every student within earshot of their skill in using a fork or spoon (if you'd get off on that sort of thing).

I guess I ultimately don't find the comment irritating enough (yet) to be bothered to do more than grunt a non-commital 'Yup, thanks' or 'Uh-huh' in reply; and the 'You too' would seem the most economical way of making a point if you ever felt you really had to.

[kdynamic]

I have had great luck with 'Uh, thanks. Can you use a knife and fork?' Half the time, they shake their heads sadly and say 'Actually I'm pretty bad at using a fork' The first time I thought of this line of attack was when I was out with my boyfriend at the time at an Italian place and after a while I realized he was staring bug eyed at me eating my pasta. I was like, What? And he goes 'fooku jouzu na. sugee' and I had to crack up.

My other response is a shocked 'Eh? Ohashi tsukaenai no??' Which usually causes them to laugh at themselves and then back off. This also works with the sushi thing. 'Eh? Osushi taberarenai no??'

[Sour Grape]

I say "You're pretty good yourself, but not as good as some of my Burakumin friends".

[SEndrigo]

Burakumin!!

ahahaha

that's hitting below the belt!!

[Lynn]

[osakajojo]

I just say, "Yea, since I was a child, my parents would order Chinese a few times a month."