Job Discussion Forums

[breacan]

Hello,

This is a general question I have about life overseas.

When do you decide that you really just don't like a culture? I know a lot of it could be attributed to culture shock/bad mood/etc, but how long do you feel it would take before you know for certain that it is not you, it's the place you are living?

[spiral78]

Well, in a sense, it's always 'you,' right? Because obviously many other people live wherever and like it quite all right.

You could think of a foreign culture as an outfit of clothing. You might have a shirt that's a bit tight under the arms, and the toe of that right shoe rubs your foot the wrong way. Probably bearable. But add a scratchy waistband, constricting tie, trousers that chafe in sensitive areas......

If when/if you get to the point that the figurative outfit you have to put on every day to live (wherever) is so uncomfortable that it constantly bothers you, then the culture/country simply isn't a good fit for you.

As with new clothing and shoes, it's always best to give it a good try - such things often loosen up and get more comfortable with a bit of wear. If they don't - probably a good idea to change situations.

[spiral78]

As for how long it takes, I think that depends on the place and the degree to which it is foreign to you. For example, if you are a visible minority in the new country - or not. What percentage of locals speak some English in real life (outside the classroom)? How different is the food/activities/local transit/etc?

Generally speaking, it takes some time to establish normal daily living routines and to juggle a new job. I would guess that most people really need a full 10-month contract period to get established somewhere enough to know if the culture will be a reasonable fit or not. The first few months are always challenging.

Here's an interesting in-depth discussion of culture:http://forums.eslcafe.com/job/viewtopic.php?t=60225&start=45

[breacan]

Hi,

I like your clothing analogy; I think that's what I mean. Yes, it's me, because other people are happy enough. Maybe I should have said something like 'how do you know you're not just going through a difficult patch?'

I've been here for nearly two and a half years. I was just wondering if that was enough time to decide.

[spiral78]

Probably, two and a half years is enough

Are you not liking many things? I'd be curious where and what....but obviously up to you if you want to elaborate.

[MotherF]

I agree with spiral--two and a half years is probably enough!
I was thinking like you'd been there less than six months.

(warning generalization follows)
I think the first six months is all learning, the second six months is settling in, if you don't enjoy the third six months, then it's a problem.

(like Spiral said, how different the place is from your home country plays a roll as does how easy it is for an outsider to live there--for example if the local language is a romance language, you can probably read the words on signs--even if you don't know what they all mean--In Japan, I was amazed at how easy it was to go about day to day life without being able to read any of the signs, but when I came back to Mexico after Japan--it was a relief to be literate again!)

[naturegirl321]

It depends on the person, but sometimes it gets real bad. I knew the point came for me in Peru when I had to start carrying rocks in my purse to protect myself and asked my husband for a divorce just so I could leave..

Other people simply withdraw, only hang out with foreigners, drink, immerse themselves in something, etc. You'll know those, don't worry.

[natsume]

[naturegirl321]