Job Discussion Forums

[graciela]

Hello,

I am considering applying for a job as international teacher in Muscat. I would be moving on my own with my 4 years old son.
I will appreciate very much your feedback on what would be like to live there as a single mother.
Thanks a lot,

Graciela

[web fishing]

There is a post on this forum inquirying about single father in Oman http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/job/viewtopic.php?t=17875
I don't know how you would be viewed as a single mom, but the advice given to Lionbrian should be the same.

[veiledsentiments]

The advice from Lionbrian is good. The things that you need to clarify are:

How accepting will your employer be?

Will your salary be high enough to cover costs?

What about schooling for your child? School fees are extremely high if you have to pay them from your salary.

VS

[scot47]

Islamic values apply. You will have a difficult time as a single mother.

[veiledsentiments]

You can say that you are divorced or widowed. Plenty of Muslim women are also in that situation. It is just that they move back in with their families. It is not any more difficult to be a single parent in the Gulf than back home, most likely financially easier in the Gulf...

The thing to avoid is for a single woman to get pregnant after coming to the Gulf. Then, problems could arrive at delivery time.

VS

[dmb]

[veiledsentiments]

Yes, but it is quite easy to see that a woman is pregnant... it is rather had to tell if someone is going to become a father... or is there something I have missed Did my mother not tell me about this detail?

VS

[housecat]

Hi, everyone. I'd like more information about these Islamic values and how they apply to making life hard for a single mom.

Also, I'd like to know if I would need "permission" from my son's non-custodial, completely non-involved, father in order to travel with him. When I asked questions a couple of years ago about living and working in Al Ain, UAE, I was told I'd need such a document. Is this still the case, and does it apply to Oman as well?

Thank you all very kindly.

[veiledsentiments]

[Opti]

Hi,

I checked with a single mum friend of mine and yes, you do need a document from the father saying that he gives his permission for you to take your child to Oman, whether the child is male or female. Officials here do not seem to check to see if the mother was ever married to the father, but such a single mum should not talk about that after she arrives, to avoid any problems. As VS advises, just say that you are widowed or divorced.

One of my single mum university-teacher friends lived in Muscat and she had a wonderful life here. Her kids attended one of the good private schools and were very happy and active. She dated some Muslim and non-Muslim men, and then eventually she met a westerner, married him, and moved to his country.

As VS mentioned, the hardest part might be paying for education as a single parent - the luckiest teachers are those who teach at the best private international schools, not universities, because they get free (I think - or greatly reduced) tuition for their kids. Universities and colleges may offer some educational subsidy money, but it's not nearly enough to cover the tuition and fees at good private international schools. My friend had to budget strictly and teach summer school to afford her children's school costs.
Finding an international pre-school might be difficult too. SQU has one on its campus and there are private ones in the expat areas of town, but they may be expensive and hard to get into. That's one reason single mums (and dads) with young children hire a full-time English-speaking housemaid or nanny.

Also, if you have school-age children, you need to start trying to enroll them in a school as soon as you accept the employment offer, and even then, your schools of choice may be fully booked and you may have to wait a semester or term. This happened to a young family I know whose father just started teaching at SQU in September. They couldn't enroll their kids when they arrived, but they had made provisions for the wife to stay home and home-school the kids. A single parent can't do that! This where you need a housemaid/nanny and a good one will cost more than 100 OMR/month even if she lives in, plus the cost of the visa, insurance, and round-trip transport home for her once a year. And you have to find someone you like and trust!

Another single mum friend of mine with 2 young kids has had a lovely Filipino housemaid/nanny living with her family for several years, but it has been expensive for her. Also, the university provides only 3-bedroom housing, so her kids have to share a room to give one to the nanny. She has never complained of any problems with Muslim attitudes.

So, I don't think that it is living in the Muslim culture of Muscat that offers the big problems - the challenges are money and available slots for school, and finding someone to be at home with the kids when you are working or want to go out alone.

I think trying to bring up kids as a single parent outside Muscat (or Salalah) must be more difficult. (Lower income, fewer if any international school choices, medical care, and difficulty finding a good nanny/maid).

Good luck!

[elmoro]

in addition to what opti said, make sure you find out how official the permission letter has to be. in other words, check to see if you are required to get it attested and/or if there are any official stamps needed. a colleague of mines had a horrible time with this issue. after it is as official as they want it, take it to a translator and keep it in a safe place. most documents that have been stamped by one gulf state will usually be accepted by other gulf states. just in case you move around some.

elmoro

THE HORROR, THE HORROR!