Job Discussion Forums

blaz44 · Joined: 03 Jan 2005 Posts: 32 Location: wroclaw, poland

Just wondering, are there other native speakers in the same boat. Honestly, after 5 years teaching in Poland, I can say I have no Polish friends. I know people, have their #s, but at the end of the day, not really a friendship there. I am married to Pole as well, I just have nothing in common, except the drink and usually I am drinking them under the table(not something to be proud of boys and girls). I am on the edge of going postal. Looking for a change but not interested in returning to Canada or my old occupation.

wojbrian · Joined: 13 Aug 2009 Posts: 178

I have some great friends here.

Jack Walker · Joined: 23 Oct 2008 Posts: 412

Yeah I know what you mean. I spent 7 years there and never really made any good male friends. There are a few that I keep in touch with, but they were all colleagues from work.Generally Poles are terrible when it comes to keeping in touch.

An Australian mate of mine spent 10 years in Poland and never had a good male friend after that time. He said that the Polish blokes like to call you up/text from the pub at 2am when they're pissed and ask you to come out with them,but when sober they tended to lay very low.

The Polish blokes I met fell into 3 categories:

1)Guys wanting to practice their English/be seen with a "foreigner" for free.

2)The drunk friends/drinking buddies who appear a few times a month only to vanish again.

3)The guys whose lives revolve around their jobs.They could be your friend under normal circumstances, but are so busy working 50-60 hours per week trying to keep up with the Nowakowskis, that they have no time for an actual life.

Female friends are quite easy to make, but the whole sexual tension thing usually messes things up.Polish women are all a little batty/neurotic and should be dealt with very cautiously! Smile

maniak · Joined: 06 Feb 2008 Posts: 194

No surprise there, most people made friends back in college or through immediate relationships, ie family/friends of friends/work.

Jack Walker · Joined: 23 Oct 2008 Posts: 412

hrvatski · Joined: 16 Nov 2008 Posts: 270

Zero close Polish male friends... female friends on the other hand were plentiful! how good is it strolling into a bar with 6 gorgeous women Smile

maniak · Joined: 06 Feb 2008 Posts: 194

hrvatski · Joined: 16 Nov 2008 Posts: 270

Ha! I deserved that, but really it's a good way to go.

Master Shake · Joined: 03 Nov 2006 Posts: 1202 Location: Colorado, USA

Hod · Joined: 28 Apr 2003 Posts: 1613 Location: Home

maniak · Joined: 06 Feb 2008 Posts: 194

Hey Hod, it has nothing to do with pretending to be someone else. As with all facets of life, you have to adapt to your environment. Otherwise Darwinism kicks in and you go the way of the dodo, imho. I was no tough guy then nor now, but I am far more persistent and demanding and I would say even agressive than before, Poland demands it or youll be walked all over. But Ive always been a car enthusiast but it now plays a bigger role in my life as a conversation 'set piece'.

In the end you are right, they are more acquaintances than friends, but I did make a few really close friends here and its they are one of the reasons keeping me here instead of searching for greener pastures.

sharter · Joined: 25 Jun 2008 Posts: 878 Location: All over the place

In TEFL we're mostly ships that pass in the night.

I have Polish people I party with but only 2 or 3 I've known since 96 and they're all women and great. I'm 40 and the men my age are mostly bullshyting a-holes. The younger generation on the other hand are cooler, more liberal and just modern. I must say though, going to the pub with Poles usually costs. Dating certainly does. Polish blokes tend to big themselves up and you're never really sure what's true....a bit chippy I suppose.

There are many I like, who also like me, but having real friends is different. The Brits I've known in Poland since 96 are friends for sure.

Once you've done 5 or 6 countries you realize you'll never see these people again. TEFLing can get lonely.

Blasphemer · Joined: 03 Dec 2008 Posts: 199 Location: NYC/Warszawa

Bingo!
I think I've just realized why most of you guys post here so often. Ever thought that it just might be you? Let's see, hundreds of natives in this country and only a handful posting here.
I've made some really great friends here in the past two years, my wife as well. I hate to point out the gorilla at this fine table, but man...
Good point about making friends while at the Uni, but people are the same, no matter where you go, there are of course some cultural differences, some more, some less serious, but being yourself usually works no matter where you go. People see through facades, and you simply end up looking like a pretentious *beep* half the time. I've found that being a straight shooter is usually the best way to find friends and avoid people who are simply trying to take you for a ride.